The Sopranos

You gonna say something, or what?

It's your dime.

What's he doing here?

A friend of mine walked by.

Yeah, baby.

- What the hell's going on? - Thunderstorms.

- Jackie. - You smell it?

That's rain.

Dr. Melfi, what the hell are you doing to me?

Go back to sleep.

What are you doing up? You got school tomorrow.

Working on a high score.

- Did your mother go to bed? - Yeah.

Where were you?

The compactor went down at Barone Sanitation.

Move over.

Watch out for the ghosts.

This ain't steering right.

Yeah, kicking your butt.

So how're things going with you?

How's school?

Dad, you have to concentrate. New game.

- No fair. - It's called a handicap.

- Come on, stop! - I'm kicking your ass!

- One hand, look at that! - I can't see.

Get off!

Stop! Come on!

You lose.

Focus through distractions. There's your lesson.

I want you in bed in 10 minutes.

Andretti, you listening to me?

Good night, dad.

Good night.

Where'd you park?

In the parking lot.

- No one followed me. - Adriana, you wouldn't know it.

Oh, yeah. Like Tony Soprano's hiding in my back seat.

- You are so paranoid. - Bring the car right here.

I know, he's in disguise. That could be him.

Hey, Tony! Or maybe he's in the trash can.

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Let go of me!

It could be anybody, anytime. I don't even know if it's Tony.

You gave crystal meth to his daughter!

Which I'm not sure he knows.

Look at my wrist. It's all red.

I'm sorry!

But I got dragged out to the fucking Meadowlands by my neck!

Mock execution!

What?

- What? - Nothing.

- No, what? - You don't want to know, trust me.

Know what?

I heard the nurse say you made number two in your pants.

Is that what happens?

Get the car! Please, can we just go to Brendan's...

Score some shit and find out what's going on?

Please!

Brendan, let's go. Wake up, man.

The fool leaves his door open.

- I gotta pee. - Go for it.

Yo, Einstein, you should have seen me at the hospital. It took three nurses...

That's the message. Thanks.

Way to go, Anth!

Hear it in five, four, three, two...

Yo, check it.

- You think this is funny? - What? What's funny?

I didn't do nothing.

You beep me again, you'll be sorry.

We don't know what you're talking about.

"Your mother blows." That's a real original message.

- Maybe she does, right? - Yeah.

Then why'd you eat all the doughnuts she sent us at camp?

And then cry on her shoulder, "I'm so homesick, Mrs. Piocosta."

Why don't you shut up?

Have another doughnut, you fat fart-knocker!

I'm gonna kill him!

Hey, break it up! Break it up!

I want a 5-minute cool-down period, now.

See you next week, doc.

- Mr. Dante, you forgot something. - Thank you, baby.

- Don't forget to floss. - You saved my life.

All right. See you next week, all right?

Can I help you, sir?

Oh, my God.

- I'm having second thoughts. - About?

This whole thing, this whole arrangement.

Security.

I come here, I tell you things, I don't know how safe it is.

I understand your concerns.

But I told you what the ground rules are:

As long as I don't hear anything incriminating...

You don't fucking get it. Just my being here incriminates me!

Somebody sees me, they tell somebody else, all of a sudden I'm a celebrity!

I thought we made some progress on your narcissism.

Who are you?

Why is that so important for you to know?

My mother told me never to answer a question with a question.

So your mother did teach you something.

If I asked you about your life, who you talk to, who you trust...?

I'd have to take the fifth.

That's cute.

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware of what I was saying.

I'm sorry.

- Why are you here? - Chris sent me for you.

Chris? Did something happen? Must be my dad, right?

Why else would Chris send you?

Did Brendan get my poem?

Another search warrant? Calls them the federal bureau of annoying bullshit.

You told your old man!

You scared me! What happened to you?

We're moving to Florida because you couldn't keep your mouth shut!

What are you talking about?

Did Brendan ask about me?

Get us out of here! Get us out!

- Did you tell your old man? - About the meth? Are you insane?

Don't you get it? This is serious!

Let go of me!

Stop this shit!

He's worried about you. He's been asking about you, asshole.

I'm sorry if I hurt you.

I hate my life, being a Soprano.

Hey, don't ever say you hate life. That's blasphemy.

Fuck you!

Okay, let's go.

Remember when you were little?

I'll buy you one of those happy meals, all right?

Where the fuck are you?

This is a new shirt your grandmother bought. It's in the trash?

It's a Westport. It's not even cool anymore.

What did you just say?

I got in a fight.

Hope you did as much damage to his wardrobe. Who with?

I didn't get caught. No demerits.

Anthony, who?

- Jeremy. - Jeremy piocosta?

You were together at camp. I thought you were friends.

If that's all the information I get, I'll call Mrs. Piocosta.

No, ma, wait! Don't call!

You kids are gonna learn the value of a dollar!

- I'll wash your car. - You never put any effort in.

I will, I promise. I'll do it really good.

Just don't call, I'll get the money.

Forty dollars, Anthony.

I know, I know.

How you doing?

What brings you here?

Remember that pastry place? Ferrara's?

Brought you some macaroons.

They're too sweet!

What do you mean? They're your favorites!

The activities director, Rosie, says...

They're organizing a trip to the city.

Dinner and a show.

And you don't want to go.

- I don't like the people here. - You don't know them.

And that city.

Grown men soiling themselves.

- It's not like that anymore. - That Giuliani...

Let's stick to the field trip.

Mothers throwing their babies out of skyscraper windows.

You're always with the babies out the windows.

You don't mix with the other ladies or talk to the nice gents I see around.

- You're not taking opportunities. - What do you care?

Out of sight, out of mind.

We don't think like that.

Not me, or Carm, or the kids.

I wish the lord would take me now.

I came to get cheered up. Think that's a mistake?

You being sarcastic?

You can't put your problems on me.

This is the most expensive retirement home in New Jersey.

If you wanted to, you could be happy here.

You're pissing it all away.

What beautiful language for your mother.

- You want the macaroons? - I don't care.

Leave some out for the lunatics.

Goodbye, ma.

They're saying it might rain today.

What the hell are you doing?

This place is an hour from my office.

Are you a woman? Get a bladder transplant. My mother lives here.

It's not real convenient for me.

It's not convenient? Why don't we meet at your precinct?

The government would love a few pictures of us for the scrapbook.

What do you got for me?

Here.

- "Jennifer Melfi, M.D."? - Her background, daily routine.

And your personal relationship with her is...?

None of your fucking business.

You can't blame a guy for trying.

Are you bored with your life?

Oh, yeah, sure! Busting whores and junkies.

Plus, it's a thrill to pay two alimonies on a $40,000-a-year income.

All right, listen.

I don't want her touched or bothered.

I want to know the who, when, why. That's it.

Usual fee?

The Knicks lost, lieutenant.

You're down two large.