Mom

Hi, I'm Bonnie and I'm an alcoholic.

Hi, Bonnie.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I really miss my boyfriend.

Marjorie, do me a favor,

after the meeting, tell everybody what a record is.

Anyway...

he and I tried to do the Skype thing,

but I can just feel it slipping away,

so right now, I'm just about as low as I've ever been.

There's really only one thing that's bringing me any joy at all.

This cream filling.

And without a boyfriend, it's the only cream filling I'm getting.

Thank you.

Anybody want to follow that?

What the hell. Christy, alcoholic.

Hi, Christy.

I know I'm usually all doom and gloom, but not today.

Today I am cheerful, not fearful.

Happy, not crappy.

- Delighted, not... - We get it. We get it.

I officially got accepted into Sonoma State University.

Go Seawolves.

So, starting this fall,

I will be one step closer to my dream of becoming a lawyer.

But wait, there's more.

My daughter's getting married in a few weeks,

and, get this, she doesn't have to get married, she's doing it by choice.

That's a family first.

Of course, I did drop four grand on her wedding dress,

and I will probably have to rob a bank to pay my tuition,

but I refuse to let money worries ruin my good mood.

That's what my mom is for.

Who else would like to go?

I'll go. Hi, I'm Jill, I'm an alcoholic.

- What are you doing? - I'm sorry, it's all I got.

Mmm. Mm.

I hope you're aware you're eating your feelings.

Hey, I got to put something in my mouth. My boyfriend's in Croatia.

Nice, Mom. Classy.

No, no, they don't make French fries for happy people.

Violet. What's going on? Are you okay?

No!

Aw, what happened?

Gregory broke up with me. The wedding is off.

Oh, my God.

Would it be okay if I moved back in with you?

Now you may have a fry.

So what did the bastard do?

We don't know that he's a bastard.

He's seeing someone else.

That bastard.

What tipped you off?

Does he come home, take a shower, then go straight to bed,

too tired for sex 'cause he had a rough day at work?

Mom, this isn't about what men have done to you.

I'm talking about what I've done to men.

Has he lost weight lately? Did he join a gym?

Yeah, he has.

Teeth whitening strips or did he go to the dentist?

He went to the dentist!

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.

Wait, before we bury this relationship,

have you and Gregory talked about going and seeing a therapist?

Mom, he doesn't love me anymore. Just let it go!

How much did you spend on the wedding dress?

Shut up.

- How much time do we have? - Not a lot.

Let's just grab her stuff and get out.

What about those big potted plants in the lobby?

We're not here to just randomly steal things.

Then why'd you bring me?

Hello?

Gregory?

We're good.

You get Violet's clothes, I'll get the rest of her stuff.

Got it.

- Christy? Are we just gonna get her - Yeah?

things, or are we gonna go all helter-skelter on the joint?

Just getting her things.

We'll revisit it on the way out.

Does Violet drink espresso?

I don't know, maybe.

Then this is probably hers.

You're eating his food?

May I remind you that cheating son of a bitch

broke your daughter's heart.

Clear out the fridge.

I feel like we hit the jackpot at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

You think that's Violet's giant flat screen TV?

It's bigger than ours, so yes.

Oh.

Hello.

Phyllis, hi.

We didn't expect to see you here.

Yeah, I get that from the looting.

We're just getting my daughter's things.

And some of my son's.

I gave him that espresso machine.

Oh. Sorry, it looks just like the one we gave Violet.

Okay, we're just gonna take this stuff out to the car,

and then I'll come back for the rest of Violet's clothes.

I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Yeah, me too, but what are you gonna do? Your son met someone else.

What?

Please.

My Gregory with two women at the same time?

Two donuts, maybe.

That's what Violet said.

Are you saying my daughter lied to me?

Yeah.

Or maybe you raised a scumbag of a son.

Oh, now he's a scumbag?

You really don't have a second gear, do you?

Well, what did Gregory tell you?

My son, who has never lied to me,

told me that Violet has been drinking a lot

and doing the pot and the ecstasy.

Okay, first of all, there's no "the" in front of pot and ecstasy.

You would know.

And I think I would know if Violet had a problem.

You sure about that?

You know what, Phyllis? I've got a daughter at home crying her eyes out.

I am not gonna stand here and argue with you.

- I'll stay. - Come on!

Screw her, blaming Violet.

Well, wait till she realizes she's having mustard for dinner.

And we're taking those plants.

I said I'd know if Violet had a problem with drugs and alcohol,

but the more I think about it, I'm not sure.

Oh, come on. Are you gonna listen to Mahjong Sally?

Why would she lie?

Well, she's just repeating what Gregory told her.

We're just repeating what Violet told us.

So, who you gonna believe?

I want to believe my daughter, but, you know,

when has that ever worked out?

- Mom? - In the kitchen.

This might get heavy. Will it bother you if I make popcorn?

- Did you get all my stuff? - It's on the sofa.

And in the fridge.

You didn't happen to see Gregory, did you?

No, but we ran into his mother.

Really? What'd she say?

Well, she kind of had a different take on things.

What does that mean?

She said that the reason you and Gregory broke up was because...

you've been partying a lot.

And you believed her?

No, but I think it's worth having a conversation.

Why don't you ever take my side? You always think the worst.

Well, then tell me otherwise. Tell me you're not getting loaded.

I shouldn't have to. I think you should just trust me.

- I do, it's just... - I am in college, Mom.

I go out with my friends, we have drinks.

Occasionally, we'll smoke a little bit of pot.

We are not all drunks and drug addicts like you two!

Hey! I only did drugs to manage my alcoholism.

So what do you think?

I don't know. I want to believe her.

- But do you? I asked you first. - Do you?

If I'm gonna be honest, I'm worried.

Think we should ask her to go to an AA meeting with us?

Be kind of cool. We'd have our own row.