Royal Pains

Previously on Royal Pains...

You let a billionaire hospital trustee die

to save some kid off the street.

- I made a judgment call. - You made a mistake.

This trip is gonna get you back on your feet.

- What trip? - To the Hamptons!

Stay in my guest cottage for the summer.

This thing you have, it's genetic.

Quite fatal.

I'd like to start making some calls.

Dr. Marisa Casseras.

You don't want your dad to see how far you've come?

When my mom got sick, he just walked out on us.

What you did was gutless and pitiful.

In the last three days I found the most wonderful man.

Hi, boys.

You are gonna love the new script.

We've really dimensionalized your character.

Fleshed out his backstory, given him a girlfriend.

I have a girlfriend?

Beauty and the Beast. It's timeless.

I'm guessing I'm not the Beauty.

Plus, the girlfriend will

really shore up our female demographics.

- But I live in a landfill. - Used to.

Now you live in Miami.

This isn't the minor leagues anymore.

It sounds great, but I'd like to run it by Faith.

Hi. I am so sorry I'm late.

I forgot the name of the restaurant.

Oh, is that the shooting script?

Hot off the presses.

- I have a girlfriend. - In a landfill?

Miami.

You are going to love this.

We'll see when I read the script.

So how long will you be in the Hamptons?

A week.

Oh, then you must come to a party

that I'm having on Saturday.

We'd love to.

Oh, great! This is so exciting.

It's my son Bowen's birthday... he'll be 11.

He is your biggest fan.

Terrific.

Uh, okay, well, I'll let you two

take care of the business stuff.

Oh, Donald, a question.

Do you travel with your costume?

Because I'd love it if you could come in character.

Sure. Love to.

Oh, fantastic.

Thank you, sweetheart.

License and registration, please.

I saw you weaving while you were pulling out

of the restaurant parking lot.

You have any drinks while you were in there?

Just a diet cola.

You want to step out of the vehicle for a second?

And, um... Step over to the curb.

All right, I'm gonna give you a field sobriety test.

What I'd like you to do is take

nine heel-to-toe steps towards me.

All right, sir, I want you to stop.

My legs.

Sir, I'm not gonna ask you again!

I hate having to hitch a ride.

Why are you having lunch with Newberg anyway?

Look, if Eddie's gonna be around

and get tangled in our lives,

I can't control it, but I can warn her.

So you're choosing our client over our dad?

Exactly.

I just don't understand why you have to say anything at all.

What the hell is that?

Yeah, I need backup.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you think you're doing?

- He's suffocating. - He's a doctor.

Look, you have to uncuff him now.

No, I'm not letting Mongo loose.

Look, he's got positional asphyxia.

The only thing he's trying to get at is some oxygen.

Please.

It's gonna be all right. I got you.

Evan, help me roll him over now.

Let's go.

There you go. There you go.

Oh, my God, it's the Garbage Collector!

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

That's the Garbage Collector.

- Oh, my God! - Let's get him up.

- Let's get him up. - How?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy!

There you go. Are you okay?

That's it. Slow, deep breaths.

Oh, my God, I'm a humongous fan of yours.

Humongous... forever.

Like, I've seen every one of your movies.

I read the interview with Fangoria last month... Epic!

You want a picture, don't you?

I would love... Well, I mean,

Yeah, I would love a picture.

All right.

Oh, my God.

- Okay, here you go. - No.

- Just ple... - All right.

"Cheese" on three.

One, two, three... Cheese!

***

Like 100 grand?

It grossed $80 million. 80 million!

You must have made a killing off that, right?

- Evan, would you please... - What?

I got paid $700 for three days' work.

What? Are you serious?

I didn't have any lines in the first one.

I mean, I wasn't complaining.

It was better than being a bodyguard.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's bodyguard.

Right? Arnold Schwarzenegger?

- Right. - That's so cool.

By the way, Garbage Collector IV,

The last one... by far the best one... by far.

It made Garbage Collector III look like Garbage Collector I.

What does that even mean?

How much do I owe you, doc?

I think we can call it even.

Mm...

I shouldn't have eaten that cake, Hank.

I should have just applied it directly to my thighs.

Okay...

So this is, uh...

This is a little awkward for me.

Hank, I'm not trying to replace your mother.

What? No, that's...

Your father is a wonderful man,

but we're just dating.

Though he is hard to resist.

Did you know he's bringing sexy back?

I wasn't aware it had left.

- But you should know... - He's not after my money,

if that's what you're worried about.

Well, I...

He told me all about his financial problems.

How he borrowed money from you,

and he was embarrassed when he paid you back late.

- He told you all that? - We have no secrets, Hank.

Well, maybe I kept one or two.

Yeah, he may have also.

You know what? My last name is reserved.

Would you excuse me a second?

I don't know how I can make it clearer.

That table is reserved for someone else.

Yes. And let me make this very clear.

I don't get that table, I'm talking to your manager.

Uh, is everything okay here?

- Yeah. Hi, Hank. - Hi.

I heard you were having lunch over here,

And I thought maybe I would join you for coffee.

I was asking for an extra chair.

I've got a busy day. I'm gonna get going.

Thanks for meeting me, Ms. Newberg.

So great to see you.

What are you going to do with that?

I want to send this to a lab in the city

To look for newly identified gene mutations

that could be pertinent to your situation.

And if they find them?

Well, then, we'll know which direction to head in.

There are a number of places doing good work in this area.

Open up, please.

U.C. San Diego, Berlin, Buenos Aires.

How strangely refreshing.

There's one study by your research contact in Cuba,

Dr. Casseras, that seems particularly promising.

But I've had a difficult time reaching her.

Yes.

Okay, well, I'll let you know as soon as I hear back.

All right. Thank you, Hank.

Oh, my God, that's him.

That's crazy, he's at my house. Okay, try not to gush.

Uh, I don't think I will.

I was talking to myself.

This is awesome. This is awesome.

Hi.

Hello.

Just as you described.

Uh, Evan R. Lawson.

I'm the CFO of HankMed, llc.

Oh. Faith N. Green, Esquire.

CEO of Garbage Collector Productions, llp.

Wow. Welcome.

I believe you've met Donald?

Yes, we have met.

Hello, sir. How are you?

- How you doing, man? - Welcome.

Hey, Donald, good to see you again.

Hey, doc.

This is Divya Katdare, my physician assistant.

- Ma'am. - So how can I help you?