Entourage

I have no idea what I'm doing out of the house right now.

You're gonna have one drink, Johnny, relax.

Better make it a fast one. I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow.

You needed to start sleeping years ago

if you were gonna have any shot at being beautiful, Drama.

Why can't you ever just be supportive?

- Sorry, I'm just being funny. - Well, you're not.

Tomorrow's audition is the most important of my life.

- I apologize. - I don't accept.

He's sad Jamie's leaving, Johnny.

Why isn't he with her instead of here abusing me?

'Cause she's at a meet and greet with her new cast mates

- and I'm gonna go sleep there later. - Well, la-di-da.

That's Jamie, she's done early. I'm out.

- Shut up. - It's her last night.

- Okay okay. - No tears, pussy.

- Later. - Later.

Hey, Johnny, if you want to go too, I understand. I can just roll with E.

It looks like his dance card is already filled, bro.

Wow, E making out in public.

That's something I never thought I'd see.

- I think I know that broad. - Really?

- Yo, E, what's up? - Hey, what's up?

- Hey, Tara. - Oh, hey, Johnny.

- How are you? - Good. How you doing?

- I'm good. - You guys know each other?

- Oh yeah. - How do you know each other?

- Drama: Calm down, E. - I can't calm down.

- When were you with her? - When were you?

- Last week. - Ha, I beat you by four months.

- I'm sick. - E, I've had most of this town.

It was bound to happen that our trees

would dabble in the same forest at some point.

I figured it would happen with Vince at some point, not you.

- Hey, we're still young. - God, I'm nauseous.

- Now you're insulting me, E. - Yeah, and lighten up.

Four months was a long time ago.

This girl wasn't for you anyway.

- Why not? - 'Cause she's real slutty.

Let's roll.

What do you mean, she's real slutty?

She might have given me something.

- Shut up! - I can't be sure.

I was on a real hot streak when it happened,

but she was the prime suspect.

- Are you joking? - Relax, E, you'll be fine.

- Yeah, you covered up, right? - Yeah.

Did you?

I said yeah.

You twitched.

The classic no-condom tell.

- You didn't wear a bag? - I didn't have one.

She told me she was on the pill.

- Oh, E, rookie mistake. - I've got to go home and take a shower.

I'd pick up some Clorox if I was you.

Tomorrow morning I'm waking up and I'm calling my doctor first thing.

Looks like we both need a little Irish luck tomorrow.

- Good morning, Mr. Gold. - Who are you?

Matt Wahlberg. H.R. Sent me up.

They said you were unhappy with your assistant.

I've been unhappy with the last three they sent.

I got you a blueberry bran muffin from the Belwood Bakery.

I was told it was your favorite.

It is.

Except this is cranberry.

- What? - See the red berries?

Um, I asked for blue.

- Did you check? - No.

- Bye, Matt. - So back to Human Resources?

Back to the lowa farmhouse that breastfed you till 15.

- Running a little late, Ari? - Oh, Jesus!

Terrance, what the hell are you doing here?

Perhaps it's budgetary cuts.

There was no one minding your desk.

Perhaps I should have security escort you out the way yours did me.

- I suppose you could do that. - What do you want?

- I have some business I'd like to discuss. - At your age?

Shouldn't you have more important concerns?

Like finding an assisted-living facility?

Listen, I've got to tell you, Ari, this place...

I mean, it's amazing.

I can't believe how quickly you've gotten back on your feet.

I'm more than back on my feet,

I'm towering over you.

Ah, Ari, still the same snippy little boy.

Terrance, if you have business to discuss,

start discussing, 'cause I'm busy with my own business.

Obviously I need this to be discreet.

What, you want a merger?

- Your star pupil walks out on you... - I want you to buy me out.

Why would I want to?

Obviously that's up to you to decide.

I'm putting it out there to you first

before I'm offering it to anyone else.

Why am I so fortunate?

I just want a simple deal, minimum hassles.

Now if you're interested, we could go there.

If not, then all right, so be it.

Well then, I'll go.

How much?

- 100. - (laughs) Come on.

I know your business inside and out. That's ridiculous.

I don't think it is.

Our backend on "Seinfeld" and "Friends" alone

will keep you in green for decades.

- You just think about it. - I just did.

If you change your mind, you know where I am.

Clubbing baby seals somewhere?

You've got 24 hours.

24... fuck it. Llo...

Jamie: I'm downloading you the new Empire of the Sun album.

I thought you were picking songs for you.

I started to, but I gave up

when I came across your Boyz II Men collection.

Drama must have put that on my computer.

- Oh, yeah yeah. - Whatever. I do have a sensitive side.

- I know. - Now let's go.

Your last meal is ready. Spaghetti Bolognese from Madeo,

spicy tuna rolls from Katsuya

and lobster mash from Mastro's.

Interesting combo for 11:00 A.M.

- I wanted it to be special. - It is.

I don't want to leave.

You may not be able to if you don't finish packing.

Seriously, I don't feel ready.

We haven't even talked about us and how we're gonna handle this.

We're gonna talk on the phone 10 times a day

- and I'm gonna come visit. - You think it's that easy?

I know it is.

Now can we please put the computer away and enjoy 3500 calories?

Yes. One sec. I just want to check if my flight's on time.

- All right. - What's this?

What?

It says you've got a new Facebook friend.

Oh yeah?

The girl from U.C.L. A?

Drama: "Let's get those brews on ice."

"Let's get those brews on ice."

Oh, you've got no shot, Drama.

Yo, Faustino. What up?

Nada, just testing on a new pilot.

- Annihilated it. - Nice nice.

What about you? What are you doing?

Testing for the new "Melrose."

Didn't they throw you off that thing once?

Yeah well, it's a new day.

- Bad ass. - Yeah.

- So how you feeling about it? - Confident.

- I got this down cold. - Nice.

- Johnny. - Hey, Phil.

- Rock it, man. - Later, bro.

- Hey, guys. - You ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. You guys ready?

Absolutely. We're just waiting for the director.

- Cool. - There he is.

- He's directing? - Yeah, you know him?

- Uh-huh. - Great. Awesome. I'll see you inside.

Doctor: How many sexual partners have you had?

I'm just worried about this one in particular.

I still need to get a general idea of your history.

I don't know, the normal amount.

Multiple partners. Any group sex?

- Is this really relevant? - Yes.

Uh, I had a threesome once with two girls.

- Ever given anal sex? - I tried once. No.

- Ever received? - No!

- Do you use protection? - Usually.

Not this time, obviously.

And this partner told you

that she may have something?

Well, no, but a friend of mine who was with her

thinks she may have given him something.

- Oh. - Yeah, tell me about it.

Well, we're still gonna need to get a swab.

What are you gonna do with that thing?

Exactly what you're hoping I won't do.

If you're leaving for four months it's silly to go out now.

- I'll be back. - Let's go.

- How was it? - I feel violated.

I'll call you.

Of course we want it, if we can get it at the right price.

But 100 sounds ridiculous.

It's beyond ridiculous. But if we can pull this off...

We're the largest agency in the world.

- Music, publishing, sports. - It's got a nice ring to it.

Not for 100, it doesn't.

The question is what's his real price?

The question is why is he coming to you first?

Says we can make an easy deal.

You two hate each other! That doesn't sound very easy.

- No, it doesn't. - I worked for Terrance for 14 years.

He doesn't like easy. He likes a fight.

So he's trying to make Ari look stupid.

- I didn't say that. - No, I did.

He won't. You just tell me if we want this.

Not for 100, we don't.

Hi, Mr. Gold. I'm Jake Steinberg.

H.R. Sent me up to replace your last assistant.

I don't care. Get me Eddie Kapowski on the phone.

Any relation to Kelly Kapowski? You know, "Saved by the Bell."