The War of the Worlds

Woman: No-one would have believed

in the first years of the 20th century

that we were being watched

by intelligences greater than man's,

yet as mortal as his own...

That as men busied themselves about their various concerns,

they were scrutinised as narrowly

as creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.

Yet across the Gulf of space,

intellects vast, cool and unsympathetic

regarded this earth with envious eyes...

And slowly and surely

drew their plans against us.

I think I saw it.

- Man: Oh, really? - Man 2: Really?

Yes, it... there! Look.

- Do you mind if I...? - Please.

Man 1: Good lord. So that's Mars.

Man 2: Yes, but did you see a pillar of smoke?

Like a reddish flash around the edge?

- Woman: Yes. - Man 2: Yes.

May I? If one of you kind people could, uh...

I hope I can catch a piece of this in time.

Now, if you would please hold very still.

Gosh, look at that!

Woman: What do you think it is?

Man 2: A volcanic eruption perhaps,

along the lines of krakatoa, only bigger.

People saw something similar

the last time Mars was this close to earth

during the oppositions of '94 and '98.

Keep it. It's a present.

Welcome to the neighbourhood.

Well...

We're pariahs, you know, George and I.

Well, yes, I'm afraid so.

Welcome to the neighbourhood.

Woman: At least it's nice to have

someone to talk to in woking.

George: Oh, is it really?

No, that it must be lovely for you. Yeah, thanks very much.

Stop it, George.

George: Now it's the corner that's the worry.

Woman: Try sitting. Sit!

George: It's actually easier standing up.

Woman: But you wobble when you stand.

You're looking at me in a very meaningful way, George.

Well, you just make me feel very poetic, Amy.

Are you sure it's poetry you're thinking about?

Well, poetry's very passionate, isn't it?

Yes, but it's brief.

Amy: Look, you've got one from the socialist society

for the abolition of capital.

George: They've tracked me down, have they?

- George... - Yes?

You forgot something. “What?

Give me a kiss.

Mm.

- We won't be stuck here forever. - Well, we might.

I promise.

Bye.

- Woman: Disgraceful. Shocking. - Man: Yeah.

Man: Gentlemen, good morning!

It seems like the fuse we've all been watching for the last year

may have just been lit.

Six trawlers out of hull 50 miles offshore,

they were fired on and sunk.

12 dead. Family men.

Fired on by whom?

The Russian Navy's sailing south at the moment,

en route to engage the japs.

The working theory is they mistook them

for Japanese torpedo boats.

What, a bunch of trawlers 5,000 miles from Japan?

Either way, Arnold, britain will be joining the show.

So a response from the admiralty, please.

They're readying the troops.

The minister for war is going to be making a statement.

Get me a decent quote.

You, Russian embassy, naval situation.

- Sir... - George.

- General research. - Very good, sir.

But would you mind awfully if I went to the admiralty instead?

It's only I have a source there, you see, sir,

who I would rather like to speak to.

Your brother?

Alright.

A column and a half by midday, you can be in the finals.

- Very good, sir. - Take Arnold with you, though.

Man: And this is from the empire range.

We have it in stock down in weybridge.

Full of rather vivid colours.

Nursery colours perhaps?

You know, I grew up there.

Near the charminar.

My father was part of the survey.

How are you finding it in england?

- Oh, rainy. - Oh.

When I got off the boat at Dover,

I thought england was the most grey and cold place

I could ever imagine.

Well, there's something to be said for rain.

I know I would find India rather too warm.

And what does the man of the house do?

He's a journalist.

Oh...

Oh.

That's you, is it?

Yes.

That's us.

Six weeks at least.

Excellent.

And thank you very much.

You know, we are very much in love, sir.

I'm sure the time will fly by.

Man: In light if this cowardly

and unprecedented attack by Russia,

it is worth recollecting

that if you ask any man

what nationality he would prefer to be,

99 out of 100 will tell you

that they would prefer to be englishmen.

Man: Anglo-Saxon territory is for the anglo-Saxon race,

the best, most human,

most honourable race the world possesses.

And any challenge will be faced and defeated.

We are an empire

on which the sun never sets.

Thank you.

Man: Hoorah!

- Man 2: Well said! - Man 3: Hear, hear!

My secretary will take your questions, gentlemen.

Reporter: What's the Russian response likely to be, sir?

Secretary: There's nothing much to add

to what the minister has said so well.

- But, um, I shall do my best... - Reporter: Sir! Sir!

If you need facts and figures.

Reporter 2: What are the losses to date, sir?

Good morning, sir. Is this covered by the lansdowne treaty?

And if so, how will the pact stand if the Russians attack us?

So, in regards to the lansdowne agreement,

we are committed to Wade in against Russia

after certain lines have been crossed.

And is this one of those lines, sir?

Yes, well, we don't like to comment

if we are not in full possession of the facts.

However...

In response to the atrocities in the north sea,

we are embarking troops,

army and Navy leave is cancelled.

And that's all I can give you.

Thank you, gentlemen.

- Fred... - What is it? How did you get in?

A press pass. It's the only way I could think of to see you.

I thought I'd made myself perfectly clear.

- I don't want to be seen. - I, uh...

I need your help. With what?

Oh, no, no. You're... you're joking, George.

I just know that you've always been very close to Lucy.

Well, so have you. She's your wife.

Look, just come over to the house. Come and see us.

Come and meet Amy again, spend some time with her.

We're, um... in woking, near horsell common.

I know where you live.

Don't you have a deadline or whatever they call it?

Well, there's a women's college in bedford square.

You could do a masters of natural sciences.

Apply in September.

And how would a woman go about that?

Well, a woman would get some letters of recommendation,

speak to some of the old ladies.

Benny!

Hey!

Stop it!

Benny!

I eave her alone!

Stop!

You were just saying that you wanted to do something

with your degree, that it would be a shame to waste it.

- It's what you're good at. - Darling, that's very kind.

But there's a rather important piece of the puzzle

that needs to fall into place

before anyone will give me letters of recommendation.

What?

George!

What is it?

There's an egg there, Mary.

From the duck?

Uh, no, I think it's from the dog.

Mary, ignore him. I can do that.

Thank you.

- What is that? - It's a present.

It's, uh... it's a clock that makes tea by distillation.

- George. - Yes?

I went to see my brother today.

What did he say?

Nothing good.

What sort of business has a clock got making tea?

Please tell me, what are they going to do?

Have a, uh... nhave a lavatory that makes bacon and eggs?