Our Family Wedding

And that green one's for you, whether you like it or not.

I don't like that.

- Do I need these? - No.

Come on. Come on.

Why are you so scared?

Well, my parents don't know I dropped out of law school,

and I'm living with a man they've never met before. And...

We're adults about to get married and start our life together.

Can't we just do that and not tell my dad?

yeah.

I promise you, your parents are gonna love me.

I'm sorry, baby, but you blew that chance when you had sex with me.

Is that you? I think it's you.

It's mine.

- Hi, Daddy. - Hey, Pop.

This is your man Brad Boyd, Hot 93.7 KZLY.

Don't forget the card, fellas.

Didn't matter if I had my chocolates in one hand, my champagne in the other.

If I didn't come with that Hallmark attached,

my ex-wife just flipped.

I never got that. I guess that's why she's my ex.

- Hey. (ON PHONE) Miguel.

- What? - you cannot be this clueless.

What, Sonia?

Sonia?

Honey?

(ON RADIO) Brad Boyd, Brad Boyd, B- squared on the radio,

spending time with you on The Love Hour.

Now Cupid's arrows are pointing right at you,

playing music to hit your heartstrings.

Ow! Just hit you in the heart.

Happy Valentine's Day, people.

Oh, shit!

BOyD: So what are you doing tonight, Los Angeles?

Are you with the one you love, or are you loving the one you're with?

What am I doing tonight?

I'm gonna let some trouble find me.

I'm gonna be out at The Spot signing autographs.

All you ladies out there looking for a valentine,

Brad Boyd will be in the house.

Hi.

I'm Sienna.

- Brad Boyd. - I know.

your voice is in my ear every night.

yeah, don't forget Brad Boyd is in the building, y'all. Check him out.

Wow.

Babe, did you get that flower I got for you last night?

Is...

I'm just gonna get some food on the way to work.

Baby, can you help me?

Watch it. I got it, baby. Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, what is that smell? Is that you or is that me?

- you, since Colorado. - Shut up.

you know, if we would've got on a flight, we would have been here

- three days earlier. - I don't wanna hear it!

- People die on planes! People die on trains!

- They derail! - How about this?

How about we invite your dad and my parents to a restaurant tonight?

And then we can tell them all at the same time, in a public place.

How about we stick to the plan, do dinner at my dad's house tonight

and brunch at your parents' tomorrow?

Okay. All right, that's the plan. It's a good plan.

We can stick to the plan.

And after I rent a car, we could get a hotel and burn some time.

Hello? - Hi, Daddy!

- Hey, sweetie, what are you doing? - I'm on a train to LA right now.

- No, you're not. - What a surprise!

I didn't think I was gonna get to see you till spring break.

I was thinking we could maybe... We could go to a restaurant tonight?

That's not the plan!

- Okay. See you. - Okay, I'll text you the address.

- All right. I love you, Daddy. Bye. - Bye, angel.

Hey, your sister's coming to dinner tonight.

I know. She called me, like, a couple of days ago.

Dad, not at work.

Why am I always the last person to find things out in this family?

Manny called in sick, says he has shingles,

so I'm delivering the Bugatti to Mr. Endicott.

We have a bunch of tow calls from LAPD, so... I don't know what you wanna do.

Tell Jesse or Ramon.

They called in sick, too. Gout and scurvy.

Let me guess. This is about the health coverage.

That's it. Give me the keys to the other truck. I'll tow the cars myself.

All right. you know you don't pedal with your feet anymore, right?

Times have changed.

And you have always been my favorite son.

Shut up.

Hey! Whoa!

Oh, yeah, cool. Cool.

you know what? I could bring this girl...

No, there's this other one I'm gonna bring...

Hey, hey, hey! Hey, stop, stop! That's my car! That's my car!

you know what? Just text me the address, all right?

Hey, man. I'm here. This is mine.

- I'm sorry, my man, but it's on the hook. - No, no, no, look.

Look, it's not hooked up yet. Look, you haven't hooked it yet.

yeah, it's...

- What? We cool, right? - yeah, we're fine.

- All right, great. We're good. - Okay.

Ah!

yes!

Ah- ha!

- It's on the hook, like I said. - No, no, it wasn't.

It wasn't on the hook. I got here before you had it on the hook.

you're gonna have to come claim your car.

What, you think I would trust this ride with somebody like you?

Excuse me?

- What, you don't speak English now? - We're speaking English, bro.

- I'm not your "bro," ese. - And I'm not your '"ese, '"cuz.

I'm not your "cuz," vato.

- Bye. - Cool. you see this?

you see it right now? I got my hand on the doorknob.

you want to call a policeman? Police! Police!

(CONTINUES SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

I got my hand on the doorknob.

you can't tow me if I got my hand on the doorknob.

- you know the law, right? - Here's where you get it.

- Hey, everybody! Can anybody see here? - I'm towing the car.

I got my hand on the doorknob, and he's trying to tow my car away!

- Bye-bye. - She saw! She saw it!

- Hey! - Bye!

No, no! Hey! This is my automobile!

- Hey! Hey! you see me? Look! Look! - Bye!

Stop! I'm here!

Hey! you see me? I know you see...

Hey. you see my hand on the knob, right? you'll testify, right?

Hey! Hey!

This is my car!

Hey. Thanks.

I knew I could depend on you.

Mmm-mmm.

- Come on. - Get in the back.

- Come on, Angie. - No.

- Angie. - you're on punishment.

Fine. Fine, you want to be my chauffeur? No problem. Okay.

Come on, James. I rarely get out, all right?

And when I do, it's for these radio events.

And the women there are young.

Okay? I said they're young, and they love my voice.

As your lawyer, I suggest you curb this habit

before you wake up on the wrong side of some pissed-off daddy's shotgun.

I'm human, Angie. What you want me to do?

- you should let me set you up. - Uh-uh. No more veterans.

And what is a veteran?

- you know. - No, I don't.

Bitter, older women who've been messed over by so many men

that they're twisted up like war vets.

They wake up in the middle of the night screaming,

trying to choke you in your sleep.

They get their little tweezers out and they're stabbing you in the heart, going...

"you know you did it. you know you did it. "

Slow down.

you already hooked me up with the unmentionable.

- I don't wanna say her name, so... - Oh, no.

- you begged me to hook you up with... - Hey.

- Don't... - If it wasn't for me...

- you know we got a rule. ... setting you up with...

- Do not say that name. ... Cheryl.

Oh!

Man, I know.

I'm working on it, I'm working on it.

If it wasn't for Cheryl, you wouldn't have Marcus, and he turned out wonderful.

And that's a surprise, seeing he was raised by your crazy butt.

Luckily, he had me around to watch his back.

What would you do if you didn't have me here to rescue you, huh?

you'd be standing on the side of the road.

All true. See,

this way, you're the only woman I need in my life.

- Oh, God. - Thanks, babe.

- See you later. - Bye.

- Okay. How do I look? - you look fine.

Hey, you know those cufflinks you made me, the ones with the little fishes?

Mmm-hmm.

Do you know where they are?

- Hey, I looked in there. - Of course you did.

I can't wait for you to see the car for Lucia's graduation gift.

It's the best work I've ever done.

Hey. Reservation for Boyd.

- Just a moment. - Okay, thanks.

So, we're gonna tell them everything, right?

- Babe? - yes.

Good. Now, show the twins a little bit. Come on.

All right, that's gross.

- Hi, Izzy. - Hi.

I'm hungry.

Iz, this is Marcus. Marcus, this is my sister, Isabel.

- Hey. - you look better than your picture.

- I like your face. - Thanks, and you...

And your fingernails are nice and manicured. It's nice.

- Okay, enough. - (CHUCKLING) Cute.

Can you give us one real quick, just a minute?

yeah.

What? - Have you told Dad about him yet?

- No, that's why we're here. - This is gonna be so good.

- Mom! Hi! - Oh, my God! Look at you!

- Mi hija, you are so grown up! No, she's not!

I missed you so much. you look great, sweetheart.