Fine Wine

In my culture, it is often said that

twenty friends can help play together for twenty years.

That is true.

You and I have, however, defiled that truth.

We have been friends for more than 20 years.

And I know I don't say this often,

or celebrate you much for that matter,

but you're an amazing friend.

A business partner.

So as you clock the golden age

with an additional five years,

I wish you joy beyond words,

continued success and achievements.

By the way, I'm proud of you for being on the Forbes List

of 100 Most Influential business men in Africa.

That was for those who live under a rock in a mottled hill.

Above all, I pray you find happiness that warms your heart

and gives you pleasure.

Can you please stop dyeing your beard?

Maybe now you'll finally get older.

Happy birthday.

Hey guys.

‎Man of the Hour.

You mean, Man of the Day?

You know you're trending on Twitter, right?

- Are you serious? -Yup! Your dad is a superstar.

Why won't you just come on Instagram, dad?

‎You'll be celebrated there too.

Cause Instagram is a joke.

‎If you want to have the adult ‎conversations, get on Twitter.

- Excuse me? -You're excused.

So dad, how're you doing?

‪ ‎Oh no! You're not going ‬ ‎to change the topic that easily.

I take exception to that statement, you know.

-Oh my goodness, you're so touchy. - I am not!

‪-Guys, guys, please now. Please.‬ ‪- ‎Take that back, too! ‬

Today is not about Twitter or…

Instagram, or about the two of you, either.

Today is supposed to be about me, your dad. Right?

‎I'm sorry, dad.

But for real though, how're you doing?

‎I see you're in the car. ‎Where are you headed?

-Home! - Already? Is the party over?

-You guys knew about that? - Well, yes.

Uncle Akin told us about it and I told him

‎that I would be out of town ‎for my best friend's wedding.

I'm sorry I wasn't there, dad.

We're all just thankful that you didn't spoil the surprise with your blubbing.

Leave me alone. That only happened that one time.

Anyway, dad. I hope you had fun.

‪Yes, I did. I did. And…‬

How are you, though? How's everything going over there?

Fine. Ugh! I'm sorry I need to go now. The reception is still on and they need me.

I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you! Bye!

I need to go too, dad. I'm meeting some friends at the pub.

‎I just thought to call you ‎before you head out.

Listen, how's work though? And the weather?

-Work is fine. -How's it going?

The weather is crazy, as usual. And I'll call you back later.

-I love you, dad. -Love you, too.

-Bye. -Love you, too.

- -

Tunji.

- Tunji! -Hmm?

-I've been calling you. -What'd you say?

You know, all these guys. You can't even imagine how they make their money.

And they won't tell anybody.

Adebanjo, Danladi…

And even this Mr. George. You know this guy, right? He banks with us.

Are you serious?

I don't know Mr. George, or whatever his name is.

I have been trying to have a conversation with you !

Okay, chill. Relax.

What's up?

‪You were meant to come get me‬ ‪at the salon. What happened?‬

I fell asleep.

Okay.

Let us assume you were sleeping.

When you woke up and saw my missed calls, why didn't you call me back?

Kaima, I woke up like two minutes before you got here.

You're already here. Why are we arguing about this?

Do you want to eat something?

‪Um, I have a bit of pizza‬ ‪left over from earlier.‬

Yeah. I'm kinda hungry. Been at the salon all day.

Okay, um… It's in the freezer.

Just get it out and microwave it. Please bring some for me as well.

Thank you.

Wait, um… You were saying something. Why did you go to the salon, again?

-To make my hair. -Oh, it's new!

Ah, so nice.

You look nice.

Good evening, sir. What would you like to have for dinner?

Uh, Nkem. I won't eat.

There was a mini-party in the office today. It's my birthday.

Oh! Happy birthday, sir.

Thank you.

You can retire for the night. I'm fine.

Okay, sir. Thank you, sir.

Ame.

Look at you. Birthday boy.

You still… dye your beard.

‎It's not going to take away ‎how old you are now, will it, darling?

Thank you, Ame.

Who're you celebrating with? I hear music in the background.

I'm home alone.

Where's that old slag of yours?

She's not an old woman.

Ame, she was five years younger than you.

I could have thought different. She certainly looks way older.

Sure she's not taking care of herself.

So tell me, darling, what happened with her?

‪Well, things didn't work out.‬

Ha! God.

You still don't know how to take care of a woman. Do you, now?

Thank you. Ame, what do you want?

To say, congratulations!

You've made the list. The Forbes List.

I heard you made the Top Hundred African Businessmen.

Hmm. That's a big deal, love.

Thank you.

-Who did you have to pay for it? -Excuse me!

Come on, now, Georgy.

You can't tell me to believe that the man

I married for years, who could not take care of me,

is that rich, he could make the Forbes List.

‎It's the Forbes now, darling. Isn't it?

You're rich, but not that rich. Or are you, now?

Ame, thanks for calling.

-And the kids? -Call them!

I do call them but they hardly speak to me. Not the way they talk to you.

Oh. And whose fault is that?

Certainly yours.

If only you had made the Forbes List…

years ago. Just maybe things would have been different.

Ame. Thanks for calling. Bye.

Tsk.

Oh boy.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

What a day.

Kamsi!

‪ ‬

Kamsi… Kamsi!

- -

Kamsiyochukwu!

‪ ‬

- Kamsi! -

-Mommy, what is it? -Someone's at the door!

Hi.

-Hi, mom. -Hello, Ugo. How are you?

-I'm fine. -Your hair is nice.

-Yes. So pretty. -Thank you.

What?

Where are you going to, looking all dapper tonight?

‪Andrew is taking me out.‬

Oh.

-Okay. -I think… I think that's him at the door.

- Hey! - Mmh.

- Mmh. -

‪You look great!‬

- Thank you! - And you made your hair, too.

All for you, baby.

-Hey! Kamsi, don't kill me. -

Good evening, ma.

-Hmm. I understand. It's cute love. -Sorry.

Good evening, Andrew.

Okay. Well, I'm ready.

And so…

you guys have fun, eh?

-Thank you, mom. -Have fun.

So… are we expecting you back home tonight?

Mom?

Are you saying she should sleep out tonight?

I'll… I'll bring her home.

See, if you can't, don't worry. It's okay.

At least, we know where she is. Hmm?

- Thank you, ma. -Okay.

Please, bring her back home tonight.

- Son, enjoy yourselves. - Okay, Mom.

-Good night. -

-Bye, Mom, Sis. - Okay.

You don't have to come back.

-Mom! -Hmm?

I don't understand.

Are you trying to tell Kamsi to sleep out with a guy?

Guy? Is he just any guy?

Are they not dating? They're dating! They're friends.

So?

Kamsi is still such a little girl. She's not even done with school yet.

And then she has to do her Youth Service, get a job…

And then probably have to think about a guy.