Friends

- She totally winked at me! - She did not wink at you.

You always think somebody's winking at you.

Huh.

I say "Tupelo Honey" by Van Morrison.

No way!

The most romantic song ever was "The Way We Were. "

Ah, I think the one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's the Boss?

- What song was that? - Um.

Hold me close, young Tony Danza

Hi, Monica. Hi, Mon.

Hey, Mon.

Oh, my God!

- Has she slept at all? Nope.

It's been three nights in a row.

She finally stopped crying yesterday.

But then she found one of Richard's cigar butts on the terrace...

Oh. Okay, that explains it. I got a call at 2 in the morning...

...and all I could hear was this squeaky sound.

So I thought, "Oh, it's a mouse or a possum. "

Then I realized, like, okay...

...where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?

Morning. - Morning. Hey.

You made pancakes?

Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.

Monica and Rachel had syrup

Uh, uh Now I can get my man to cheer up

Good morning, Joey.

Good morning.

Here's a thought.

Why don't you stay home from work and just hang out with me?

Oh, I wish.

You have that report to finish, and I've got to see my lawyer.

I can't believe I date a girl who's getting divorced.

- I'm such a grownup. - Ha-ha-ha.

I gotta go, I gotta go.

Not without a kiss.

Maybe I won't kiss you so you'll stay.

Kiss her. Kiss her!

I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye, Joey.

Bye-bye, Janice.

So when are you dumping her?

Nope.

Not this time.

Heh. Come on, quit yanking me.

I'm not yanking you.

- This is Janice. - Yeah, I know.

She makes me happy.

Okay. All right.

You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking...

...that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.

I'm not breaking up with her!

Ah!

What's that?

God, look what I found in the drain!

What?

It's some of Richard's hair!

What do I do with this?

Getting it away from me would be job one.

It's weird, but I don't want to throw this away.

This is all I have left of him.

Gross...

...drain hair.

Ew!

Cool! Oh, it looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal.

- God, what is wrong with me? - You need to get some sleep.

I need to get some Richard.

You broke up with him for a reason.

I know. I know. I'm just so tired of missing him.

Tired of wondering why he hasn't called. Why hasn't he?

Maybe because you told him not to?

What are you, the Memory Woman?

They're not breaking up! Chandler and Janice?

They're not breaking up! He didn't blink!

I'm not surprised. Have you seen them together?

They're really cute.

"Cute"? This is Janice!

You remember Janice?

Yes, I remember. She's annoying. But you know what?

She's his girlfriend now. I mean, what can we do?

There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! "What can we do?"

Huh?

All right, who's first, huh? Ross?

Chandler's our friend, and Janice makes him happy.

So I say we be adult about it and accept her.

We'll call that Plan B.

Honey...

...I was wondering... - Mm.

...do you still have that, um, Navy uniform?

No, I had to return it to the costume place.

Oh.

I think I have an old band uniform from high school.

You remember not having sex in high school, right?

Yeah.

Well, honey, what about you?

- What? - I mean...

Do you have any fun, you know, fantasy-type things?

No.

Come on. You gotta have one.

Nope.

- Ross, you know what? - What?

If you tell me, I might do it.

Okay.

- Ahem. - Um.

Did you ever see, um, Return of the Jedi?

Yeah.

Do you remember the scene...

...with, um, Jabba the Hutt?

Jabba had as his prisoner...

...Princess Leia.

Oh.

Princess Leia was wearing...

...this, um, gold bikini thing.

It was pretty cool.

Yeah, Princess Leia and the gold bikini? Oh, every guy our age loved that.

- Really? - Mm-hm. Mm.

It's huge! That's the moment when she stopped being a princess...

...and she became, like, you know, a woman.

Did you ever do the Leia thing?

Oh, yeah. Mm-hm.

Really? That great, huh?

No, it's just that I got this new pager, and I have it on "vibrate. "

See you.

Hey.

Hi, you guys!

Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon...

...staring at a parking meter.

- Ahem. Mon. Hi. - Hi.

- Why aren't you at work? - Oh, they sent me home.

Why?

Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon.

You really need to get some sleep.

I know I do.

- Hi. - Hi.

Guess what? They published my paper.

- Oh! Really? Let me see, let me see. - Uh-huh.

Rach, look!

No. - Ooh.

Hi. Ha, ha.

Ha, ha! Oh.

Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me?

There he is!

- Hey. - Wheel!

- Of! - Fortune!

This guy's so stupid.

It's Count Rushmore!

You should really go on this show.

I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What do you say?

I say I am there!

Cool! Oh.

Is Ross going too?

No. Janice.

Janice?

Because I just feel bad for Ross, you know?

We always go together. We're like The Three Hockey-teers, you know?

I may be way out on a limb here, but do you have a problem with Janice?

No!

Yes...

Oh, God, how do I say this? Uh...

Oh! Ah!

You know that girl from the restaurant with the hair?

Ooh! That girl that I hate? Ugh! She drives me crazy. Ew.

Oh.

Look, I don't hate Janice. She's just a lot to take, you know?

- Well, there you go. - Oh.

Don't look at me like that.

She drove you nuts before too, remember?

I'm crazy about her now. This could be the real thing.

Capital R, capital T!

Don't worry, those are the right letters.

Look, what do you want me to say?

I want you to say that you like her!

I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know?

Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna...

...pull my arm off so I have something to throw at her.

Thanks for trying.

Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore!

Then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?

- Ugh. - How could you tell her?

I didn't think it would be that big a deal!

Oh. She didn't think it would be a big deal!