Nobody's Fool

Hey, babe. Morning.

I just wanted to give you a wake-up call.

Hi, Charlie. Thanks.

Love you.

I love you too, babe.

Have a great day.

Alexa, play "Miss You Much."

"Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson.

Danica, you got this.

Thank you. Hey.

- Morning. - Busy today.

It's a normal Monday.

- Got you right here. - Frank, here.

Your money's no good here.

You gotta stop doing this. I have to pay.

- Says who, Danica? - Says me.

You're gonna lose your business.

- Here. - And the rose. I told you I...

That you have a boyfriend.

I'm well aware.

See you tomorrow.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Thank you.

Another day, another rose from your coffee shop man.

I keep telling him I have a boyfriend.

Yeah, well, don't tell him your boyfriend lives, like, a thousand miles away.

Frank has been trying to take you out for, like, three years.

Go out with him.

I'm not attracted to him in the least.

Can we stop talking about this?

I need the right headspace for this meeting.

Thank you.

Look at this tiny, adorable box.

This is the new perfume by Heather Day.

It's called "The List."

And it comes with this teeny little scroll. Isn't it so cute?

And this feather and ink.

And it's for a woman to make a list of what she wants in a man.

Isn't that adorable?

And they'd like to market it as a single woman's fragrance. Hello.

They've asked us to come up with a campaign and a website.

Now, we don't have a lot of time on this, 'cause they're...

gonna fly in from Paris in just a week for the pitch.

So, I'm gonna need somebody strong on this one.

But I'm gonna give it to... Drumroll, please...

- Danica's team! -

Danica.

Ooh, congratulations.

How do you feel?

I don't wanna know.

You were not my first choice.

Just kidding. Am I?

Um, I don't think I need to tell you this, but this is obviously very important.

Yes, I know that. Thank you.

You know, your annual's coming up at the end of this month, isn't it?

I know how you wanna make senior VP, right?

And, you know, the board is always looking for a success story,

especially around review time.

How do you think I got this job?

And these jobs.

- Yeah. - Right?

Honestly, I should've gone a size bigger. Anyway...

I will not disappoint you.

All right, let's get to work.

Hi, Kalli.

Good morning.

Just because we're the only single ones in the group

does not mean we have a wish list.

Girl, I know.

Well, maybe you shouldn't have written yours on the company computer.

And maybe you shouldn't have written yours on the bathroom stall.

Girl, I got lBS.

Okay? I get bored.

Plus, I repainted it.

In nail polish?

And what's wrong with having a list, huh?

Did you know that my mother met my father after she wrote a list?

Everything she wrote on that thing,

my daddy, he was all of it.

Let me see yours again.

- Come on. - Okay.

Okay.

- Gimme, gimme, gimme. - Mm-hmm.

- "Tall, handsome... - Yes.

Great body,

good job, professional,

has never been to jail,

no baby-mama drama."

What if I told you that Charlie was everything on this list?

What if I told you how can you know that?

- - Yes?

Danica, your mother's on line two.

Thank you.

You spoke her up.

This should be good.

- Shh! - Go and answer it.

Hi, Mommy.

Hey, darling. Listen, I need your help.

It's your sister. She's getting out.

Mom...

Listen, I know you don't want me to think

that you think you're too good to give your family some help.

Especially not after everything I sacrificed to put you through college.

Mama, I know that.

- But... - Guilt trip.

- Shh! - You know, working two jobs,

having to put up with Buckwheat, and you know how Buckwheat is, you know?

And I have to say I did all that 'cause I love you girls.

You know? And I love your sister.

She's just... I don't know, she just...

It doesn't matter.

She's better now, thank God. And she's clean.

- Um, Mama, what do you need me to do? - Ah.

Darling, would you do me a favor? Would you please go and pick her up?

She asked me to come get her in my car, but my car's not doing so well.

If you could pick her up, I'd appreciate it.

No.

- What time? - What time?

Honey, it's jail. She's been in there five years.

You get there when you can, like the song said.

Okay, I'll pick her up after work.

And, uh, we'll be by your house by six.

The hell you bringing her to my house for?

Mommy!

Do you realize that the last time she stayed with me,

all my copper was gone?

I don't know how she got it out the wall.

I don't know how she got it out the toaster.

My QVC toaster, my favorite toaster.

That shit cost me $35,000 to fix.

You know what she made on that little bit of copper she got?

29.95.

- Now, that's a bitch. - You just said that she was clean.

I meant she was clean enough to go to your house.

See, 'cause you got an apartment. You don't have any copper.

Mom, but I do have a toaster.

Well, then lock your shit up, or that bitch will take everything.

Everything.

- Bye, baby. - I didn't say yes.

Your sister really coming to stay with you?

Looks that way.

- -

I don't know where Tanya is, and I done come all this way.

That's it, right there.

- I think Tanya got a ride already. - Now to the left!

- Eat it! - I'm not hungry.

Hey, Tanya!

- No condom forever. - What?

- Tanya! - Hey.

Oh, shit.

Hey, Sis! Hey, girl, hey.

Who the fuck is that?

- That's my sister. - Sister, how are you doing?

Hey, girl. Go on and smack that ass.

In nine months, you'll have a new nephew.

What? Boy, please.

- Okay, I'm going now. - Yeah, that's it.

That's it, right there.

Hey, now, don't leave me.

I still wanna ride home with y'all.

Girl, is that OJ?

I'm almost finished. Okay, to the left.

No, that's a white Bronco. I know that's OJ.

- Yeah, boy! - Girl, I don't care.

To the left! There you go, right there.

I still want to ride with you. Don't leave me, okay?

- Just give me a minute. We almost through. - When I come, you go...

What? Doesn't look like... Goddamn it!

- You gonna eat this. - I'm not hungry.

I'm a vegetarian.

- You a what? - I don't eat pork.

You gonna eat something today. This ain't pork. This is roast beef.

- Eat it! - Will you stop looking at them.

I can't help it. It's like watching a Love & Hip Hop reunion.

- Oh, my God. Are they fighting? - I don't know.

- Should we help them? - No, you gonna die tonight.

Someone should help him.

Shit.

Thought you was tearing something up.

I don't think so.

Here she come.

- -

Girl, this car is nice!

Thank you.

One of y'all got some hand sanitizer and some mouthwash?