Arrested Development

Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything...

and the one son who had no choice...

but to keep them all together.

It's Arrested Development.

This is Michael Bluth.

Right now he's taking his son, George Michael, to start a new life in Arizona.

Phoenix, Arizona, huh? This is it, boy.

We are free.

We're gonna follow our dreams, you know?

And the best part of it? Not workin' for the family anymore.

Yeah, but don't-don't you always say "family first"?

Yes, I do. But that is not a family, okay?

They're a bunch of greedy, selfish people who have our nose.

- And Aunt Lindsay. - She's not my real aunt?

Not a real nose. Got a picture of her when she's 14 in a swimming cap.

She looks like a falcon.

Spent an entire year living in that stupid model home with those people...

and all they did was lie to us.

The most recent lie was Michael's father had had a heart attack while in prison.

We lost him.

What the doctor meant to say was that George Sr. Had escaped...

a feat he'd accomplished by using the family's portable stairway vehicle.

I'd love to see the look on their faces right now.

- "Where'd he go?" - Or they-they think we're just headed home.

Actually, you know, that's kind of what I thought...

until I heard about all that Phoenix stuff.

Michael was concerned that the full impact of his departure...

might have been lost on his family.

- Hello. Who is this? - Yes, this is Dr. Blumen.

I'm calling regarding Michael Bluth.

Michael! Phone!

They think we're still there. We're goin' back.

Hey, Mom. Any messages?

None.

No, there was a message.

It was about my health, but it doesn't matter.

My son and I-

Buster, what are you doing with Mother's rape horn?

Yes, I have a rape horn, Michael, because you took away my mace.

Yeah, like anyone would want to "R" her.

This is what I'm talking about, Michael.

Now that your father has deserted us, Buster's become impossible to control.

Suddenly he's too much of a big shot to brush Mother's hair.

Well, I'm not he-

I'm not helping you with Buster anymore.

I'm not helping anyone with anything.

I came here to tell you that my son and I-

George Michael, meanwhile, was approached by his cousin Maeby.

So, you're really Ieavin', huh?

Have you told your girlfriend, Bland? I mean, Ann.

- She's not my girlfriend, and she's not bland. - Really?

Because, I mean, under her school picture it said "not pictured."

Okay, they printed a retraction in the spring supplement.

And, yeah, she was really lookin' forward to seeing me in my Uncle Sam outfit...

in that Get Out The Vote assembly tomorrow.

Wasn't that supposed to be before the election?

They had to postpone it when that foreign exchange student parked too close to the gym.

I do it. I play Uncle Sam.

Better than part I have now- guy who orders strike on Pearl Harbor.

I don't know why you're not taking this "I'm out of here" seriously...

but I am out of here, seriously.

- Let's face it, Michael. You've made this threat before. - Tell me. When?

That's it. I'm out of here.

- Ta-da! - I'm out of here.

We got the attacking animal down.

I'm out of this family, seriously.

This time we're gonna be so far away, you'll never be able to find us.

- We're goin' to Phoenix. - Don't tell 'em where.

- L-I just thought- - It doesn't matter why.

Michael, maybe the reason why you always come back...

is because you need us more than we need you.

Oh, that's rich.

Huh. I need you. All right, I'll tell you what.

Mom, you're always asking me to help you look after Buster.

You can find somebody else. I hope she doesn't kill you.

I'll kill her first.

And good luck trying to find someone else to run the business, by the way.

Gob, instead of always coming to me asking me for money...

saying, "I've made a huge mistake"...

you can bail yourself out next time.

I've never admitted to a mistake. What would I have made a mistake about?

Lindsay, instead of sleeping in twin beds, you and your husband take the master bedroom.

It's not like you've never come to me with your marital problems...

saying, "Oh, help me, Michael. I think my husband might be a"-

Ohh!

- Well-It's- - Here we go.

And so, once again, the guys were on their way to Phoenix, never to look back.

It's just the lab calling.

We'll give him the bad news in Phoenix.

- They know we're gone. - Great.

You did say Phoenix again, but what do we care?

Sorry.

Now, do you want to steer, or are you too old to sit on your pop's lap and drive?

I think I might be.

Okay.

Car's registered to George Bluth, so we had to check.

- But he's been caught, so you're free to go. - He's been caught?

Michael knew if he went back to see his father...

he would only end up saying something hurtful.

We're goin' back.

In fact, the police only thought they'd arrested George Sr.

Do you have any cookies with no preservatives?

But had gotten his twin brother, Oscar, instead.

- Oscar! A tall tea for Oscar! - Yeah!

Oh, good grief. It's Oscar.

Oh, thank God you've come.

Lucille had a relationship with Oscar years earlier...

- which she was not eager to rekindle. - What is wrong with you?

- The boy is here. - Oh.

- They said my father was here. - Did they?

- Let's get out of here. - What-What about Oscar?

Yes. They impounded my, uh-my humble trailer.

- You'll stay with us. - No, he won't.

You're the one who says I need a father figure.

Yes. A father figure.

Fine. But you're not sleeping in my bed.

- Okay. - Okay. Yeah.

Soon, Michael arrived to claim his father...

and was met by the family attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn.

- Hmm. - No, I know, I know, I know.

Everybody says leave it alone, leave it alone.

Does this look contagious to you? Hey, kiddo.

All right. It wasn't your father.

It was your uncle. I ran into them as they were leaving.

There he is! Got ya!

- Oh, for God's sake. - Yeah!

I only came back to tell him I was leaving, so I guess it's time to go, Son.

- Where you going? - We can't tell you.

No, no. We can tell Barry. We're going to Phoenix.

Oh, I wish you hadn't have said that.

As your lawyer, I have to inform you you cannot leave the state.

With your father gone, they want to hold you.

- M-Me? - They're going to indict you tomorrow.

All you have to do is come up with the bail. Take it out of the business.

But I-I can't. I quit. I don't want to follow in my father's footsteps.

Then you might wind up on his cot.

Oh, man, I wish you hadn't said Phoenix. Wow.

Michael had just found out he couldn't leave the state...

Michael had just found out he couldn't leave the state...

unless he came up with bail.

Okay, listen. I'm gonna get the company checkbook and don't tell the family.

We can't give them the satisfaction of telling them that I need money, okay?

- Do you remember what we say about the family? - It's not Aunt Lindsay's nose.

Yes, but no.

Don't-Don't tell them that we were goin' to-

- We say we don't need them. Hmm? - Oh. Yeah. Okay.

The new one. I didn't-

It comes from knowing you're toned and fit.

- What are you doing? - I'm exercising, Michael.

I see you found an exercise tape made for people as lazy as you are.

- I do have a love life. - Tighten, one, two, three.

Okay, this is going off.

One night in the master bedroom, and you got yourself a love life again?

Well, I'll be honest. At first, it was awkward.

Together, two, three, four.

- Release, two, three, four. - Oh, Lindsay.

Uh, well, this is exciting.

- Finally we can be a normal couple. - Nice to be back in a queen.

- It's too much pressure. - I can't do this.

So Lindsay and Tobias finally took a hard look at their relationship.

You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples...

to explore an open relationship...

where-where the couple remains emotionally committed...

but free to explore extramarital encounters.

- Did it work for those people? - No. It never does.

These people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but-

but it might work for us.

- We could give it a shot. - Great. We'll hammer out the details later.

Right now we've got a daughter to tell.

Maeby, we're having a family meeting!

- On her way to the family meeting... - Family meeting!

- Lindsay had an unexpected encounter. - Hello.

Oh, hi. Gob told me to come by.

Well, uh, I don't think he's here.

Well, tell him I like what I see.

And we probably won't even act on it. We're not gonna get a divorce.

If anything, it'll bring Mommy and Daddy closer together.

I met someone. I've got a date.

I'm dating someone.

Well. Let the great experiment begin!

- You're not using my master bedroom for that. - I believe you left.

Or did you realize how much you need us after all?

- Actually, I came back because I need something. - Hmm.

Some things. Like the checkbook. Where's the corporate checkbook?

Gob must've taken it to the office.

Mom put him in charge. That's right, Michael. He's got your old job.

Well, I better get over there before he brings the whole company down.