South Park

# I'm going down to South Park #

# Gonna have myself a time #

# Friendly faces everywhere #

# Humble folks without temptation #

# Going down to South Park #

# Gonna leave my woes behind #

# Ample parking day or night #

# People spouting "howdy neighbor" #

# Headed on up to South Park #

# Gonna see if I can't unwind #

# Come on down to South Park #

# And meet some friends of mine ##

Get off the internet, Stanley, it's time for bed.

Mom, I just gotta do a couple more things.

Now, Stanley.

The internet will be waiting for you in the morning.

Off!

Aw, man.

Shelley, off the internet it's bedtime!

Mom, I'm i-chatting with my boyfriend in Montana!

Now, Shelley!

Why do you hate me?!

Randy, off the internet.

No!

No, come on! Leave me alone!

No, Mister, it's time for night-night.

But, Sharon, I got stuff to do!

I gotta see my credit rating

and I gotta send an e-mail to Nelson

and check out Foley's vacation photos.

You don't have to do all that now.

You can do one more thing and then it's bedtime.

One more thing.

Aie, akaita...

Ooh, yeah.

What the hell?

- Stan, Stan, I gotta use your computer. - What?

My internet's not working, I gotta use yours.

And give Daddy some private time, will ya?

- My internet's not working either. - What?!

Dad, the internet's not working!

I know that, okay?!

I have to get online with my darling Amir

before school starts!

Randy, I can't get my e-mail to open.

Everyone, just-just calm down!

Calm down, all right?

It's going to be okay, we just can't panic!

Gerald, please help us.

Randy, what happened?

Our house...it has no internet.

Oh, my God.

We've got nothing.

It's just gone.

Come in.

You can use our internet

until you figure out what to do.

Thank you, Gerald.

I'm getting on it first.

Oh, no, you're not!

Kyle, I need to use your internet.

It's not working.

What?!

I've even unplugged it and plugged it back in.

No, no, our internet can't be broken.

I've got to get an attachment

Larry sent me last night.

It's not working, Gerald.

But it has to work-- maybe if i--

Your internet's not working, Gerald, face it!

I have to get online before school.

What about Starbucks? They have free internet.

Right, Starbucks!

Everyone get your stuff, we can take my car!

Hey, is your guys' internet working?

No, nobody's is.

What's happening?!

Jesus, everyone's gonna go to Starbucks now.

Everyone in the car.

We have to beat them there.

God, the whole neighborhood's affected.

Get out of the way, Peterson!

Folks, there's no internet here!

It's not working, I tell you.

It's not working here?

Kids, get back in the car.

We can go to the Mac store.

No, don't, you're wasting your time.

How do you know?

Because we just came from there.

There was nothing-- not one scrap of internet.

How can there be no internet anywhere?

What's going on?

Anybody got a Blackberry?

Check Drudge Report.

Good idea!

No, wait, we can't check Drudge Report.

There's no internet!

There has to be a way to find out what's going on.

We can't-- don't you get it?!

There's no internet to find out

why there's no internet!

What did we used to do

to get the news before the internet?

A television!

Yargh!

Once again, we apologize

but we cannot bring you the news.

It appears that we have no internet here at news 4.

We'll be happy to bring you up on current events

just as soon as our internet is back.

Jesus, it's statewide.

It could be nationwide.

Hello, do you have internet?

It's channel 4 news.

No, we don't have internet either.

No internet anywhere.

Jesus...we're all alone.

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I need to get on WebMD and see

why I have this cough but I can't!

What if my sweetheart is online looking for me?

He could be wondering

why I don't get online with him.

Maybe he thinks I'm dead.

If my darling Amir gets another internet girlfriend

I'm gonna kill him!

And you!

Ahgh, ahggh, aghgh!

Shelley!

Shelley, whoa, stop, stop!

Dad, you gotta do something!

She's outta control!

You're right.

We can't just sit here any longer.

Randy, where will you go?

We're gonna head west.

There's a rumor going around

there might be some internet out there.

So we're headin' out Californee way.

You don't know if there's any internet in California.

Well, there certainly ain't none here!

Look, maybe it's time you all face reality.

The internet here is dryin' up.

It could come back.

Yeah, and maybe it won't.

In the meantime, I got a family

who needs internet right away.

We'll head out Californee way and...

see what we can find.

Come on, let's go.

Look, if you... If you do find internet,

let us know, will ya?

How?

You won't have internet.

Sorry, folks, we're full up.

Know anywhere else we can stay?

We're headin' out Californee way.

Lookin' for some internet.

You and everyone else.

You'll have to stay out at the transient camp

with all the others headin' to Californee.

It's about a mile down the road.

# I'm goin' down the road #

# Feelin' bad #

# I'm goin' down the road #

# Feelin' bad #

# I'm goin' down the road #

# Feeling bad oh lordy #

# My internet done up and went away #

Where are you from old-timer?

Kansas City.

Had me a store there,

a kind of computer-supply store.

When the internet went, the stores went too.

Things'll be different when we get out to Californee.

Soon as we get us some internet

we can all rest easy.

Why sure, Silicon Valley.

They gots a whole mess of internet up there.

Say a man can practically roll around in it.

When I get to that internet,

I'm gonna click on just about everything in sight.

Might even click on a pop-up ad

just for the heck of it.

I'm gonna sit down at that internet

and just start e-mailin'.

Just keep on e-mailin'

'til my fingers are sore to the bone.

Sure will be nice.

You folks all headin' to Silicon Valley?

That's right, we need to get online.

Ha-ha!

"Get online," he says.

What's so funny about that?

Think about it.

How many folk headin' out to Californee?

A million? More?

And how much internet you think they got out there?