Out Cold

HEY, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO BULL MOUNTAIN,

A SLICE OF HEAVEN

NESTLED IN THE CLEAVAGE OF ALASKA'S HIGH COUNTRY.

IT ALL STARTED WHEN A YOUNG BUCK NAMED HERBERT MUNTZ

SAW THE PROMISE OF A NEW LIFE

AND STAKED HIS CLAIM TO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY--

HE STOLE IT FROM THE ESKIMOS.

'ROUND THESE PARTS, HE BECAME KNOWN AS "PAPA."

EACH YEAR, PAPA WOULD SAY THANK YOU

BY DROPPIN' HIS BRITCHES

AND BLAZING DOWN THAT MOUNTAIN BARE-ASSED

IN ONE OF HIS FAMOUS "MOON-SHINE" RUNS.

PAPA LOVED TO SKI,

AND PAPA LOVED TO DRINK,

BUT MOST OF ALL, PAPA LOVED TO SKI AND DRINK...

AT THE SAME TIME!

LAST YEAR, HE DIED WITH HIS BOOTS ON...

BULL MOUNTAIN, DON'T GO CHANGIN'!

AND NOT MUCH ELSE.

NOWADAYS, PAPA'S BOY RUNS THE MOUNTAIN.

BUT US LOCALS STILL CARRY ON THE FREE-WHEELIN' SPIRIT

OF PAPA'S LIFE.

YOU COULD SAY

THAT THIS MOUNTAIN'S A LOT LIKE A WOMAN.

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERY INCH OF HER,

AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIP YOUR SKIS

INTO SOME SOFT, DEEP POWDER--BAM!

YOU GOT 2 BROKE LEGS, CRACKED RIBS,

THEN YOU PAY YOUR 20 BUCKS

JUST TO LET HER PUNCH YOUR LIFT TICKET ALL OVER AGAIN.

UHH!

* 1

* 2

* I'M GONNA GET IN MY CAR WITH A SMILE AND THE BURN *

* THAT I PUT ON MY ARM THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY, GIRL *

* AND I PROBABLY WON'T COME BACK AROUND AGAIN *

* I'M GONNA DRIVE ALL NIGHT *

* THROUGH THE RED LIGHTS, FLYING *

* OVER THE HILL, TO THE COUNTY LINE BLIND *

* FORGETTING TO FORGET THAT YOU'RE NOT MINE *

* KISS YOUR APOCALYPSE FOR THE LAST, LAST TIME *

* RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY AGAIN, FINE *

* ANYTIME YOU THINK YOU'VE CHANGED YOUR MIND *

* ANYTIME YOU WANT

* JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* COME BACK ONE MORE TIME ANYTIME *

* COME BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* COME BACK ONE MORE TIME ANYTIME *

* GOT NO TIME, REASON OR RHYME *

* NOT GONNA STOP, GONNA RIDE ALL NIGHT *

* GOT NO TIME, REASON OR RHYME *

* NOT GONNA STOP, GONNA RIDE... *

* ANYTIME * ALL NIGHT

* JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* JUMP BACK TO ME ANYTIME

* COME BACK ONE MORE TIME *

* KISS YOUR APOCALYPSE FOR THE LAST, LAST TIME *

* RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY AGAIN, FINE *

* KISS YOUR APOCALYPSE FOR THE LAST, LAST TIME *

* RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN, RUN, RUN *

* JUMP

* FOR THE LAST, LAST TIME

* JUMP

* UHH

* FOR THE LAST, LAST TIME

NEWS FLASH.

MUNTZ IS SELLING THE MOUNTAIN.

THE ENTIRE MOUNTAIN? YES.

WHY WOULD HE WANT TO GET RID OF THIS PLACE?

I LIKE THIS PLACE EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS.

Pig Pen: MAYBE THE BUYER CAN SUPPLY

THE MOUNTAIN WITH WHAT IT REALLY NEEDS--

HOT FRIGGIN' CHICKS.

WHOA, WHOA! HEY, GUYS. GUYS, YOU KNOW, MORE GIRLS?

LET'S GIVE LANCE A CHANCE, ALL RIGHT?

I GOTTA REFUEL THE TANKS.

Man: YO, JENNY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

Men: JENNY!

Jenny: HEY, WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

WHAT, ARE YOU DRINKING WITHOUT ME?

HEY, LANCE.

HEY, GIRLFRIEND. WHAT YOU DRINKIN'?

WHATEVER THE LADY WOULD LIKE, JUST, UH...

PUT IT ON MY TAB.

I WILL HAVE A BEER, THEN.

AND 5 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER, PLEASE.

RICK, YOU ARE AN IDIOT NOT TO GO FOR JENNY,

AND DON'T GIVE ME THIS BROKEN HEART RIGMAROLE.

ARE YOU SNIFFING ME?

Lance: THERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

YEP.

OH, MAN. IF I WAS HER,

I'D BE GETTIN' WITH

EVERY DUDE ON THIS MOUNTAIN.

HEY, BOYS.

HEY! YOU'RE KILLIN' ME!

CHEERS, EVERYBODY!

PEOPLE...

UH-OH.

AND PIG PEN,

MY POOR EXCUSE FOR A BROTHER,

OUR BOY RICK HERE

HAS BEEN BITCHING AND MOANING ALL WEEK LONG...

I HAVE NOT.

AND I THINK IT'S TIME THAT WE DO SOMETHING

TO CHEER HIM UP. DON'T YOU AGREE?

PERHAPS TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT

THAT WE CROWN THIS YEAR'S...

KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

DID SOMEBODY JUST SAY

KING OF THE MOUNTAIN, MOUNTAIN, MOUNTAIN?

Together: KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

KING OF THE MOUNTAIN. KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

Anthony: I KNOW YOU WANT TO DEFEND YOUR TITLE.

YEAH! OH, YEAH.

IF I MUST.

GOOD EVENING.

YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES OF KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

RULE NUMBER ONE--

YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

OOH! OOH!

RULE NUMBER 2-- THERE ARE NO RULES.

WHAT ABOUT RULE NUMBER ONE?

THAT'S MORE OF A GUIDELINE THAN A RULE.

DO N OT INTERRUPT!

OW!

AND NOW,

THE 3-PEAT CHAMPION OF KING OF THE MOUNTAIN,

RICK RAMBIS. RICHARD?

OK. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

EVERYONE MUST HAVE A BEER.

BEER? OK,

IT'S A RACE TO THE BOTTOM.

THE FIRST ONE TO THE STATUE OF PAPA MUNTZ

WITH THE MOST BEER IN YOUR GLASS--PIG PEN--

SHALL BE PROCLAIMED THIS YEAR'S KING OF THE MOUNTAIN.

AND, AS AN ADDED BONUS,

YOU ALSO WIN THE CONTENTS OF ERIC'S STOLEN WALLET,

WHICH ARE, LUKE?

2 BUCKS,

A CONDOM,

EXPIRATION DATE 1997,

AND A PICTURE OF HIS GRANDMA--NO!

THAT'S NANCY REAGAN. NANCY REAGAN.

Rick: BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY,

PUSHING, SHOVING, AND CHEATING ARE ENCOURAGED.

TRY NOT TO WIPE OUT LIKE YOU DID LAST YEAR

AND THE YEAR BEFORE,

AND BOTH YEARS BEFORE THAT.

THANKS, LUKE, I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.

Luke: NO PROBLEM.

Rick: PIG PEN, IF YOU WOULD.

STRAP 'EM IN.

ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET--

EVERYBODY READY?

GO!

SUCKERS! CHEATER!

NOT TONIGHT, PIG PEN!

HA HA HA!

Rick: GO GRAND, ANTHONY!

DON'T WIPE OUT.

DON'T WIPE OUT.

DON'T WIPE OUT.

HERE I COME, BABY!

AAH!

WHOO!

WHOO-HOO!

WHOA! WHOA!

UHH!

DAMN! DAMN!

DAMN!

COMING THROUGH. AAH!

HA HA HA!

UHH! AAH!

UHH! UHH!

YEAH!

HA HA HA!

WHOO HOO! WHOO!

UHH!

GET AWAY FROM MY HEAD!

AAH!

WHOO!

WHOO HOO! STOP!

HEY, NO FAIR!

WHOO HOO!

HA HA! OH, NICE!

YAHOO!

OH, SHIT! UHH!

WHOO HOO!

UHH!