The Sopranos

John Gotti, life in prison...

No chance of parole.

We've seen prosecutions in Florida and elsewhere of top mob figures.

What are you doing? Put that back.

What's the situation on the ground today, right now, in the mob?

Confusion, instability, vacuum at the top.

- What caused the decline? - Your sister's ass.

An aggressive government policy over two decades...

To behead the crime families.

But wasn't it, at least in part...

A disregard within the mob itself...

Of the rules that served the old dons so well?

- If the shoe fits. - No doubt.

Sil. Cheer me up, babe.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

Is that Pacino or is that Pacino? Spitting image.

- Vincent Rizzo. - Yes.

Former soldier in the Genovese family.

Government witness turned best-selling author.

Do you agree with U.S. Attorney Braun?

The party's over.

- He is a wiseguy. Elaborate. - It's not like it was.

- Cloning. - Mexicans are huge in that.

- Fascinating. - Because they work as parking valets.

Do I mean that organized crime...

Will go the way of the dodo bird?

- What the fuck are you talking about? - Mexicans.

- What about them? - Cell phones.

I'm not talking about cloning cell phones.

I'm talking about fucking sheep! Science.

I tell my kids, "only God can make a life."

A guy here asks, "what if they had cloned Princess Di?"

But you know, the heyday? You know, the golden age...

Or whatever, of the mob?

That's gone.

And that's never coming back.

They have only themselves to blame.

They pay this chiacchierone by the word?

Drug trafficking.

I think it ruined everything.

You're looking at a mandatory 35 to life in prison.

Guys started to rat on each other so they could avoid prosecution.

What's going on with that Princess Di?

Do you think the royal family had her whacked?

Last time I take a limo in Paris.

Like you were ever in Paris.

I went for a blowjob.

Your mother was working the bonbon concession at the Eiffel Tower.

You hear what I told him? "I went over for a blowjob.

Your mother was working at the Eiffel Tower."

I got a list of people I wouldn't want cloned.

The mayor of New York, that's the guy least likely to get cloned.

So the code of silence, the omerta, or whatever, just went by the boards.

You're always gonna have organized crime. Always.

As long as the human being has certain appetites...

For gambling, pornography or whatever...

Someone's always gonna surface to serve these needs. Always.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

- You got DVD players? - Don't hurt me.

Only people who get hurt are the jerk-offs.

Now step down, nice and easy.

He's got the DVD players.

Quick and painless. Don't wanna hurt you.

You gotta tie me up.

- You gonna be a jerk-off? - My boss'll think I'm in on it.

We look like we want a merit badge? We travel with rope?

I've got some in the cab. Please, I need this job.

Okay, get the rope.

I don't know who gave the route, but there's no way I'd go unscathed...

- Without being fired. - You want to be scathed?

So it looks like I didn't give up without a struggle.

That's cool. Thank you.

That's enough.

No, wait.

That's good!

- Scathed? - Scathed.

He's scathed.

Mr. Miller, my science teacher, he got his car stolen.

You're kidding. From where? His house?

His parking spot at school.

A Saturn. He only had it a year.

The security people are a joke.

Did you hear what A.J. Just said? Mr. Miller's car got stolen.

Refresh my memory. Who is he?

He's your son's science teacher.

You're up early.

He just bought that car a year ago.

So? Insurance will pay.

They don't give full value.

These poor teachers, they don't make a lot.

So he can work his summer vacation.

You could help find it.

I thought I told you I changed my name from LoJack to Soprano.

Laugh. I'd pee in my pants.

Pussy's got the body shop. He couldn't ask?

I'm late.

- What are you getting in science? - D-plus.

- See what I can do. - That's not what I meant.

He's gotta work for his grades.

I'm going back to bed.

- Bye, dad. - See you later.

Here, eat this.

Technology comes to the Bing!

Hey, where you been?

- Come on. - Let's go.

- Hey, is the load here? - Yeah.

If serge calls, I'll be back.

These new phones, hold, conference, sometimes I get confused.

How complicated is it? Answer the phone, take the message.

Voice mail only comes on if you let it ring.

Jesus Christ, Georgie.

I hear there's not as many titles as on laser.

There's more coming.

My internist said the picture's not that different.

But the sound, way improved.

Good. Nothing beats popping up some Orville Redenbacher and listening to Men in Black.

- Fuck it! - It's the damn wires, that's all!

I'll hook it up. I used to be an installer.

Why can't you be nice to Brendan?

We discussed that.

I was gonna come looking. It's the guy.

It's serge?

I'll take it over there.

Serge?

Press "hold" when you transfer a call.

I'm sorry, Tony.

Now he's not gonna call back.

Brendan's a good earner, T. This Jack was his plan.

He's a good kid, but I don't like meth.

Fuck, I gotta call my mother.

- Hello? - Hello, ma?

Oh, look who calls.

- How you doing? - I was wondering when you'd call.

You can stop wondering now. This is it, I'm calling you.

I called yesterday. You were supposed to call me back.

I phoned your house.

Some operator answered. I couldn't understand a word she was saying.

That's not an operator, that's an answering machine.

Oh, fancy, fancy.

Here, let me turn the heat off under these mushrooms.

You and mom are like peas in a pod.

She can't master the phone, but she's 70. What's your excuse?

What is she doing now?

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. - Ma!

Hey, ma!

- Oh, my God! - Ma!

Where is she?

- Who is this? - It's Anthony!

The mushrooms, they're on fire!

Get the fire extinguisher under the sink!

Oh, my God! The wall's getting all black!

Ma, hang up and call 911.

The guy's on the second line.

- Aren't you coming over? - You press "hold," goddamn it.

I can't, I'm 40 minutes away.

You hang up and you call 911. Leave the house.

Look at how I live!

Ma, hang up and call 911.

- Hello? - My mother's got a fire in the kitchen.

- Oh, my God. - She's calling 911. Get over there.

- I'm on my way. - Thank you, baby. I know you're busy.

Serge, serge.

I can't talk now.

I gotta go to an outside line. Give me your number.

All right. I'll call you back.

Is your mom okay?

Shit cannot go on like this.

Hey, T. Hey, T.

This teacher, his car, you got a plate number?

Call my wife.

- Have a nice day. - Thanks.

No problem.

Ma, I wish you'd let me get somebody to help you.

- You shouldn't be alone. - Help me what?

- With the housework. - I have my ways.

A stranger could care less about doing it right.

Can I tell you something though, ma? You need company.

Don't start with that nursing-home business again.

This is not a nursing home. It is a retirement community.

You want me to make you pastina? Something in your stomach?

Ma, now, I've told Tony...

And I've told you many times.

You can come live with us.

I know when I'm not wanted!

I invited you to share my home. If you want me to beg, that's different.

Leave this place that my husband and I shared?

Well, change can be a positive.

He was a Saint.

That son of mine, is he still having those fits?

They're not fits, ma. They're anxiety attacks.

You know, he's on medication.

What BMW's charging us for paint?

- It's been that way for six months. - When was I last here?

Hey.

We maybe caught a break.

Watchung Avenue said some guys brought a Saturn...

Trying to load it for parts.

Are you saying this car's for Tony and leave it all in one piece?

Yeah, sure. It's for the kid's teacher.