The Venture Bros.

Hey, Monarch!

- Huh? Yeah, yeah - I'm taking your... car!

"24!"

24!

No!

No!

Agent Samson! Agent Samson, can you hear me?

Medic! I need a medic over here!

Heartrate's dropping. We gotta get that...

shrapnel out of him now!

It's huge. I need more suction here

He's flatlining. Stay with us, Samson!

Oh, you are a squirmy one, Venture.

Sit still.

Hank... Hank? Do you have it? Over.

- "Yeah, it's a clean shot." - Good! Hold it there.

Dean? Come in, Dean.

- "What?" - Did you stab him to death yet?

"No, I didn't. I lost my knife again."

"Because I hate it. I'm gonna take my shot now."

I have it figured out that if I can just skim pop's belt buckle

maybe the bullet will ricochet off it and kill the guy with the gun.

Hank, I will give you so much money to not shoot your dad.

"I don't wanna do this, Mr. Hatred."

I'm not giving you a choice here! You gotta stab Hitler!

- I can't! - "All right, ya forced my hand."

"HELPeR, come in HELPeR."

"HELPeR, murder Hitler."

Down boy! Down! Down! Heel!

Giant Boy Detective, no! Come back!

Dean! Don't look at it!

Shut your eyes, Dean!

Don't look at it, no matter what happens!

It's beautiful!

You're getting face all over me! Hot melting face!

I did it...

Yep, I hit every light with one bullet.

Ow!

Hello? Anyone?

"Well, what the hell do we do with the big lug when he wakes up?"

"We put him back to work."

"The guy's a damn traitor. He quit the agency!"

"Top brass thinks there's still some use for him"

if he can be persuaded to curtail certain anti-social behaviors.

What're they thinkin'? The old brain drain?

- Full memory wipe? - No. That brain of his has got

20 years worth of news we can use.

He just needs a little attitude adjustment.

Wakey wakey, Mr. Hatred.

It's time to make all those little naked boys in your head go bye bye

"Stop him!"

Bring him back to room 2-2-7 and strap him down.

Oh, Samson. What're you doing out of bed...

- Oh, hey! - What'd you bastards do to me?

You were dying! We saved your life!

Why, so I could be one of your zombies?

I know the kind of... you do on this level.

Sick bay was full of wounded! We had nowhere else to bring you!

What the hell did you do to me?

Just relax, Samson. Let us take care of you.

Oh, god!

- Please... don't kill me! - I'm not.

No! No, HELPeR!

Whatever you do, do not engage your helicopter blades!

You'll kill us both!

No, I won't. Just trust me.

Hank, you take out the lights. I'll get the Nazis.

I mean, if Oswald can squeeze off three hot slugs in six seconds

old Hatred can drop evil Nazis in half that time.

Is it me, or does every Nazi wanna clone Hitler?

It's like the only thing they think of.

Seems that way, right?

I guess when everybody hates you, ya fixate on making rotten Hitlers.

How can you say that about Hitler?

I love Hitler! And Hitler loves me! He's not all bad.

Hitler just needs someone to believe in him!

- Can't you just give Hitler a chance? - Dean! Hitler is a mass murderer!

He's pure evil! And you have to kill him!

I won't destroy the only thing I've ever loved!

I won't kill Hitler! Never ever!

- You might want to look at your face. - Oh, come on!

I shoulda asked RuPaul to paint my camo face!

I'll kill Hitler! I've killed hundreds of Nazis before.

Many of them with a grenade launcher.

Medal of Honor, Heroes II. I can also blow up a submarine.

He must be killed with this golden dagger.

And only after the cleansing of fire.

And Dean is the only one he'll let get close enough to do it.

All right, everybody out. I gotta wipe.

Good Lord, have you been using the toilet under there

- this whole time? - We are at war with Hitler again!

This is how it's done on the front lines, soldier!

Hank, hand me that magazine!

We're out of TP.

"Hey... Mister? News flash from the situation room."

"We're outta toilet paper."

You told me you hadda make number one, not number two, kid.

Well, I don't speak your special spy code talk!

Come on, dude. Don't make me do the crab walk here.

Fine, kid. Where do you keep the... tickets in this dump?

"The linen closet. Right down the hall."

- "Hurry!" - Jeez, deliver me from 1978.

"Did you find it?"

No, but I think I found your dad's time machine.

Dammit, HELPeR,

if I wasn't afraid it might stop my heart, I would shut you down.

"'Don't take another step,' said Giant Boy Detective, urgently."

"'The floor is booby-trapped!'"

"'How do you know?' asked Suzy...""

All right, Wishbone. Why don't you give Giant Boy Detective a rest?

You're givin' me a migraine here.

I only have five more chapters to go.

It'd be a whole lot more fun if you read Suzy's parts.

"'Gosh,' said Suzy,"

"'How did you know it was the rancher all along?'"

"'Simple, Suzy,' thundered Giant Boy Detective,"

"his freakishly loud voice echoing off the walls of the old mine."

"'Cow patties don't sparkle."

"That was gold dust on his boots!'"

"The end." Happy now?

Wow. I did not see that coming.

Brock! I know you couldn't quit us!

They can't know that I'm here.

HELPeR! I knew you couldn't quit us!

You gotta be quiet. I don't have much time.

Now where is everybody?

Hank's in the bathroom with Mr. Doe or something.

Pop's getting yelled at by a bunch of your old friends.

Samson! What the dog-dammit are you doing back?

- Brock, are you 'on the lam'? - No time to explain. Here.

Give this to your dad for me. I gotta go.

Wait. Are you taking HELPeR with you?

Yeah, Dean. I'm afraid I gotta borrow him for a while.

Then here. Take my hoverbike.

You keep it, Dean. And tell your brother... I don't know.

Tell him to "stay gold" or you write something.

You're good with words.

Had a total cray-pas situation up there. Took me a while to lock it down.

Whoa? What happened to these guys?

What did you bore them to death?

Brock. He was just here. You missed him.

Yeah. And what, he whisked away up the chimney

with a thumb of his nose?

Wait! I think I hear hoofsteps up on the roof!

That's the X-1! Maybe Brock's back!

You hear that, Giant Boy Detective? Brock's home!

His name isn't Giant Boy Detective.

And Dad said he has to go.

Giant Boy Detective isn't going anywhere.

H. E. Double hockey sticks! It's the X-1 alright.

"But that sure ain't Brock."

What the hell did you do to my jet?

You, sir, are lucky I returned it.

No, you're lucky it has a homing autopilot function!

What is going on? Who are these idiots?

This is my LARP crew, The Orchard Street Wolf Pack.

They are here to keep the peace.

Now step aside. I have business to attend to.

Finally. Look what they did to my jet.

I think the Monarch's boys did that.

Whatever! Just... I don't know. Kill these guys or something.

What you got there? Foam swords?

- We made them ourselves. - Mine's a battle axe.

Look, I'm sorry!

But I'm in deep doo-doo with this whole cloning thing.

The OSI's on my ass, and now I have these other nut-bags

making me clone their dead hero "or else."

I don't care. I gave you a priceless family heirloom and you deceived me.

Now good day!

"I've come to seek council with the necromancer in your village."

But you're a necromancer. That's what necromancers do.

That is the definition of necromancer.

Well, yes, technically. But the term is used loosely these days.

Magician, wizard, warlock...

they sound rather goofy. Necromancer is all we've got left.

- Omelet? - You can't do anything?

I'm sorry, I can't hel...

What is that racket?

Drop it! Drop it, boy! Drop! Drop it!

He's been in my reliquary chest!

I'm sorry! My dad wanted to kill him!

I was gonna hide him here!

He has the holy arm of Saint Moses the Black of Scete!

Where did he even find it?

This dog has a great evil in him.

That is learned behavior. That's the owner's fault usually.

You have to show them that you're the alpha male.

Not even the great Cesar Milan could whisper this hell hound!

Dean, give me your funny pages!

Bad news, Dean. Your dog is the spawn of hell

and you must kill him.

Why does everybody want to kill my dog?

Because he carries the soul of evil.

I must prepare the ritual of cleansing!

I totally wish that guy lived next to me.

Seriously cool.

- And his daughter is pretty. - Bonus...

Hey... what comic book were you reading?

"I've done all that I can"

"but he's highly unstable in this state."