Futurama

This has been a test of the Emergency Hypnotoad System.

Had this been an actual hypnosis,

you would go limp and watch whatever crap comes on next.

Coming up next, Futurama!

Professor, my Fry-fro is all frizzy.

Okay.

Well, that's all.

Also, I'm covered with severe burns.

So? What of it?

Well, why is those things?

You mean, you don't remember?

Nope. Nothing. It's like when I passed out in college,

except no one drew Magic Marker penises on my forehead.

Well, (SIGHS) I suppose it's for the best,

considering the unbearable horrors you've endured.

Let's never speak of it again.

It all began a few days ago.

We were interstellar fugitives on the run from the law.

Fire all weapons and open a hailing frequency for my victory yodel.

And so, as you and Leela kissed goodbye

in a tender display of tonguesmanship,

we plunged into a massive wormhole, never to be seen again.

Yeah, we're back.

Sweet coincidence of Port-au-Prince, we're back at Earth!

Of course!

That was the Panama wormhole! Earth's central channel for shipping.

How humorous.

Yes, it's sort of a Comedy Central channel.

And we're on it now!

I get it!

We've lost power to the forward Game Boy.

Mario not responding!

Brace for emergency landing!

Roger that. Activate safety spheres!

Also, mine has air conditioning.

Yet, thanks to my trusty safety sphere,

I sublibed with only tribial brain dablage.

And the others?

Right here, behind this horror-cloth.

Are they dead?

No, no, no, no. Much worse.

Move over, God! Prepare for rebirth!

Wrong switch.

Come on, stem cells, work your astounding scientific nonsense.

Fetal stem cells?

Aren't those controversial?

In your time, yes, but nowadays, shut up!

Besides, these are adult stem cells

harvested from perfectly healthy adults

whom I killed for their stem cells.

Hermes Conrad!

Man! I'm dripping with placenta.

Good thing it's Casual Friday.

Amy Wong!

Ooh! Baby soft.

Indeed.

Dr. Zoidberg!

Hermes, my friend. Let me cut off your umbilical cord.

Oops.

And the rest!

Hooray! We're back in business.

Over my dead body.

Uh, never mind.

Bender, are the stem cells working? Ow!

I'm dying.

I need mouth-to-ass resuscitation.

I'm on it!

It's not working!

I die happy knowing you fell for that.

His power supply is shut. He's flatlining!

Only one thing can keep him alive.

Possibly this thing.

Whoo! I've never felt so energetic!

That's because the doomsday device I shoved all up in you

puts out 50 gigawatts.

That's 10 times your recommended...

Who are you, my warranty?

That was a good...

Huh?

For God sakes, Bender, keep dancing!

Keep whooping it up!

You must burn off the doomsday energy as fast as it's produced,

or it will build to critical levels!

You don't mean...

Oh, but I do.

If you stop partying for a single second,

you'll explode and kill everyone here

in a fireball of melted gears and splattered bowels!

Sounds like a party, baby! Ooh, yeah!

Hey, speaking of splattered bowels,

can I cook you a romantic dinner tonight, Leela?

Where's Leela?

Is she okay?

Why hasn't she acknowledged my dinner offer?

Something's wrong!

She's not responding to my poking stick.

Poke harder, damn it!

I'm poking as hard as I can!

I'm sorry, Fry, but I'm afraid Leela is in an irreversible coma.

Coma, coma, coma, coma, coma chameleon

My soul mate is gone. Why should I go on living?

Because the pain slowly fades, but the love is forever.

Yow!

But what if I forget the sweet sound of her voice,

or the moist touch of her eyeball on my lips?

Are you still hung up on what's-her-name? Move on already!

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I'm always right.

"Build-a-Bot Workshop."

It's time to start living again.

At least it's something to distract me from Leela.

Nah.

Now, that I like for some reason.

I like jelly beans. Do you?

I sure do, honey.

Come now, Fry, you can't live out this sick fantasy.

Not without our help.

These security tapes record everything at Planet Express,

including the ship, shower and urinals.

And yet, it still hasn't stopped the elusive bathroom burglar.

Maybe he's just trying to feed his family.

Computer, analyze tapes and extract

personality profile of one Turanga Leela.

Analyzing. Analyzing. Checking my eBay bid.

Damn it! Analysis complete.

Hey, I was nuzzling that.

Attributes transferred. Shoe size 12. Et cetera.

Brace for emergency landing!

What? We survived the crash?

Oh, Fry!

Party people in the house say...

This is wonderful.

The last thing I remember, I was dying in an explosion.

Yet, here I am in the flesh, more alive than ever.

Alive?

You better tell her, Fry.

Tell me what?

Anyway, my work is done. I'm gonna hit the showers.

Nibbler. Come, give Mama a hug.

What the... Bad Nibbler! Bad Nibbler!

What're you doing, pooper doodle?

It's me, Leela!

Am I really just a robot?

I mean, I have Leela's memories.

Her opinion of gazelles, majestic.

Her emotions, confused and hurt.

I swear, I didn't know this would happen.

The only thing I truly know is I love you.

I mean, her. Wait, help me out here.

Do the Bender! Do the Bender!

No, thank you.

I said, do it!

The truth is, Fry, I still have feelings for you.

But are they really my feelings?

Am I just an automaton,

or can a machine of sufficient complexity

legitimately achieve consciousness?

I agree.

I need some time to figure this out. Until then, friends?

Okay.

Listen up, disco dummies!

You just flunked out of Bender's College of Party Knowledge.

Yeah, baby!

Do the back dance, do the back dance.

Good news, everyone.

I'm going to make one final attempt to awaken Leela.