Undead Murder Farce (アンデッドガール・マーダーファルス)

The Immortal and the Oni

Episode Three

How does everything taste?

It's quite delicious.

I didn't know what I would've done if we were served fresh blood.

I was gonna try and say my granny's will forbade me to have any.

But you do mainly consume blood?

We do.

If we don't have blood regularly, we lose energy.

That being said, we no longer consume human blood.

Ms. Rindo, do you not need to eat?

Don't mind me.

Even if I'd like to eat, I'm afraid that I cannot.

I've put on a few pounds lately, you see.

Master, stop.

I totally just spit my bread out.

Father, can we really leave this matter to them?

It's true that they're a bit odd,

but they've been logical about the investigation.

They go beyond "a bit odd."

I don't really think we can trust them either.

Not to mention, they tried to put one over on the carriage driver.

W-Were you there?

Yeah.

I heard the sound of a carriage,

so I hid nearby, hoping to get a look at the detectives.

On top of the crumbling tower, right?

Y-You saw me?

He's like a vampire.

Anyway, I believe they are capable detectives.

Capable detectives, huh?

Oh, no thank you...

If you ask me, they seem like cheap con artists.

Er...

By the way, Ms. Severed Head, how did you know about Natalie earlier?

That's quite simple. I could tell by looking at your clothes.

Who's Natalie?

That severed head mentioned that

the driver had stopped drinking because his wife yelled at him.

Your vest...

Around the stomach, the color is faded and the seams are worn.

It must get soiled frequently, and your wife scrubs it clean every time.

You have a habit of spilling food on your clothes.

Usually, adults only do that when they're severely drunk.

Your facial hair is unkempt, but the collar of your shirt is clean,

and some of the buttons have been replaced.

That suggests your wife regularly irons and mends it.

Your vest appears to have been last washed about a week ago,

but there don't seem to be any new stains around your stomach.

Which would mean that you haven't had a drink in a week.

But why?

Because someone sternly told you to stop drinking.

For example, a scrupulous housewife sick of having to wash

her drunken husband's dirty clothes.

She seems attentive and rather lovely.

You should treasure her.

I will...

That's amazing.

You remind me of that famous detective from London.

I think his name was Charles... No, Cielo...

Sherlock Holmes.

That's it.

I'm quite flattered to be compared to the great Mister Holmes.

Though I must say, I'm not as much of a genius as he is.

Have you ever met him?

No, I have not met him in person.

I hope I never meet him, in fact.

I hear he's quite the weirdo.

Now then, Lord Godard, there are a few things I'd like for you to tell me.

What might that be?

It's about the night Madame Hannah was murdered.

The body was discovered just past 1:30 AM, correct?

Did you have lunch around midnight that day, as well?

Yes, with everyone in the mansion.

When did you finish your meal?

I believe around 12:30.

About an hour before the body was found, then.

What did she do after she was done with her meal?

As usual,

she said she was going to rest for a bit in her room.

I went up to the study on the second floor,

and was chatting with Claude.

Did any of you see Madame Hannah after your meal?

So you were with Claude after the meal?

Y-Yes. We were talking about the management of the town.

Charlotte tagged along. She was playing with her dolls.

When 1:00 AM came around, Claude and I left the study together

and parted ways in the entry hall.

I always go out hunting on Mondays at that hour.

So I went to the storage room to get my rifle.

Nothing seemed amiss there at the time.

Which suggests the weapon was taken, and your wife attacked, after that.

So it would seem.

Not a minute after I left the mansion,

Raoul said that he wanted to go look at plants, so he tagged along.

He was with me the whole time in the forest.

I fired my rifle three times, but I failed to hit my target even once.

What? You didn't hit anything then?

What do you mean?

Well, I heard the three gunshots go off deep in the forest.

Deep in the forest... How curious.

By the way, where did you go after you parted ways with Lord Godard?

I returned to my room and was by myself.

I left Charlotte with Giselle.

She wouldn't shut up about wanting to sing.

Understood. Let's move on.

Raoul, what were you doing during the thirty minutes after you finished eating,

but before you went hunting?

Why are you asking me that?

You're questioning us because you suspect us, is that it?

Ms. Rindo, don't tell me you think one of us killed Hannah.

Yes, that is what I believe.

I-Impossible... That's just absurd.

Well, Raoul. Would you care to enlighten me?

If you can't tell me, I'll have to assume that there's quite a reason.

I'm the opposite of my brother. I was in my room until one.

But I was with my father when the murder happened,

so I'm not the murderer.

But there's a bit of a time gap between when Lord Godard checked the storage room

and when you exited the mansion.

Vampires may be fast, but we can't commit a murder in a minute.

By the way, while you were in your room, did you hear any noises?

No, not at all.

I see. Thank you very much. Next, Ms. Giselle.

Y-Y-Yes, ma'am?

Where did you go, and what did you do, after lunch ended at 12:30 AM?

I-I cleaned up the kitchen, a-and then went to the laundry room at 1:00 AM.

That's what I do every day.

On my way, I ran into those two.

Miss Lottie seemed bored, so I sang her some songs while I did the laundry.

So from 1:00 AM until the body was discovered,

you were with Miss Charlotte the whole time?

I believe that I went to the bathroom once.

But that only took a minute or two. Otherwise, I was with Miss Charlotte.

I see.

Miss Charlotte, is that true?

Yes.

Very good. Thank you.

Next, Mr. Alfred.

Where did you go, and what did you do, after the meal?

I went down to the office in the basement and was adjusting the master's schedule.

Other than that, nothing.

Which means you were by yourself the whole time.

Indeed, that is correct.

Did you hear any noise when you were in that room?

No, not at all.

Thank you very much.

This means that we've managed to narrow down the ones without an alibi

after 1:00 AM to two people...

Mister Alfred and Claude.

I-I would never!

Give me a break.

Ms. Rindo! There's no way that Claude would kill his mother.

Alfred can't be the killer, either!

He's not the sort of human that would engage in hunting.

Lord Godard, I'm fairly certain I explained this earlier.

There are far too many factors that make it highly implausible

that this was done by an outsider.

Yes, but...

Miss Charlotte!

Thanks for the meal.

It's strange that you can sorta plop animal blood onto a dish like that

and have it looking like some expensive cuisine.

The Japanese do say that blood is thicker than saltwater fish,

so it might actually be tasty.

It's "thicker than water." And the phrase involves "koi."

Koi? I can't say that I recommend eating koi. They're very... fishy.

Honestly, once you get on a roll, you never know when to quit.

Shizuku, say something.

Please jump in a pond and feed yourself to the koi.

S-So cold... and unkind.

By the way, Master, how goes the investigation?

Logical deductions made based upon the facts

have revealed two mutually contradictory factors.

Thus, my scrutiny continues.

That was as clear as mud.

Exactly, it's as clear as mud to me. You're keeping up so well!

But you talked like you knew everything earlier.

That was mostly to buy us time.

Anyway, Shizuku.

Yes, Lady Aya.