Perry Mason: The Case of the Skin-Deep Scandal

Thank you.

For watching.

Where'd he go?

Who?

What do you mean, who?

Didn't you see him?

Oh, come on.

Whoever he was, Miss Westbrook, he never got inside the safe.

The metal's got a few scorch marks on it, but it looks like the lock wasn't even touched.

No thanks to you.

How did he get past security?

We're working on it.

Well, work on it on your own time, because you are fired.

Alana, we don't even know how it happened yet.

Stu's worked for us for five years.

Look, I don't care how it happened.

It's time for a change.

Alana, I have those contracts for your signature.

Lady Scott, you were going to choose the girl for the national advertising campaign.

Oh, not now.

Alana, this is the third day they've been here.

All right.

All right.

I think we can do better.

Girls, I'm really sorry.

Thank you, ladies.

If there are any future opportunities, I have your numbers.

Somewhere out there.

Somewhere out there, there is a girl with the perfect look.

At least the formula's safe.

That's the important thing.

Yeah.

And it is going to remain safe.

That's why I'm taking it home.

Home?

Alana, you can't do that.

The formula's too valuable.

Well, you can't stop me.

As CEO, I have a responsibility to the company and to your stockholders.

You're going to do what you told Barbara, just like everyone else around here.

You are constantly undermining my authority.

If you won't let me do the job you hired me to do, then why don't you let me out of my contract?

So you can become the CEO at Winston Cosmetics?

Who told you?

Oh, Scott is a very efficient and well-connected executive assistant.

I want out, Alana.

I want out.

Oh, I understand.

I understand Winston offered you $200,000 a year plus bonuses.

Very generous.

Too bad you already have an ironclad contract with me.

Thank you.

Mrs. Westbrook?

Dr. Schell, as I'm sure you've already heard, there was a break-in last night.

An attempt was made to steal the ingenue formula.

Yes, they didn't get it.

I know, but I'm going to take sole responsibility for its security.

That's why I'd like you to turn over all your notes and files on the project.

I don't understand.

You don't have to.

Just open the cabinet.

Mrs. Westbrook.

Doctor!

Now.

Mrs. Westbrook, don't do this to me.

These files represent years of work.

They're irreplaceable.

Without them, I would never be able to reconstruct the form.

You don't have to.

I told you, I'm going to make sure it's safe.

Alana, I did not think it is fair that you retain sole possession.

Doctor, I own that patent.

Now, you developed the ingenue formula as a salaried employee under my supervision.

If you don't know what that means, I will be very happy to have my attorney explain it to you.

All right.

The cabinet.

Please.

Everybody out.

Thank you.

Scott, we want you to call a press conference.

Alana, I don't think the press is going to be that interested in a simple robbery attempt.

Oh, I have a much bigger story than that.

I'm going to tell them things even you don't know.

In fact, this is a product so revolutionary...

Revolutionary that the competition actually sent burglars to try to steal it.

Fortunately, they didn't get it.

Are you telling us people are committing industrial espionage just to get their hands on some new wrinkle cream?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

This is much more than that.

This is an entirely new discovery that I've developed and I've tested on myself.

I call it ingenue.

Remember that name?

You know how most women lie about their ages?

I know I always did.

Well, today I'm finally going to tell you the truth.

In fact, I'm going to show you copies of my birth certificate and my family records to prove it.

Are you going to tell us that you're really 20?

No, no, au contraire.

Janice?

Is this for real?

Check it out for yourself.

The original of that birth certificate is on file in Porterville, Colorado,

where I was born.

62 years ago.

Alana, what are the ingredients in this?

It's a kind of wrinkle cream.

Wouldn't you like to know?

That's certainly a triumph for you, my darling.

Oh, thank you, Arthur.

Please, sit down.

You know how I hate to have people read over my show.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yes, you're right.

I'm sorry.

You know, I can't help feeling concerned about this formula being right here.

It's right here in the house, particularly after they tried to break into your office.

Well, the formula's in my safe.

You, of all people, should know how hard it is to get into my bedroom.

Oh, come on, damn it.

Alana, that isn't funny.

Arthur, I'm talking about the security system.

You have gotten so short-tempered.

I used to be able to turn to you for help, for guidance, for support.

Yeah, for money.

It was never just the money, Arthur.

But now all I get from you is whining.

Listen, snide little rat.

Who?

Harley Griswold.

This time he has gone too far.

What did he say?

Uh, never mind.

Eric, have my car brought around in five minutes.

Yes, ma'am.

Are you going?

Wait, the caterer is coming with designs for the birthday cake.

Uh, that's all right, that's all right.

They know what I want.

And, uh, don't bother to wait up for me.

I'll be late.

Do you have something to do?

Yes, sir.

Then do it.

Yes, sir.

Harley, darling, are you talking about me?

Alana, my angel, you don't look a day older in considering the vital statistics.

That's quite an achievement.

You know Beverly Courtney, don't you?

How are you, darling?

Harley, I want to talk to you.

I'm so serious.

I wonder if she's miffed because I'm having lunch with another of my lovely admirers.

Oh, Harley, you're such a tease.

Tease isn't exactly the word I had in mind.

Have you read Shirley's column today?

I have.

You're in it.

What did I say this time?

Nothing terrible, I hope.

Harley's always saying terrible things.

Beverly, darling, shut up.

According to a well-connected writer friend, a certain cosmetic queen's

dramatic revelation of her true age couldn't have come at a better time.

Rumor has it that recent financial drains have left her beauty empire teetering on the verge of bankruptcy.

You don't think that I tell Shirley about your financial problems, do you?

Let's see, a well-connected writer friend.

Why, Harley, I do believe you are the only writer I know, and you are certainly the

only person who knew that I was having financial problems.

That is, of course, until this came out.

Alana, I swear I never said a word to Shirley.

At least not that I can recall.

Harley, you know, you drink too much.

And darling, when you drink too much, you talk too much.

Alana, my darling, what can I do to win your forgiveness?

You can drop dead, darling.

Beverly, I do hope you'll think twice before you tell him any secrets.

You never know what might turn up in print.

Darling?

It's lunchtime.

I ain't starving.

I don't believe you.

You couldn't be 62.

Oh, I don't look too bad, do I?

For my age.

That cream is really a miracle.

You must rub it all over your body.

Doesn't it ever bother you to be sleeping with someone almost tall enough to be your grandmother?

I haven't even thought about it.

Do you want to know what I do think about it?

Why don't you tell me?

Tell me.

That was a very effective little job you did the other night.

Well, you said you wanted the break in an attempt to look realistic.

You were right to get your valuables out of that safe.

The security around here stinks.

Yeah, you certainly proved that to my satisfaction.

Uh, what about that other little matter I asked you to look into?

Well, it took some digging.

But I think I found what you were looking for.

It's not going to make you happy.