Real Husbands of Hollywood

Previously on "Real Husbands

of Hollywood"...

He's slipping!

Pull up, pull up!

Ahh!

It's cold in here, though.

Ahh!

My gosh!

He fell!

Oh!

They say when you're

about to die that your life

flashes before you.

I always assumed that it would

be the good times.

That's what I'm talking

about.

Not this

Oh, my God!

You are no longer my client.

Just one question.

And this might be my last

question.

How do I change this horror

channel called my life?

Ahh!

Ahh, ahh, ahh!

Oh!

Oh, God.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you!

I'm alive!

Oh!

Boo.

Ha ha ha!

What up?

Now you guys are probably

wondering why I'm in a casket.

When we originally planned this

event, it was to raise money

for Kevin Hart's funeral.

I mean, the dude fell off

a 14-story ledge and fell into

a pile of money.

This dude's got endorsements.

He's got book deals.

He's got movie deals.

So instead of a "Oh, my God,

we feel sorry for you, Kevin"

kind of a roast, this is

a "you and your

ass" type of roast.

So without further adieu,

my main man, Mr. Kevin Hart!

Are all these people here

for me right now?

Yes.

Wow.

Poor Kevin.

He can't remember a thing since

he got rammed in the head with

those skateboards.

But it's not all bad news.

In the time that it took him to

fall from the 14th floor to

the pavement, he has gone from

being America's most despised

to America's most beloved.

People cannot get enough of him.

I mean, everybody wants a piece

of him.

Networks, studios, advertisers.

Excuse me.

Old girlfriends.

Mmm.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Who are you?

Papi, I am Charmagne.

You don't remember me?

No.

I don't remember.

I'm your boo, baby.

Let me see if I can help you

to remember.

Well, I had a--

Oh!

Charmagne, it is not the time

nor the place.

No, that's the place.

Excuse me.

I was giving him

my phone number.

Oh, I didn't know you could

write all the way down there.

It's in the dark.

Oh.

How can you see?

Papi, you call me...

Yes.

...when you lose the

blocker, all right?

Okay.

Mwah, mwah.

Mmm.

Are you sniffing yourself?

No.

Why they got this

big-ass casket?

What, did Kevin

and his brother die?

The fact that you survived

the fall off the ledge is proof

that not only does God not like

ugly, but neither does

the devil.

But on the real, you know,

I keep hearing all this about

Kevin's amnesia and how

everybody's feeling so sorry

for the guy, but the truth is,

I mean, the motherknow

nothing to forget

in the first place.

I don't remember.

People say, "You everywhere,

Kevin!"

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, you everywhere,

all right.

In the crack of my !

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.

That is Kevin talking

Look at Kevin Hart.

He don't know what the

I'm saying right now.

Therefore, he don't remember

nothing about I'm about to say

right now.

Only thing you should remember

tonight is I was on this

damn stage.

'Cause my show "The Millers" is

doing its thang.

So when I leave this

tonight...

all you're gonna see

is the ghost of J.B. Smoove.

Hey, guys.

You mind if I sit

at the cool table?

Um... no.

Pull up a chair.

This is crazy.

Hey.

So you really don't remember

us, huh?

Oh, man, I can't say

that I do.

I don't remember much of

anything, to be honest with you.

Whoa.

Wait, Nick Cannon

for Beverly Hills mayor.

"Because they need a hero"?

You're a hero?

Yeah, yeah, actually I am.

What?

I didn't get there in time

for you, but I saved all these

guys from falling off the ledge.

Saved all our lives.

Nick Cannon is coming!

Nick Cannon.

I got you.

Mr. NCredible.

Oh!

Hero.

Oh, one more.

This is weird, man.

Kevin is being nice.

See, look, people in TV Land,

I don't know if you know

the truth or not, but Kevin is

not a nice person.

He is a world-class ass--

wait for it-- hole.

See, I had to separate it

'cause you can't say those words

together on BET.

But this is definitely not

the Kevin I know.

Shoot, Mariah wouldn't even let

this Kevin come over

to the house.

No, I wouldn't.

Kevin Hart has a lifetime