Scrubs

My shift hasn't started yet. Try that guy.

- That guy right there? - Yeah.

All right. Thank you.

A lot's been going on around here the last two weeks.

Turk and Carla got married, that short guy hurt his hand,

and since I broke Elliot's heart,

I was still trying to smooth things over.

Hey, buddy.

What's with the giant needle?

We still had some work to do.

Where was I? Oh, yeah.

The hospital also had a new attending psychiatrist...

Dr. Molly Clock.

This is a really windy hospital.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was, uh, drying up a patient's urine.

Hmm.

I'm... I'm kind of a favorite around here.

Not only was Dr. Clock easy on the eyes,

but she was an excellent shrink.

Mr. Whitcomb is in a psychotic break from self-discontinuation of his meds,

so we need to get him on a haloperidol IV stat.

But I also heard she was a little spacey.

So where were we?

Uh, we weren't talking.

Was it something you did? 'Cause I'm over it.

I don't remember what it was.

No, I mean, like, we've never talked. Ever.

- How do I know your name, then? - You don't.

- You're freakin' me out, Jimmy. - It's Johnny.

Why say Johnny? You hate Johnny!

I'm gonna commit it to my memory forever.

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

- OK, Johnny. - Damn it!

I'm meeting so many people, and I haven't really gotten to know anybody.

So let's talk. It's not like I'm going anywhere.

- Great! Oh, thanks. OK... -

- Excuse me. -

Turk's back from his honeymoon!

Nice to meet you.

Turk! Hi!

- Go ahead. - J.D.!

Ooh, J.D.! J.D.!

Maybe someday he'll love me like that.

He's here! Turk!

J.D.!

Turk!

- Turk? - J.D.!

J.D.?

Turk!

Dude!

Stay right there! I'm so excited!

- Aw, how'd this happen? Holler! - The roof!

All right, look, from now on,

- we're calling this roof A. - Got it!

Turk!

The eagle! So, how are you, man?

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

The newlyweds. Oh, and hey, Carla.

Mark my words, the first year of marriage is a real treat.

Sweetheart, do you remember ours?

The silly fighting for control.

You broke my jaw!

You gotta stop that back talk early.

- Come on, glass jaw. - Duck and move, Gandhi.

Here it is. Watch it.

Oh! Duck and move.

Ignore him, baby.

We have a great relationship.

Nothing's gonna change.

Over the next few days, Carla started to change everything.

Hey, dude, get us some more ice cream.

First of all, this is a Rice Dream.

Mmm, ricey.

Secondly, I can't get out of these new chairs she got. Am I using it right?

These bowls Carla bought don't hold a lot of Rice Dream.

I can barely get my spoon in it, look.

Hey, J.D., although we do appreciate the wedding gift,

Turk and I decided we don't want this Sugar Hill Gang alarm clock.

We don't?

I got it.

Whoa! I got it. I'm OK. Don't... Here he goes...

Aah!

I'm still in the chair! It's like a bear trap!

As I fondled Katya, my pillow girlfriend,

I thought about how things had changed for all of us.

I had almost forgotten that when I wake up,

it'll be the start of my last week as a resident.

Snooze.

Don't look at me. It just fell.

Please, please, please, please?

Proceed unmolested.

I knew he'd buy it, 'cause today feels like one of those great days.

People seemed to be getting to know each other.

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.

Fantastic. Get off my face.

My last week of residency had begun.

In seven days, I'd be a full-fledged doctor.

It felt special to me, and I had a hunch it meant a lot to one other person.

Yes, milady?

So? You feelin' all like bleaaah?

That depends. Does "bleaaah" mean confused and incredibly annoyed?

Come on, man, it's our last week together.

The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station.

You must have a metaphor you want to use. Hit me with it.

I suppose I could riff a list of things

that I care as little about as our last week together.

Let me see...

Low-carb diets, Michael Moore,

the Republican National Convention,

Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products,

Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots,

The OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd,

Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys,

Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much,

the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states,

every hybrid car, every talk show host,

everything on the planet, the solar system,

everything, everything, everything,

everything that exists, past, present and future,

in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions.

Oh! And Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman's Wolverine.

How dare he?

I missed you guys so much.

Mmm. Come over tonight, we're looking at wedding pictures.

Ooh, there's this one picture of me right after I got sick

off my third champagne and Red Bull and my hair's sexy messy,

and the photographer said he could airbrush the puke off my dress.

- Already made doubles. - You rock!

So, um, is J.D. going to be there tonight?

Can't you come over anyway?

Um...

Hey! Do you guys mind if I eat with you?

'Cause I don't wanna sit alone and sing to my food like a crazy person.

- Oh, my gosh. I do that. - No way!

Mostly pop songs, you know, unless I'm eating soul food.

- Where's your food? - Oh, shoot.

Look, Elliot, we'll do something later this week, the two of us.

OK.

Ha! Oh, that is not my food.

But I'm not getting up again.

- Looks good. -

I gotta go. See you.

It's so strange feeling all alone when, like, a month ago,

I was part of this really tight group, you know?

Yeah. I had tons of friends at my old hospital.

I've got to meet some new people.

Do you want to, uh, get a cup of coffee tonight?

Can't. I'm hitting the Internet hard and going on a friend hunt.

When you get back from surgery, Mrs. Grodberg,

we'll play Scrabble again, and this time I'll beat you.

Of course you'll beat her, son.

She's having half her brain removed.

J.D.? A little problem this morning with Malik.

Our car? Is it bad?

Hey, AAA?

I need a pickup on the corner of 4th and...

You know what? You'll see it.

Ah, Malik. Lots of memories in that old car.

- Of what? - Driving, mostly.

Beep beep.

Why don't we pool our money together

and buy one of those nice, cute, little Mini Coopers?

Baby, a Mini Cooper?

The most amazing thing happened.

I'll tell you what, Turk.

Why don't you go pick out our car?

Carla let Turk make a decision.

OK. But baby, you should know that it's not gonna be a Mini.

'Cause there ain't nothin' mini about me.

- There isn't. - There isn't!

Mr. Radford, if you keep turning down therapy,

you'll never be strong enough to get out of bed.

I'm tired.

I know, but I would love it if you'd at least try.

Haunting.

Drink your juice, Mr. Blass.

Mr. Blass has Pick's disease,

which is similar in presentation to multi-infarct dementia.

Anywho, he likes to sing when he gets up,

and the weird thing is, Johnny, he actually captures the mood of the room.

You gotta take a stand on this Johnny thing before it becomes permanent.

You know, it's J.D. for John Dorian.

So John. But Johnny's fine. It's cool.

What's wrong with you?

I noticed you were having some trouble motivating your patient,

and I actually published a paper on motivation methodology in post-operative seniors.

So if you want, I could help.

What floor?