Columbo

Come on.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Thanks.

Thirty-four red.

Let's get ready.

Okay, baby.

Come on, come on, come on.

See that seven, okay. Let's see that seven.

- Craps. Snake eyes. - Oh.

Sir.

I'm in. What have you got?

Mr. Hacker! What brings you down to Vegas?

Game on tonight?

Friend of mine said he spotted...

a guy here.

Guy? Well, maybe I can help.

What the hell? Where'd he go?

The gentleman sitting there, he'll be back in a minute, sir.

Forgot to make a phone call.

I'm keeping an eye on his winnings for him.

Is it McCain that you're looking for? Harold McCain?

Sir, I don't think you should...

His winnings?

How much did he owe you?

None of your damn business.

But I'll bet you people give him credit, too.

Well, it's courtesy of the house, maybe, considering who he is.

- Come on! - All right.

But I know he's given the boss some solid tips about some football games.

I mean, his uncle being who he is,

anyone that close to the horse's mouth, to Big Fred himself.

Slow down, you dumb blasted...

Well, wouldn't you know.

Uncle Fred.

Hey, Uncle Fred! Hey!

Fred!

Hey, what the hell's the matter with you, huh? What, are you going deaf?

Can't you even jog where there's sidewalks?

- Hey, will you turn those... - Get your hands off, I can hear you!

All right!

Well, what brings you back? They throw you out of Tijuana?

No horses running at Caliente?

Or did you get bit in the dogfights in Arizona?

Take it easy, will ya?

Well, where have you been? Dolores has been worried, I don't know why.

San Francisco.

Public relations firm up there I may go to work for.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Why didn't you just stay up there? Go get 'em.

Stay after something for once in your life?

So, I came back to get my laundry, okay?

Pick up my mail at my shack.

Maybe see the game this afternoon? Any objection?

Harold, you're not in trouble again. Because if you are,

you can damn well put the bite on somebody else!

For God's sake! Give me a little credit, will ya?

All right, you can stick around a while, a couple of days if you have to.

Just so long as you understand,

nothing has changed here, including my mind.

So, you're still sore at me, huh?

What, so we had a... So, we fought a little bit last week.

You better get your heap out of here before somebody creams it.

Come on, I'll give you a ride. Come on. Uncle Fred!

Wake up the echoes cheering her name

Send a volley cheer on high...

Harold!

Hey, I see Big Fred finally got his baby carriage.

Oh, Harold, I've been so worried about you...

Lousy license, though. Stallions number one.

They're 0-6! Doesn't he know there's fans out there...

that would shoot at a plate like that?

Oh, he'd just think it was funny, or shoot back maybe.

It's all part of the game.

Harold, those people that you're in trouble with...

- You don't think that they... - Hey, I don't know what they'd do.

And I don't intend to find out.

Oh, my poor baby. Drink some orange juice.

That's a little strong for me.

Hey, you. Watch it.

The gardener's here already. Didn't you notice?

Fernando is not just a gardener.

But he is starting to prune the back hedge today.

The one way back.

And there's no one else in the house.

Fred's probably in the shower by now.

Hey, look.

Yeah, I talked to Fred already, Dolores. He hasn't changed his mind, has he?

About throwing me out or cutting me off any way he can.

Well, unless you can persuade him that you've given up gambling...

and your other little vices.

He wasn't always so damn pure.

He didn't always own a football team, Harold.

He really can't let people think that he's even remotely mixed up in...

Yeah, well, I will quit. I told you, okay? Just as soon as I catch up, okay?

And I might have, too, if it wasn't...

God! It stinks! Just forget it.

How much did you round up for me?

I'm afraid $20,000 is all I can manage without Fred finding out.

But my pink pearls...

He never notices whether I wear them or not.

- He never notices anything anymore. - No, Dolores.

I got a couple better ideas.

Oh, Harold, promise me that you won't do anything desperate.

Oh, but I might.

There! You see that? That's a late hit.

Bertie, get me the replay guy!

- They won't take calls in the replay... - They'll take mine, damn it!

Here, Honey, hit me again, will ya?

Sure will, honey.

Haven't done well against the Elks' defensive secondary.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Is that the Stallions kicking team?

Hey, look, we're going to kick!

On third down? Get me the bench!

I'm already trying.

Tell 'em to pass! Pass!

You can't pass without a quarterback.

Why didn't you buy me a better backup?

We're only down by 12, Uncle Fred.

We're 18-point underdogs. We're beating the spread.

That's something.

Yeah. Well, spreads are for losers like you, kid. Me, I like to win.

Back to pass on first down. And he has ground open in the end zone!

Touchdown!

I think that may be all for the Stallions this afternoon, Don.

If Garcia's extra point is good, that'll put the Stallions down by 19.

This looks like a wrap, Don.

I think you're right, Chris.

Wait a minute, there's activity on the Stallions' sideline.

That's who I think it is, but I don't expect we'll see him any this afternoon.

Now, it's the Elks to kick off...

and it's caught at the 10-yard line by Banks...

and he is to the 31-yard line. First-and-ten, Stallions.

Look! It's him! It's Clyde!

Who?

Oh, Clyde! Clyde Windowski!

Our number one pick. Hasn't really played much yet.

Oh, Mrs. McCain, he's the most gorgeous hunk you ever saw.

Only he's had this terrible twisted ankle.

He sure looks cured to me!

Touchdown, Stallions!

The extra point is good. Stallions now trail by 12.

Now, receiving the kick-off for the Stallions...

and it is dropped!

That's Crawford scrambling to recover. And he's got the ball! Touchdown, Stallions!

Kid is good.

We might have a real upset on our hands.

Davis back to pass, looking for Cartwright. Intercepted!

He has Ashcroft out of the backfield.

Touchdown, Stallions!

They've done it! They've come from behind!

Harold! Did you see me, buddy?

How about that? I did it, man! We won!

Oh, wait till my mother hears about this.

- Did you see me? - Did I see you?

What the hell happened? I thought you said you couldn't possibly play.

I thought you said the doctors said you couldn't...

Sure, but you know what?

I stuffed some extra pills at halftime.

When I get 'em to poke and twist at me, I didn't even blink.

- I didn't feel it! Hey! - You damn fool.

I don't care what it feels like tomorrow.

Now they know what I can do. Now they can't drop me!

Jeez, buddy, you didn't bet on the game, did you?

Get out of here. Idiot!

Hello.

Who is this?

Three guesses.

McCain, this is the seventh time I've called...

and it's gonna be my last.

Hey, Hacker! Hey, I'm glad you got me.

Hey look, I'm sorry I had to cut out on you the other night,

but I had to come hold my uncle's hand.

Anyway, I told him about you.

You what?

Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

Just want you to know that he's gonna help out.

Everything's gonna be fine.

I don't believe you!

Big Fred would take your head off if he knew.

We can't talk about this on the phone. You know that.

But, hey, I'll be up next week and we'll straighten everything out.

You better, if you wanna stay in one piece.

Where the hell is it?

Oh, man.

Hey, Honey, wait, wait. I got it. I'm up. I got it.

Hello? Hello?

Harold?

Bertie! Hey, what's up? Where are you?

Surf club, where I'm supposed to be.

Coaches' breakfast. Only where's your uncle? I thought you might know.

I've been calling the house for 45 minutes, but there's no answer, not even Dolores.

Hey, Bertie, I don't know,

I mean, he's gotta be on his way. Where else could he be?

Look at your watch. He's an hour late.

Harold, I've never known him to be late anywhere.

Well, maybe he had a flat tire or something. But, hey... Sure, I'll check!

Thanks.

Yeah.

Keep moving. Keep it going.

Keep it moving.