Reservation Dogs

Aho!

Young and old warriors!

You little ones out there, you girthy ones,

you tall ones, you short ones,

you full-blood ones, you disenrolled ones,

you pretend ones,

the ones that were never enrolled in the first place

but you can still prove your descendancy,

good to see you.

- -

Welcome to the spirit world.

As you may know...

my name... William Knifeman.

I'm here to continue the story, a story as old as time.

A story as fresh as mountain dew.

A story that happened yesterday.

Or maybe it happened last week.

Or maybe it has yet to even happen.

Oh, fuck.

So, let's get to it.

Go, you little shit. Come on.

People are watching.

Last time we saw those little Rez Dog shits,

they were all happy.

Just frolicking in the ocean.

It made me cry little spirit tears to see them like that.

- Love you, bitch. - Their car was stolen.

- That was literally all... - They had no money.

- We're not going back. - And the young brave warrior

named Bear decided he wasn't going to go home.

And why should you care? I mean,

it's not like some of your ancestors stole this land

and then forced us to live on reservations, right?

And so, the story continues.

Are we watching our little Baby Bear Cub

become a man before our eyes?

Did he go see his dad? He did.

Yeah.

Sure you didn't just dial the wrong number?

I told you, I called the number I had saved on my phone.

He just... must have changed it or something.

Fuck, if he doesn't answer, let's go find White Jesus, bro.

He's gonna answer.

Hold the fuck on, goddamn.

- Fuck? -

Hey, I said be careful.

What?

- Hi. - Hi.

Um, I'm-I'm looking for Punkin.

- Punkin? - Mm-hmm.

Haven't seen him in about a week.

Took off with his so-called manager on tour up in Oakland.

Piece of shit hasn't called once.

Why?

Um, no reason. I was just looking for him.

He said that I can c... I-I c-can come by

and record a song.

- - So, yeah, um...

But if he's not here, it's-it's all good.

Thanks.

Sorry about that. Yeah.

Eh, it was kind of uneventful.

But more on that later.

I bet you're wondering what happened

after that fateful moment,

'cause like any beautiful,

long-haired, wonderful-looking Indigenous storyteller,

I'm gonna drop you right in the middle of the action.

Aho!

Listen, I don't do too well in the back of cars.

- I get carsick. - Hey, you about to be sick?

Hey, for real, don't puke in my car. I got a date later.

You're riding the brake.

- Stop doing that. - You ever driven in L.A.?

If you don't ride the brake, you might die.

Oh, my God.

Hey, do I need to pull over?

No, just drive.

- Can you turn that down? - You don't like my music?

I have an audition later, it helps gets me in the headspace.

I have a phone call.

Got it.

- Did you get them yet? - Uh, no, almost there.

You tell Bear he is grounded for a year.

- I will. - He can do whatever he wants

when he gets out of my house, but until then,

he will obey my rules.

All right, Rita, I got to go. I'm getting carsick.

Brethren, sistren,

- do not fret. -

You'll always have a home in my manger.

Surprisingly, it was comfortable.

Ah, it's anointed, my son.

Man, I can't spend another night in a manger.

- Aww. - For real.

- -

- There she is. -

Ew.

Oh, they must've drugged her.

Auntie.

Fuck, they got her, man.

Ride the wave.

Auntie, you okay?

See, kids,

this is why we don't do drugs.

You never know what's in them.

I'm not on drugs. His driving made me sick.

Ah, L.A. drivers. Mm.

Who are you?

- Who is this? - Our friend.

- White Jesus. - A street person.

At thou service.

At thou service.

- You kids okay? - At thou service.

What the hell are you doing in L.A.?

We just came to...

We came to say goodbye to Daniel.

It was his wish was to come

- to California. - Then we got jacked.

So you just leave without telling anyone?

I told my grandma.

I'm excited to go home.

I've never flown before.

Yeah, we flying in the sky.

I'm-a order all the peanuts and all the pretzels.

Gonna stash some, take some home.

- Peanuts? - Mm-hmm.

Airplane? Fuck, we're not flying.

You know how much that'll be for all those tickets?

Well, what, then, we renting a car?

No. Bus.

Yes.

The best way to travel.

You really get to see so-called America like that.

Why are you here?

I am merely a guide for the young ones.

Guiding them to safety.

Speaking of which, can I have a couple of bucks?

Let's go.

White Jesus, man,

don't make me cry.

- Cry not. - I hate goodbyes.

Fear not, young one.

Ah, Beartholemu,

remember to lead with your heart.

Elora Danan.

Drink it in. Yes.

You'll be an adult soon.

- Here you go. Here. -

Blessings.

Thanks for watching out for them.

I will eat two hot dogs in your honor today.

And in honor of your journey.

- Thank you, White Jesus. - Bye, White Jesus.

- Later. - Travel well. - Get me to a shower.

- He was nice. - Yeah, he was a nice guy.

- Ugh. Take us home. - It's cool.

We should write a book about him.

Ooh. Hookah.

Oh. Oh, hey, there.

Hey, I know, I know, I know, I threw a lot at you

in that first three minutes, right?

Yeah. But you have to trust me.

I'm an Indigenous storyteller, to the bone.

I'm like a, I'm like a Greek chorus,

but with a loincloth. Yeah.

But back to our young ones.

The little rez rats. Where are they now?

Taking that long journey home, that long road east.

In that sacred way, leaving behind some of their pains.

But maybe carrying some difficulties with them

into the future.

Bro. I want that.

Okay.

I didn't know you could draw like that.

Well, I've been practicing, um...

My grandma goes to bed around 8:00,

so a lot of time...

Fuck, you're deadly.

Do you ever think about Bear and Elora leaving?

What you mean?

Well, I mean, I think about all of you leaving.

I mean, I'm younger than everyone and...

Plus, Grandma won't be around forever.

Fuck it, I'm not going anywhere.

Yeah, L.A. was cool, but...

it just made me appreciate home more.

You think Bear and Elora will go?

Yeah.

Probably.

I won't leave you in the dust.

- -