De Piraten van Hiernaast

PIRATES DOWN THE STREET

Betsie.

Betsie.

- It's Cornelius. - Again?

- Yes, he's found us again. - Blunderbuss.

Delightful.

How's Billy doing?

Sleeping like a rose.

Blunderbuss.

But then he needs to keep his mouth shut.

Blunderbuss.

Surrender.

Or I'll send you and your family down to Davy Jones's locker.

Then you'll have to aim better, Cornelius.

Did you see that? Missed us by leagues.

- Scallywag. Scallywag. - What a scallywag.

Told you so. Scallywag.

What do you have to say to that, Cornelius?

You still haven't answered me.

Answered you?

- Now? I'm in the middle of a battle. - We're always in battle.

- You enjoy it. - We've got Billy now.

He's not bothered by any of this.

Oh my boy.

Did that seasick slimy eel scare you?

You can't feed the baby and fight a battle.

You're right.

Okay.

- Okay. - Enough is enough, Hector.

Take a good look, laddie.

This is the last time you'll ever see that creep.

Come back, you coward.

We're not done yet.

Even if I have to search all of the seven seas.

I will catch you.

Blunderbuss. I'll...

You'll never be safe.

Even if you sail to the end of the world.

The end of the world.

12 years, 7 months and 3 days later...

Thanks a lot.

What?

I... We were wondering, if anything fun happened today?

Here? In Sandsborough?

Let me think. High tide twice. Low tide twice.

Oh yeah, and it was very windy.

Nothing ever happens here. That's why everyone leaves.

Well, everyone... The Dudley girl still lives next door.

Elizabeth?

But she's a girl.

- So? - You really don't get it, do you?

Have you heard from Martin at all?

No.

Oh well.

He's probably very busy. New home, new school, new friends.

What?

You have to put in some effort. Friends don't just come falling from the sky.

No, but they do disappear just like that.

Ow. Thundering Thumbclapper.

Michael, what would you like on your sandwich?

Michael?

Boo.

What's wrong?

- Michael? - What's the matter?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

Not a ghost. Pirates. Down the street.

That's nice. Would you like peanut butter?

- Do you know you're still in pajamas? - And? There's a pirate ship in the street.

There is no pirate ship. Would you prefer jam?

Dad, come on.

Okay, fine. We'll go look together.

But I can guarantee you that there are no... pirates here.

Ahoy, neighbor.

That belongs to me.

- It's a pirate. - I told you so.

Robert, what's going on?

It looks like we have new neighbors.

- They're pirates. - Don't you start.

- Yvonne... - What is it?

Neighbor.

Okay. So we have new neighbors.

And they're pirates.

Let's welcome them.

Go and change out of your pajamas, Michael.

They're pirates. I don't think they mind.

Well...

Welcome, landlubbers.

Welcome. I'm Captain Hector Blunderbuss.

And this is Billy.

He looks quite friendly.

Come here, you.

Betsie Blunderbuss. Nice to meet you. The old man is hungry.

She'll put him on the chain, so he won't bite anyone.

Chain?

Not forever. Just until his cage is ready.

What's wrong with the water?

Oh, that's Roy.

The best guard shark in the Western hemisphere. And the Southern.

- Guard shark? - You have to feed him on time.

- Just like the old man. - And us, too. Come, Billy.

- Eel mongers. Prawn peelers. - Shut that foghorn of yours, dad.

And you said nothing ever happens here.

- Well? - They're very strange people.

Pirates.

Pirates?

Landlubber.

Landlubber.

Ah, there you are.

- Nice plunderers den, landlubber. - My name is Michael.

Don't touch that.

What's inside then? Gold? Jewelry?

- Books. - Comic books.

- Did you make this? - With Martin.

He wrote the stories. I drew the pictures.

Wrote? Is he dead or something?

Did they keelhaul him? Is he in jail?

- Be normal. He just moved, that's all. - And that's normal?

- Is there anything to do in this town? - Nothing.

I thought so. Boring.

- We won't be here for long anyway. - For how long?

- Do you want to get rid of us? - No, of course not.

Look. That's a pirate ship.

And this is the interior.

That doesn't make any sense at all.

I can show you what a real pirate ship looks like. If you dare.

Are you coming?

Or are you scared?

Billy?

Wimp.

- There's some slimy creature in there. - Yes.

That's Freddy. Our octopus.

My parents won't even let me have a goldfish.

Goldfish are sneaky.

Freddy is much nicer. Isn't that right, Freddy?

What about me? What about me?

- What's his name? - He hasn't got one.

PWNN, Parrot With No Name.

Hey, saltwater slurper.

Don't scare the boy. Go enjoy yourselves.

- Grandpa needs to be walked. - What if Cornelius...

This time that slanted scallywag won't find us. Okay?

Yeah, sure.

Who is this Cornelius, anyway?

That's him. Crooked Cornelius.

My parents' arch enemy.

They have been running from him since I was a baby.

It's always the same:

As soon as Cornelius finds us, my parents weigh anchor.

- That's how scared they are of him. - Aren't you?

A true pirate...

is never scared.

If it was up to me, we'd put to sea today...

and show that sea-foamer every corner of the ocean.

Your turn.

If you can't swing, you can't board ships.

I don't want to board any ships.

Suit yourself.

Wait.

Not bad.

For a landlubber.

Rum.

Hector, what are you doing?

Howdy, neighbor.

- Do you like our cannon? - Why are you firing it?

As an alarm clock.

Sometimes the old man can only be woken up with a cannon.

Don't ever do that again.

- The whole neighborhood is awake. - That's what alarm clocks are for.

Landlubbers.

A cannon?

After barely two days they think they own the neighborhood.

Sit down. Eat your porridge.

- They don't know our norms and values. - Someone should teach them, then.

You're right. And that seems like the perfect job for...

me.

- Why you? - Why not?

I've got time. The choir is on holiday. The fanfare outfits are done.

- They're ruffians. - That's what my dad called you.

With your upgraded scooter.

A scooter, you?

Your dad was a really tough guy.

Long ago.

- What is that plank for? - It saves me climbing the drainpipe.

- We've got a front door. - Here's what we'll do.

Treasure hunt, throwing knives, long distance spitting, drinking rum.

Drinking rum?

He fell for it, the crazy sea cucumber.

Take it or leave it, otherwise I'll just go.

No, wait.

Where do we start?

Sword fighting.

Girl alert.

- What do you want? - To join you.

Only if we need someone who can scream.

And who's really scared.

And always needs to be saved. Then you can join us.

- Really? - Swords aren't for girls.

Billy Blunderbuss.

Don't you dare.

Swords aren't for girls?