Modern Family

Mm.

Oh! Let me get that, husband.

After a storybook wedding and a magical honeymoon,

Mitchell and I are finally newlyweds.

Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in your own chair?

there's no more "my chair" or "your chair."

So...

We got back from our honeymoon several weeks ago,

And it feels like it never...

Never ended? Oh, my gosh.

It's like we have one mind and one heart.

And one chair.

ha ha.

Happy three-month anniversary.

Oh, is that today?

So, listen, I have this boring cocktail thing at the office,

But I should be home by 6:00, and then we can head to the party.

For you, dad. From dad. Again.

Flowers? But you just got me flowers yesterday.

Well, you also had cereal yesterday.

And I wouldn't mind having some today.

Sure was nice when this house wasn't full of bees.

More syrup for milady?

Why, thank you, kind sir.

Claire, do we still have any of those cookies that you and Luke baked?

Are we the kind of family.

That has cookies for breakfast?

Yes, we are!

yeah! Yeah!

Mmm!

a butterfly!

oh, my god!

We are having...

The most perfect summer...

Ever.

Don't get me wrong, the dunphys have had some great days.

We just have a little trouble stringing them together.

Our record was eight consecutive blissful days...

December 2007.

It was our hanukkah.

This summer, all the dunphys are just clicking.

Yeah, Haley and Luke are getting along,

Alex is off building houses for the poor.

Which I know sounds awful, but she loves it.

My fashion blog is blowing up.

I started doing these live video chats,

Oh, plus, my hair has never looked better.

I'm not a religious person... But I just woke up.

Phil has been gardening.

I've had time to catch up and read the classics.

When she isn't busy helping me.

With my magic-mirror disappearing trick.

I'm just gonna say it... suddenly, I love magic.

I don't care if it's the middle of the day.

I just want to put you in a box and stick swords in you. oh.

If this summer wasn't magical enough,

I haven't had a single bad plum!

Oh, my god!

So, the zipper... oh, my god!

Phil: Oh, my god!

All: Manny!

Manny!

Come! Talk to your cousins!

Hola! Man: ¿cómo estás, Manny?

Manny, why you freeze the Colombians?

If I talk to one of them, I have to talk to 50 of them.

Just do it as a birthday gift.

You always do this. Your birthday's not till next week.

Not mine. It's aunt rosario's 82nd birthday today.

That's why all the goats are wearing the party hats.

Look!

All: Manny! Hi, everyone.

Ay! Pretty snazzy new cheaters, huh?

Five bucks. Wow.

I know, right?!

My husband is an older man, but he's not an old man.

But with the track suit and... and now the glasses,

It's like he just stopped trying lately.

Comfort is not everything.

My toes have been numb since my quinceanera.

We don't have to be at drinks till 5:00,

So I'm gonna run a few errands, take these bad boys for a spin.

Ay, jay, why don't you wear that new outfit that I just got you?

Uh, a little flashy, that extra zipper.

Like a staircase to nowhere.

Yeah, but it makes you look very...

Honey, I'm so sorry. Right on your toes.

It's fine. You can drop a pay phone on my foot.

I don't feel a thing anymore.

Phil: And now, as my lovely assistant joins me,

It's time to chant the incantation.

That will send this fair maiden into the sixth dimension.

Both: By the hat of Merlin, by the witches of gramanthia,

We do make this offering to you... be gone!

Haley: Claire: Did I do it? Did I disappear?

Almost. Just a little bit of forehead.

Oh, I can scrunch down. There's love.

Hey, guys.

Sweet! You brought the sifter.

Aw! Now I can start my rhubarb pie.

Ooh, can I help pick the rhubarb?

Lead the way, kitten.

Anybody want a plum? I'm good.

I'll grab you a roadie.

There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?

No, Mitchell. We're happy.

Oh, I'm trying to get away from "happy."

All right, in the briefest possible way,

Why don't you let me know what's going on?

Okay, cam refuses to let the honeymoon end.

Huh. I have a house full of flowers, endless romantic texts.

I know, I know, I sound like an ungrateful jerk.

You do. It's exhausting.

Not to mention impossible to reciprocate.

Phil: Oh, my god!

Do you think that maybe I should talk to him gently.

About taking it down a notch?

No, absolutely not. That never ends well.

Clearly you thought this said "be mean."

Phil, honey, no. No.

It's... okay, don't worry, I...

And it wasn't even valentine's day. So your advice is to do nothing.

Yes, Mitchell, as horrible as this sounds,

You need to suck it up and let yourself be loved,

And cam will end up dialing back the romance.

You might just miss it. I know I do.

Here we are. A plum for my peach.

Ohh.

Do you?

Here you go. Thank you.

Is he okay? He's Mitchell.

Look, I didn't even want to talk about it.

We've had such a great thing going on here.

I don't want to let that kind of negativity in the house.

mmm.

Alex! Hey!

We didn't think you were coming back until next week.

I got a ride home early.

This has been the worst summer ever!

Luke: Careful, you idiot! Haley: You're an idiot!

huh.

And last night,

My tent ripped, so I had to sleep.

Under a plywood board leaning up against a van.

Pass me a napkin. Is milady's arm broken?

Yours is about to be.

Alex: Not that I could sleep with all the rats.

And, by the way,

If any of you start coughing up blood, my bad.

I think I brought back the plague.

What am I doing?

I think I left my backpack in the driveway.

Stop kicking me!

You're kicking me!

I'm sorry. I'm just fidgety today.

It's okay. A cookie might help.

Here's that napkin you wanted.

Alex: I got the mail!

Would it have killed you to give me one without ketchup on it?

Move! You have room!

No, move out! You're 40!

Phil: Okay. That's enough.

Luke, why don't you go water our garden.

Haley, just disappear for a minute.

Well, it's not like you could help with that.

Abracad-ouch.

Well, it's great having Alex home, huh? So great.

You don't think that she's the reason why we...

No. No, I do not.

We both knew that this charmed summer.

Had to have a bump in it somewhere.

Yes. Yeah.

And it's not like Alex coming home.

Could suddenly throw off our whole happy mojo.

How's that plum?

Great. Oh, my god.

There she is! There she is!

Oh, so happy to have you home, honey.

Oh, my god! It's a bat!

Aah! Claire: What's happening?!

Get it out of the house!

Haley: Get it away! Ew, ew, ew, ew! Aah!

Ew, ew, ew!

This is unbelievable.

The dry cleaner lost another one of my shirts.

You know that nice, red-white-and-blue hawaiian one?

Yes, that was a very nice one.

That's the fourth hawaiian shirt he's lost.

I'm telling you, this is a "dateline" story waiting to happen.

Manny: Great talking with you all,

Hey, but someone wants to say hi.

No, no!

All: Jay! Hi, guys.

Woman: ¿cómo estás? Nope, still don't speak Spanish.

Always so much fun seeing you guys, though.

Listen, I...

Gloria? Hmm?

Your cousin's wearing.

My black, yellow, and peach hawaiian shirt.

Ay, please, jay!