Mozart in the Jungle

It's easier with the lips slightly wet.

In through the nose...

Out through the mouth.

Remember, each breath is a bridge to another breath.

- - Each breath is a bridge.

All right, Duncan, I think that's enough for today.

Duncan, listen to me.

Yes, Miss Rutledge.

Tomorrow's a really important day, okay?

For both of us. Everyone's coming.

Your grandmother is coming.

So can you do me a really big favor, please?

Try and practice before bed...

just a little.

I will, certainly.

Um, did your mom leave a check?

Oh. Yeah.

- _ - _

Ew.

I hope I wasn't too fast for you.

Oh, no, I thought you were rather sluggish tonight.

After you, maestro.

- Beautiful, as always. - Thank you. Thank you.

- Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you.

Good luck.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Joshua Bell.

Safe trip to Beijing tonight.

Well...

As most of you know,

tonight's concert marks the final performance

that I shall give as the conductor

of this very fine orchestra.

- - Thank you.

Thank you.

Now, just because you won't see me here,

it doesn't mean to say that I won't be here.

In fact, it's just the opposite.

I have gratefully accepted the newly minted role

of executive musical director emeritus...

- Whatever the hell that means. -

Before I do go, I would just like to say

a heartfelt thanks to some

very special people here tonight.

They are my colleagues, my friends...

my family.

They are the men and women of your symphony.

Please.

And now will you please warmly welcome

the woman behind the curtain,

the board chairperson herself, Mrs. Gloria Windsor?

Thank you.

Good evening. Good evening.

Thank you, Thomas, for everything.

And so...

as one movement ends, another must begin.

It is my honor to introduce to you

someone special.

At 12 years old, he was the youngest person

to ever win the Mahler Award for young conductors.

At 23, he conducted at La Scala.

At 25, he lifted the Oslo symphony

out of bankruptcy

and placed them amongst the finest on the world stage.

He has been courted

by Boston,

Los Angeles, San Francisco, Munich,

and we got him.

Please join me in welcoming a man

who need only be introduced by his first name,

your new conductor and musical director...

- Ah! - Rodrigo!

Mwah.

- I love you. -

I love you. I love you.

Oh.

Oh. Aw.

I had to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I love you.

Does he also do children's parties?

I think he's amazing.

That was a great performance tonight, maestro.

Look, Gloria, I love you,

but don't ever underestimate me.

Darling, I think you go to the same hairdresser.

So I'm playing this rich-bitch gig in Sag Harbor,

and the hostess is working my shaft, my balls,

my shaft, my balls, and I'm totally fucking hammered

off of six glasses of Riesling,

and then I pass out.

- And then... - Good night, boys.

- Good night. - Good night, Cynthia.

And then chomp...

Hey, sexy, you going downtown?

Oh, I'm sorry, Cynthia. I'm going uptown.

Shit. I got to be in Times Square in ten minutes.

Two-a-nights?

Oh. Oh, I remember those days.

Here, you take it.

You're fantastic.

Brroklyn, 48th.

Well, Bruno, she played you beautifully.

Ah...

- Bellissima, eh? -

Thomas, darling,

over here.

- Have a good night. - Yes.

Good night, maestro.

- Maestro. - What? What's this?

- The press release. - Oh.

They'll need a quote from you.

My eyes!

Cynthia, you're killing me.

If it wasn't for this pretty young lady,

tonight would've been a disaster.

I owe you.

- May I offer you a ride home? - Easy, Bernard.

- What's your name? - I'm Hailey.

- Hailey, you're coming with me. - Okay.

- Deborah... - You're welcome.

For what?

Keeping Bernard out of your pants.

I thought I knew every oboist in town.

- I'm Cynthia. - Cynthia Taylor, I know.

You're second cello in the New York symphony.

It's a real honor.

You drink, I hope.

- - To Rodrigo!

All: Rodrigo!

I just love these ideas.

They're so fresh, so innovative.

I can see.

Thomas, I'm so glad you came.

- Can we get a glass of champagne? - It won't be necessary.

I won't be staying that long.

Is this a joke?

"Under the guidance of our new conductor,

Rodrigo Desousa,

our coming season will feature some surprising highlights,

such as turning off the house lights

and playing selected pieces in complete darkness. "

We hired Rodrigo to bring new ideas,

a youthful point of view.

You were in on the decision.

You continue to be in on every decision that we make here.

What next?

"Bring a pet to the symphony" day?

Our subscribers, they're not gonna stand for...

Oh, put that champagne down, Sergeant Pepper.

Champagne is for celebrating,

and I don't consider the erosion

of a magnificent institution like this...

Stop being so dramatic.

I'm gonna go.

Thank you, Gloria. Thank you.

It's been lovely. Maestro, court, grazie.

Grazie.

Haven't you got anything to say for yourself?

In English, preferably.

Emily Wu, the first violin,

she played sharp 17 times in the first movement alone.

And then the horns came a bar late,

which completely threw off the clarinet,

and we weren't able to perceive

Tchaikovsky's desired dynamic shift from bars 27 to 34.

And Bruno, Bruno Cassel,

the bass player...

He's old.

He can barely hold his bow.

I don't know who you were torturing more...

me or him.

You prick.

Changes will be made.

And, maestro, I hope I don't disappoint you

or the values of this great institution.

Hailey Rutledge, oboist.

Yeah, that's my parents' idea of a Christmas present, so...