Shaft

Now you wanna be quiet.

Now, when I got you in front of my motherfucking face,

and I'm asking you questions.

What the fuck are you looking at? I'm right here!

This is the fucking problem.

You don't show me no fucking respect, and you don't listen.

I say the same shit to you

over and over and over again like I'm a motherfucking tape recorder!

Not to mention the fact that my apartment smells like a fucking cow barn

because of all your fucking leather jackets!

And what is this?

You're a grown-ass man. Open a fucking checking account.

Your name is Shaft, not Chase.

Nigga, I'm not gonna keep dealing with this shit.

Now, I done told you,

I don't know who the fuck or what the fuck you think this is.

And you know what?

You think this shit is fun for me?

You think I like hearing myself repeat myself, repeat myself?

Hello? Are you even listening to me?

'Course I am, baby.

Come here.

You wanna do me a favor?

What?

Oh, fuck no! Fuck no!

Who the fuck do you think I am?

You think I'mma put my sanctified lips on that tainted community dick?

What the fuck?

- Okay, I'm gonna need a minute. - Where the fuck are you going?

- Just stay here. I'll be right back. - No! Don't go!

Please don't go!

Shit!

Oh, shit!

- Shit! - Motherfucker!

Fucking Gordito.

Please don't!

Don't shoot! Please, please!

Girl, what's wrong with you?

You were saying something about my bank account?

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that?

You said no one would hurt us here. Not in Harlem!

It's not my fault, Maya.

No! John, this is different!

I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm not...

I gotta get him away from all this.

No. Maya, Maya...

I gotta get him away from you!

Maya, don't do this.

Led by cutting over $255 million...

O.J. Simpson has been...

It's okay.

So y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife...

Move!

No, thanks.

- Drive safe! - Let's go.

Yeah.

Oh. Seriously?

Watch out, dipshit!

Excuse me, sir, but this is a pedestrian...

Yeah, yeah. Fucking millennials!

Seriously?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Boom. Gotcha.

Yo, where the hell have you been, man?

I just got back, but we, we need to talk about some shit,

so you down to hang?

Oh, what, "hang" hang? Like, in person?

Hell yeah, I'm down.

What's going on over there?

It's an ambulance. I'm walking near the hospital.

Hospital? You good?

- Do you mean am I using? - No.

No, that's not what I said.

I know you're looking out for me, man. I appreciate that. Sorry.

I'm actually just going for a routine checkup

with your favorite doctor, in fact.

Who, Sasha?

Dang. Man, I bet she looks good in scrubs.

You know, I will tell her that you've been thinking about that.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Come on. Don't... Don't do that.

No, J, you know I wouldn't do you like that. Come on, now.

And, plus, you're, like, a badass FBI agent.

She might actually give you a shot.

Well, I'm not an "agent" agent, per se. I'm a data analyst.

Data analyst? Please tell me you don't tell anyone else that.

Are you kidding me? Of course I do.

Cyber's running shit around here.

Hey, Shaft.

Conference room. Now.

It's John, sir.

Okay, I gotta go.

Yeah, "run shit,"?

All right, everybody, listen up.

As expected, the White House

wants to ramp up cyber surveillance on potential terrorist threats.

Specifically, we're keeping an eye on the Rashad Azzam Mosque in Harlem

and its cleric, Farik Bahar,

who's drawn our attention with his frequent trips to Afghanistan.

Now, we are gonna need a complete digital blackout.

- Is that clear? - Yeah.

The last thing I need is that asshole from Channel Eight News

spewing some bullshit story about Islamophobia

running rampant through the Bureau.

So heads on a swivel.

Okay, who wants lead on this?

Anyone else?

Wait. Seriously? I can do this.

No, you can't.

Put me in the game, coach. I...

Listen, rookie,

this isn't some bullshit exercise they give you at the Academy.

This is the real world.

There is a certain hierarchy here you need to respect.

Gotta give respect to get it.

I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. What'd you just say?

- How the hell did you hear that? - Listen, kid.

I don't have time to deal with the latest hotshot out of MIT

looking to flex his nuts.

I am dealing with daily terrorist threats,

the worst heroin epidemic this city has ever seen,

and a seven-year-old daughter who wants me to call her Frank.

You are a rookie.

Know your fucking role.

Pasternack, you run the show.

Meeting dismissed.

You want another? Happy hour's almost up.

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Can't say no to a $16 wells.

Are you, like, an FBI agent or something?

Yeah, well...

I'm actually more of a data analyst rather than an "agent" agent.

I'm kind of like a cybersecurity expert.

Okay, she left.

Again, bro, if someone is asking you if you're an FBI agent,

just say you're an FBI agent, man.

- Good to see you. - Hey, man.

Okay? Especially if she looks like that.

- I got you a little surprise. - Sasha!

Oh, my God.

- What's up? - Hi.

Oh, it's good to see you.

Oh, you know, when I heard that you guys were hanging out,

I had to invite myself.

Of course.

I mean, I can't even remember

the last time the three of us were together.

What do you guys want to drink? Here, let me get something.

Thank you.

- I'll have a club soda. - Can I get a whiskey, please?

I'm serious.

What... What did you have to leave town for?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was setting up some, some stuff for, my new business.

New business?

Wait. He didn't tell you about Brothers Watching Brothers?

No.

Yeah, damn.

Okay, so it's this rehabilitation program

that, me and my Army buddies started.

Basically, the idea is to help vets who are coming back

who, are going through the same shit that I went through with addiction,

and so just sort of helping them out, get them on their feet.

Oh, shit. That's...

Yo, that's what's up.

There's something else, too.

Something else?

Like what?

Sorry, guys. I actually, I gotta go.

- You gotta go? - What?

I gotta go. Some work stuff popped up.

You just said that you were gonna tell us something.

Yeah, and I'll just text you about it later in the week.

I just... There's something I gotta do.

Okay.

Yo, Karim!

You good?

What? Yeah. No, I'm fine. Get back in there.

You said that you wanted to talk. I figured we could just talk right now.

Nah, man. No, that's...

I just want to say, thank you.

Thank you for always being there for me, for always, you know, having my back.

Yeah.

So go in there. Go have fun.

- All right. I'm out. - Yeah.

Wish me luck.

Hey. Hey, Ma, what's up?

Hey...

You okay?

Fine.

Ma, hey, what's wrong?

JJ...

They found Karim.

He's dead.

Ready. Fire.

Ready. Fire.

Center face.

I just can't believe he was using again.

He wasn't. He was clean.

JJ, don't make any excuses for him, okay?