Twisted Metal

Hello.

Ah!

The lovers.

What exactly can I do for you?

So here's the deal. Quiet made a wish,

then I came back, and I made another wish.

It was a simple mistake,

heat of the moment type thing.

I want the walls to come down just like Quiet.

So I'm here to undo my wish. Nothing major.

This is very serious.

I gave you strict instructions.

- One wish per car. - I know. It was a mistake.

That's why I want to take my wish back.

- I mean... - Do you really want that?

It is your sister, after all.

And you?

You let him make this sacrifice?

It was a big lie,

but he must have really wanted her back.

Yeah, but Krista...

It's my sister. It's my choice.

If you want to solve your wish problem...

...drink from the well.

That well?

Mm-hmm.

All right, that's it.

Everything will be taken care of.

Really?

Easy peasy.

You run along now.

Oh, and...

...have fun tonight.

If he has something "fun" planned,

we are fucked.

Nothing like a little calm before a storm.

Wow. This bleach stuff is great.

I wonder if it'll clean my insides.

O-kay...

"Duh... deh..."

"Dearest drivers.

"Tonight, we will be celebrating

"the annual wintertide solstice promenade."

"We will honor the transition of the seasons

"with music, dance, and general revelry."

Ooh! Did you say "party"?

Lucky for you, I love dirty dancing.

I'm not surprised about the dirty part.

You haven't washed in days.

And I'll pass on the dancing.

We'll see about that.

"Please use the contents of this stunningly crafted chest

"to ready yourself and meet outside the gym at 8:00 PM."

"Warm Solstice,

"Calypso."

So the next round is a party.

John, we fucked with this man's game.

So, no, I don't think this next round is just a party.

Well, it can't be that bad.

I'm not taking any chances.

Oh, sh--

Okay, so maybe there is a dance portion.

Wait, did you say wintertide solstice promenade?

I've always wanted to do a prom episode,

but I never got the chance.

But I've seen every one.

Oh... tonight is going to be magical.

I'm gonna own the dance floor

like Carlton Banks in Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Ain't that right, Harold?

Aw, my own little Jazzy Jeff.

All right, I need your opinion.

Do I go cocktail casual, or Transylvania chic?

I'll go with, uh, Transylvania chic.

Ah, you don't know anything.

Prom is for the classics.

Time to stun these hos.

Damn.

Ew, get a life.

I am so getting my eggs fertilized tonight.

Hmm, time to party.

Ah, quit fiddling.

Let Pop Pop do it.

Long over short, then through the hole,

and back--

Ah, fuck it. You know what?

If Ricky didn't need a tie in My So-Called Life,

neither does my Stu.

Yo!

Purple suit. Looking sharp, Stu.

- It's plum. - Plum, huh?

- Like the fruit. - Yeah, I got it.

Sexy ass suit, check.

Handsome son of a bitch to fill it in,

double check.

How great is this?

I mean, the invites, the suits. Oh...

It's like I'm in a fairy tale.

Ugh, God, this is fucking lame.

Whoa.

Is there breeze in here?

- You look amazing. - Thanks.

Chopping it up kind of worked out.

Also...

- It'll still hide my hatchet. -Oh.

This dress fits like shit.

I think that's because you have it on backwards.

Here, let me help you.

How did you do this?

Please, enter the gymnasium.

Beautiful.

Oh, very handsome.

Well, here we fucking go.

Lovely. Very dapper.

Welcome to the wintertide solstice promenade,

a celebration dating back to the Roanoke Colony.

And back then, we-- They...

...would gather to honor life's transitions,

the moments we all share in common.

And this eve, we honor the death of autumn,

and celebrate the birth of winter.

We honor the dead with our own offering...

...of life.

I wonder what we're offering.

Oh, good. It's blood.

Who's next?

I got a splinter.

Right or left?

I think we can skip you.

Cal, I got to tell you, loving the theme.

Also, you are a masterful storyteller.

Hmm. Thank you.

To those who have fallen.

Thank you for your offering.

Hmm. All better.

My, uh, splinter didn't disappear.

Now, there has been much death,

and there will be more, but tonight?

Tonight...

...is for the living.

Let's party!

Come on. Don't be shy.

- Yes! - Go dance.

It's all happening.

Ah! It's all happening!

Have an hors d'ouevres.

Pinwheel?

What the fuck?

Hey, everybody, get over here

and make a damn circle around me.

Saw that.

And I...

...absolutely approve.

Ooh, all right.

Who's ready to make some precious memories?

Oh, hell yeah!

Let's go!

Hey, I don't know, man.

You sure it's not going to melt our eyes or something?

Stu.

Get in here, man.

Hey, Stu, you got to get in here.

It's not the three bromigos without you.

So get your purple tushy in here, man.

Hey, if you guys want to be the ugliest ones in the photo,

I'm happy to oblige.

Get your ass in here right now.

You can sit on my lap.

- Okay. - Put your butt towards us!

Okay.

Let's switch hats.

Aah!

This is the best night of my life.

Have you seen this spread?

- What are you doing? - Ow! What?

They put marshmallows inside of cereal.

I'm but a mere man!

Wait. Did you want one?

No.

And you shouldn't have one either.

It's probably laced with something.

- Hmm. - Or the DJ is spinning

subliminal messages in his beats,

and when the bass drops, we're all gonna kill ach other.

Maybe. But I'm gonna eat this.

I'm just saying, something is up.

No, I get that.

Like when it seems all good on the outside,

but on the inside, there's a surprise waiting.

Like these tasty pig in a blanket.

Hmm?

Come on.

Mm-mm-mm-mmm.

Come on. They're good.

I've had, like, six of them.

You're acting like nothing's wrong.

Something's always wrong.

It's been that way our entire lives.

Now, sure, Calypso might try some shit,

but tonight, I'm here with you right now.