Twice Upon a Yesterday (The Man with Rain in His Shoes)

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Well? Nervous?

Good luck!

God, I can't wait till it's over.

Thanks!

You'll be fine. Just chill.

Just don't let the occasion get to you.

Hey, good luck with tomorrow.

Thanks, Ann.

You will be there, won't you?

Of course I will.

It's not every day

that one of my trainees gets married.

I've got to hurry up. Got so much to do.

Good luck. Don't be late.

I'm sure it's him that's gonna be late.

Hi. Hello, sir.

I really need some flowers.

Those will be great. How much is that?

$3.50.

$3.50. Here's a 5. Wait.

Oi.

All right? Here.

Here's the tape.

It's good. You'll like that one.

Here you go.

Good luck. You'll need it.

Sylvia!

Wait.

You can't marry him.

Look, there's something really important

that you've got to know about this guy.

He's already married.

I saw him coming out of "relate" the other day.

If you marry him, you're a bigamist.

Come on, Vic.

You can do better than this.

Yesterday he was a terrorist,

the day before, a drug dealer.

Who do you think I am?

All right, he's not a terrorist,

but, look, you still can't marry him.

Give me one good reason.

Because I love you.

Vic, you don't love me.

You love the fool

who used to tidy up behind you,

lick your boots,

stay up half the night

listening to your pathetic delusions of grandeur...

who you dumped for that actress, remember?

Well, I'm not that fool anymore, thank God.

Look, that was a mistake.

The worst mistake

I've ever made in my whole life.

I didn't mean it.

I was stupid.

I was immature. I was...

OK. You were a bastard.

I'm gonna marry Dave,

and there's nothing you can do or say

to stop me.

Sylvia, I've changed.

I promise you I've changed.

Bastard.

You mustn't listen to him.

He's just putting on an act.

He's an actor, remember?

A pretty bad one.

I know.

Look...

I'm gonna tell you something I haven't told you before

because I didn't want to hurt you.

Victor is the worst thing that ever happened to you.

Such a phony.

Allie, you're talking about the man

I spent 6 years of my life with.

I was very happy...

Most of the time.

It's just that I loved him too much.

Remember, it was him who dumped you

for another girl.

It was a terrible mistake.

I didn't say getting involved with Carol

was a terrible mistake.

What was a terrible mistake was telling Sylvia.

At least I was honest.

She's gone.

She's not coming back, you know?

Mate, it's not the end of the world.

Plenty more fish in the sea.

I mean, look.

Hey, do you know who this guy is?

No.

He is Victor bukowski,

a very, very well-known actor.

He's got a nice hairy neck.

There, you see?

Says you've got a nice hairy neck.

She's in the bag.

Hi! There he is.

You're so lucky.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Allie, how are you doing?

I'm fine.

Sweetheart.

It's great to see her so happy.

She's been talking about you all day.

Allie.

I gotta go.

I'll see you guys tomorrow...

At church!

Bye! Bye!

Hello, babe.

Look, Vic, we all make mistakes.

But we learn from them,

and we get over them.

You can't dwell on the past for the rest of your life.

Victor bukowski.

It's Sean daltrey here, your agent.

Who the fuck do you think you are,

Marlon fucking Brando?

You, my friend, are going down the pan.

Listen, don't ask me how,

but I managed to get you some work.

It's a Sci-Fi film called

it's called the return of killing silhouettes.

You got 3 lines.

You gotta be down there Monday, 5 A.M.,

and for Christ's sake, bukowski,

don't argue with the director this time.

This job is your last fucking chance, OK?

And by the way, you're a martian.

My ex-girlfriend.

She's getting married tomorrow.

Is she?

Yeah.

We were together for 6 years and 25 days.

And now she's getting married

to somebody else.

She's marrying this other guy tomorrow?

That's a photograph of her.

She's a beautiful girl.

She's beautiful, isn't she?

And now she's gonna go marry some other guy.

I'm madly in love with her and she left me 8 months ago.

You ever do something so terrible

that you'd give anything in the world to put it right?

Are you drinking from a guilty conscience

or because you still love her?

You don't drink on a guilty conscience

after, like, 8 months.

You wanna be sure.

What's the saying?

2 wrongs don't make a right.

So what stops you two

from getting back together then?

Just the fact

that she's getting married to somebody else tomorrow.

Some asshole that she met in a gym.

I mean, can you imagine

marrying somebody that you met in a gym?

Where did she first meet you?

In a psychiatric hospital.

No, I was...

Working in the cafe there,

and she was a student.

So what kind of person do you meet

in a psychiatric hospital?

Loser.

Some actor who thinks he's Marlon fucking Brando.

An actor? Wow.

Yeah, unemployed actor.

Really?

I'm surprised,

'cause you've got a very interesting face.

No, I don't.

No, you do, you do.

I can spot a charismatic face from a mile out.

Well, apparently,

I don't have a very charismatic mouth.

No, I argue too much.

Did you used to argue with her, too?

No.

We had something really special,

you know?

Yeah.

Something special.

Why do we always think

we've found something special,

something unrepeatable,

your one and only true love?

And you always end up telling

the same old story.

So...

Did you at least have the guts to tell her

or did she find out?

No, I told her.

I'd been seeing this girl Carol