Kenan

-Yeah, yeah. -Hey!

Oh, yeah--

What's going on?

I thought you loved the pancake song.

-I did when I was little. -Little?

Girl, you just lost a tooth last week.

Ah, she chipped it playing softball.

-She chipped it? -I said, "Head's up."

The tooth is gone, Rick.

Um, Dad, you don't need to pick me up from school today.

I'm going to Atlantic Station with my friends.

I'm sorry. You're going to who, what to do where now?

Don't make this a thing. We're just gonna go get boba.

Ooh, I love boba.

Pick me up a mango milk tea with extra balls in it.

Can I get in on that?

If Evan's there, just tell him to give you the "Rick."

If Sharla's there, do not mention my name.

We got issues. -Hey!

She's not bringing y'all back anything

because she's not going.

Please? You can trust me. I'm almost 12.

No, no. It's not about that.

It's just there's a lot of things out in the world

that I don't think you're ready for.

I mean, what if you get lost? Or snatched?

Or one of your friends pressures you

into trying the vape juice?

Uh, can I get some vape juice?

Your pancakes are kind of dry.

You see what you're doing to your sister?

You see? You're confusing your sis--

No. No vape juice and no boba balls, all right?

Come on, we supposed to be having a good time.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Man, I'm going to Waffle House.

Ooh, will you bring me back

some of those smothered hash browns?

And if Mary's there,

tell her the whole thing's over with Sharla.

Well, guys, I want to tell you how amazing your ideas are.

But they're all trash.

I thought Phil's antique-doll-collecting pitch

was intriguing.

Oh, you mean Hester?

Um, hey, look...

Phil, I'm telling you this as a friend, man.

Get rid of that thing before it drags you to hell.

I keep throwing her away,

but she keeps finding her way back.

That's my point exactly.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Oh, this is Aubrey's school calling.

All right, well, I guess we'll put Phil

and creepy-ass Hester on the board as a maybe.

What?

Okay, as a yes. As a yes!

Yes, yes, hello. Is everything okay?

Absolutely fine, Mr. Williams.

I'm just calling to let you know

that Aubrey got her period.

My Aubrey? Aubrey W.?

You sure it's not Aubrey S.?

Aubrey S. is a boy.

Damn you, precocious puberty.

I knew I should've bought the hormone-free chicken,

but the wings are so small.

Uh, chickens don't cause periods, sir.

Oh, I beg to differ.

And there's also an adult-content element

that can get pretty racy.

Tell me more of this, uh, adult content.

Gary, what are you doing?

Standing in for Kenan. Turns out it's just in time.

I was just pitching a segment on Key-Whole,

that new website where creators

put up personalized content for their fans.

Sites like that are hella popular.

Tyga showed his junk on OnlyFans,

and people went nuts.

"Went nuts."

Stop being so hilarious, Pam.

All right, so fans ask creators

to do specific acts for money?

Hmm, we could do a debate on the pros and cons of that.

B-b-but what's there to debate?

People should be free to do any nasty thing they want to

online for the schmoney.

This is America, damn it!

Okay, there are negatives, right?

I wanted to make a little boat money,

so I thought I would do birthday greetings for my fans.

But people kept asking me to do wet mouth sounds.

Really?

I mean, ew.

My point is, some people feel liberated and empowered

by the financial freedom,

but others feel pressure to porn it up.

And some people are just haters hating...

Tam Tam.

Well, Gary, if you're so sure that there's no downside,

why don't you become a Key-Wholer

and talk about it on the show? -Hmm, maybe I will.

I am into financial freedom.

You know what? I'm gonna pour everything I have into this.

Oh, my friend on Key-Whole

pours all kinds of stuff on himself--

Milk, honey, fondue.

Oh, that one burned him pretty bad,

but people pay extra for that.

I guess he turned that fondue into fon-dollars.

Am I right?

Oh, my damn! My damn.

Hey, Aubrey.

Hi, Dad.

How's my little baby doing?

Well, I guess you're not a baby anymore, huh?

I left work early to get you everything you need.

I got your wings, your pads, your cups, your pearls,

a hot water bottle, prayer candle--

That's actually for me--

And, oh, Epsom salts.

See, my grandma used to say, "It cures what ails you."

Except for that runaway tractor.

Oh, rest well, Big Momma.

Why does she get all this stuff?

Hmm, don't worry about it, Birdie.

This is woman business.

Papa Rick says I act like a wild woman. Does that count?

Uh, baby, you want to go play Roblox?

Does a wild woman pee in the backyard?

Well, she really shouldn't.

Is that why we got patchy grass?

Use the potty, Birdie!

Oh, man.

Look at you.

Growing up on me.

You feeling okay? -Yeah.

I'm mostly just bummed that I won't be able

to swim in the ocean without getting attacked by a shark.

Price of being a woman.

Well, what do you say that you and I

go to a special little dinner?

I'm always up for some Outback.

Yeah, Blooming Onion for my blooming young-un.

Oh. I'm gonna need a minute.

She housed, like, three whole onions by herself.

But I did read that dropping eggs makes you hungry.

What? Where did you read that nonsense?

Reddit.

Are you saying that Reddit could be wrong?

Anyway, I'm glad y'all had a nice night.

First periods can be a bit traumatizing.

When I got mine, my parents left a box of pads

outside my door with a note--

"You're grown now. Get a job."

-Oh, that's sad. -Yeah.

But Aubrey was perfectly fine

sharing all the details with me.

-She was? -Yeah, it's a crazy story.

She was fighting with her friend Tara in math class,

and then the teacher called her up to the board.

And as she's walking up,

Tara noticed a spot on her pants but didn't say anything.

But before she could turn around,

the teacher stopped her,

and now her and Tara aren't friends.

Yeah. How'd you know that?

Does that happen to all women?

I'm sorry. Reddit didn't cover this.

No, that's exactly what happened on "This is Us."

What are you saying?

Aubrey didn't get her period. She lied to you.

She lied?

And she's weaponizing Sterling K. Brown against me?

Oh, that will not do. -Ooh, she in trouble.

Knock-a-doodle-doo.

So how's the flow?

It's fine. Can I help you?

No, just checking on you.

Mm, everything okay with the stuff I got you?

'Cause, uh, it doesn't look like you opened any of it.

Um, yeah.

My friend Tara let me borrow some at school today.

Oh, your friend Tara,

who I've never met before

and I've never heard mention of before yesterday?

Yep, that's her.

Aubrey, you got something you want to tell me?

Nope, everything's fine.

Although I did want to ask again if I could go

to Atlantic Station with my friends since I'm a woman now.

Mm-hmm.

Atlantic Station with the friends.

Oh, yeah. Big smile now.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, oh, they're saying they want some squats.

-Okay. -Yeah. Yeah, sell it.

Ooh, he's a crowd pleaser.

You're averaging a dollar a squat.