Landscapers

Left stage!

Action! Rain.

Market Square, action!

Action!

- (CELLPHONE RINGS) Uh-huh.

Ah... Shit. - (CELLPHONE RINGS)

Ah. - (CELLPHONE RINGS)

Uh... Hello? Douglas speaking.

(OVER PHONE) Oh, hello. It's Susan Edwards.

I understand you're being offered as-- as my, um...

Yes, that's right. My name is Douglas Hylton.

I'll be coming in to help you tonight, Mrs. Edwards.

Oh, Susan's fine.

Oh. Okay, thanks. Um...

Well, if you'd like, I'll be representing you

- for the foreseeable-- Oh, good, because...

you've heard, I think, that my husband and I

have got ourselves into a bit of a pickle.

- I know it sounds all rather... Susan. Susan?

- ...morbid-- - Uh-- Sorry to interrupt you,

and thank you for calling me, but I'm actually, uh,

walking to you right now, so if that could just wait for a minute.

Yeah, I mean, obviously we regret... I mean--

I mean, we should have done certain things differently.

I-- I think we're both happy to admit that.

Well, "ha--" "happy" is hardly the word, is it?

(OVER PHONE) So-- So--

So, I can hear you've got a lot to get off your chest,

but, um, really,

- it's, uh... - It is just very complicated, Douglas,

and I'm very keen for--

But it's my husband, really, Chris, he just...

- he shouldn't be here. - Sus-- Susan? Susan?

- Sorry, can I just-- - So I feel, for his sake,

everyone should know the truth from the outset.

- Uh... Uh-- Uh-- Susan? - Yes?

It-- It's-- It's-- It's just... This isn't a private call

because I'm not actually your representative yet.

Uh... That's what I'm coming to do now,

you see, to take your instruction,

and then I can...

- Does that make sense? - I see, yes.

- Sorry. Silly old me. (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES)

- (DOOR SLAMS) - Look, I-- I can sense we're gonna get on, Susan.

- I'll speak to you very soon. - Thank you.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (DOOR SLAMS)

- (BELL RINGS) - (DOOR OPENS)

Bonjour, Madame. - Bonjour.

(IN FRENCH)

(IN FRENCH)

(IN FRENCH)

Ah... (IN FRENCH)

Of course, but I think you mentioned

this one. He's one of your favorites.

Gary Cooper. - Oh...

It's an original, from the second Belgian release.

- The second Belgian release? - Mm-hmm.

Aside from everything else.

For you, madame, I'll make a special price.

- Two hundred fifty. - Oh, no, um,

- Francois, it's too much. Sorry. - How about 200?

I could possibly stretch to 100, but...

Madame... (EXHALES) ...for you, I'll make it 150,

'cause I know this will make you happy

- and that makes me happy too. - (CHUCKLES)

- (CHUCKLES) - (CLICKS TONGUE)

Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Uh-- If you use the card, it must be 170, madame.

Oh, okay. (INHALES)

Merci. - Merci beaucoup.

Mm-hmm.

- Salut, mon cher. - (LAUGHS)

- Hello, darling. (KISSES) - Mm-hmm. (KISSES)

That's a nice greeting.

- Good morning? - Um... It's okay, I think.

- Lovely. - (GROANS)

- I've made sandwiches. - Thank you.

And there's soup from last night if you want it.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

- (KEYS THUD ON TABLE) What's in the sarnies?

Tuna and sweetcorn on normal bread.

Found some in the English section

- at the Monoprix. - Oh, lovely.

Yes. Yes, yes. I felt I made...

a good impression. Oh, and my French

- is really improving, actually. - Ah!

- Drink? - Yes, please.

So, I've got another one this afternoon

which I'm hoping will go even better. Mmm.

Oh, yes. Look, Chris!

It's just like the one I had on my bedroom wall

- as a little girl... - (PAPER RUSTLING)

...that my grandfather brought me.

It wasn't in French, but look!

Same image.

- How much was it? Oh, it was nothing.

Twenty euros? It's not an original.

You know, Susan, even 20 euros,

there'll be a final demand for the gas in there,

and I'm the one who's gotta open them

and sort it out.

- Is that from Gérard? - You open it.

Well, no, it's-- it's for you.

Hmm.

My God. A hundred euro.

See, crosspatch? Didn't I say?

Things around here are about to change.

Well, it's only a hundred, Susan.

- But it's a start, isn't it? - Of what?

We're way behind on the rent, and if I don't get a job--

But you will get a job. That's what I mean.

Yes, well, I'm trying... trying my hardest.

Come on, then. What's Gérard got to say for himself?

Read it out loud. I'm listening.

I'll look at it later.

Susan?

Why don't you, uh...

Why don't you put that thing up? (EXHALES)

Silly, keeping it hidden away now you've got it.

Yes. Good idea.

Who wouldn't give this handsome man a job, hey?

We'll celebrate afterwards in the café.

- (SPEAKING IN FRENCH) - (CHUCKLES)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (MACHINE BUZZES)

- (ELEVATOR BELL RINGS) - (DOORS OPEN)

Christopher Edwards?

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Vous pouvez répéter la question?

S'il vous plaît.

Go on, Chris. You can do it.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (DUCKS QUACK)

Mon cher, Chris.

Please find enclosed 100 euros,

a small token of my gratitude for your eternal friendship.

As you will know from my movie, we have a saying in France,

"La vie en rose."

The meaning of this phrase

is to look up at the stars instead of in the gutter,

to see the beauty that exists in life,

even when it is difficult to find...

perhaps sometimes even when it is not there.

This is the purpose of stories and the purpose of cinema,

but more than this, it is the purpose of love,

and to be loved is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Yours sincerely, Gérard Depardieu.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (TRAIN SCREECHES)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (PHONE RINGING TONE TRILLS)

- (PHONE IS PICKED UP) Hello?

Hello? Is that Tabitha?

Speaking. Who's that?

That's not you, is it Chris?

- Yeah. It's me. Chris?

Yes.

Uh... Um... (EXHALES)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER PA) - (EXHALES)

Listen, I'm sorry it's been so long. (CHUCKLES)

Where are you? - Uh... I'm-- I'm in France.

Are you with Susan? - Yeah.

I've just-- I've just been for a-- a-- a-- a job interview,

actually.

Yeah, a-- a fairly senior credit control position.

You know, but the truth is, what with the, um...

the, um, the language barrier,

um... we-- we're in a bit of financial, um...

you know-- Uh... What am I saying? (HESITATES)

There's-- There's this cashflow situation,

um, and believe me, we-- we-- we-- we're very grateful

for all the help you've given us in the past.

- (METAL CLANKS) - (GROANS)

Chris? - Oh, um...

Is everything okay? - No, I'm sorry. I'm still here.

Yeah, um...

Uh... It's just, I need you to...