Flirting with Forty

How about this one, Mom?

It's nice, but we need to keep it under 9 feet.

Twelve-footer, ma'am. You won't find a prettier tree than that.

Thanks, but our ceilings aren't that high.

There's another one over here.

How do we get the tree on top of the car?

I don't know.

Mom, I think we should call Dad.

- Hi, Clare. - Why?

To come put the tree on top of the car.

No, Jess, we can do it.

We can't reach. It's heavy, Mom.

No, I'm listening.

Stop talking about him. It makes her feel bad.

I know we decided on a matte finish for the master bath.

I thought you were in Tahiti.

I didn't go. Henry had a meeting in China.

How fast can you get here?

You are so good to come, Jackie,

but the painters took off.

And I have this tasting...

- Hi, kids. - Hi.

...with the caterer for Henry's Christmas party.

I'm so sorry.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Okay.

We just drove a half an hour to get here.

I know, sweetie.

You should fire her.

I can't fire her. She's my client.

So, fire her anyway.

No. She's my boss. It doesn't work that way.

Come on, honey.

Come on, Mom. Careful!

- Mom... - Yeah, I'm fine.

Take this, Will.

Okay.

Okay.

This way.

Okay. So, I'm gonna put this together

and then we'll put the Christmas tree through here.

You guys will lift it up and hold it

and I will tighten the screws.

Well, Daddy has a very smart one.

Yeah, Dad has the new no-tip, no-tilt, tap-a-toe stand.

Well, we have this perfectly lovely little Christmas tree stand

that's been around since before you were born.

It's very old.

Well, we don't trade it in

just because there's something new out there.

So, we are gonna honor this Christmas tree stand.

Even if it is old.

There.

Can we put the lights on?

Yeah.

You know, let's take a break and eat.

No, not yet.

Melinda lets us eat when we want.

Well, that's because Melinda is Daddy's girlfriend and not your mother,

and it's not her job to tell you when to eat. It's mine.

So let's eat.

I just think that when you're dealing with a print fabric,

it's always best to coordinate from the background color.

And keep the accents the same throughout? The magnolia white?

Or Barcelona white, which is warmer.

And one last thing I meant to ask you.

This Christmas party, Jackie, we'd love to have you.

I know it's your first Christmas since the divorce.

Well, thank you. That's so sweet,

but I'm spending Christmas Eve with my kids.

But thanks for thinking of me.

I know how the holidays can be.

Yeah. I appreciate it.

See you in the morning.

Okay.

That looks so good.

Okay, we've got 10 minutes. Will, would you get the music?

- Can I DJ? - Yes, you can.

- Yes. - And Jess...

- Okay, put these two in the dining room. - Okay.

- And that on the bar. That'd be great. - Okay.

- Hi, Daddy. - Hey, Jess. Merry Christmas!

Hi, Melinda.

Merry Christmas.

Hi.

Thought we would save some time in the morning

by delivering the presents tonight.

Dan, my Christmas party's about to start.

It is?

Hi, Melinda.

Hi, Jackie.

Could you just put those presents under the Christmas tree?

That'd be great.

Okay.

I see you got Will a snowboard.

Yeah. I wanted him to have it for the trip.

I thought we said no big gifts. We agreed.

It's not a competition, Jackie.

Can I turn this off?

Yeah, you know what? I'm running late.

Don't let the kids stay up too late tonight.

I need them by 9:00. Flight's at noon.

Jackie, this one's for you.

Daniel said it's your birthday this week.

It is. Thank you.

Turning the big 4-0. Wow.

It's designer sweats. Juicy Couture.

I know how you totally live in your sweatshirt.

So I thought maybe you'd like a new one. A fancier one?

It's really comfy.

Well, that's so thoughtful of you.

Can I open this later?

- Okay. Sure. - Yeah, sure.

Okay. Well, merry Christmas.

- Hey! - No, I'm listening.

So, they're just standing there, waiting for me to open this gift.

What a jerk.

Hey, Will, don't forget next week. Your mom's birthday.

I know.

What a jerk.

- You think it's jerky? - Absolutely.

To come here unannounced with Melinda on Christmas Eve?

Jackie, you're way too forgiving.

I totally would've chewed his head off.

Yeah, but do you think I totally live in this sweatshirt?

You have been in it a lot lately,

and I think I was with you when you bought it 20 years ago.

Give me a break. I didn't have time to change.

But do you... Do you agree with Melinda?

Well, who cares?

Clearly, you're in that "don't pay attention to me

"'cause I'm broken and healing,

"and I'm closed for shop and mentally not interested in sex" phase.

Trust me, you'll get over it.

What are you talking about?

Daniel's girlfriend.

Oh, my God, I meant to tell you.

I saw her at the supermarket last week. She's, like, 16.

Nice, Annie, not helpful.

What? I'm sorry, but it's true.

Jackie's prettier, of course, and smarter.

What was Daniel thinking?

He's thinking she looks like she's 16.

Is Melinda the one-night stand or the other one?

Oh, no, no, no. She's the girlfriend.

Six months, and she's not 16. She's 28.

Does anybody want more champagne?

No, thank you. I'm driving.

No, we're having wine with dinner.

Speaking of which, we gotta get going.

You ready to roll?

No, wait. Where are you going?

Well, we have reservations at 8:00.

Well, I made all of this food for...

You're not leaving, right?

Crap, I'm sorry, sweetie. Are you okay?

You know what? Never mind. Brian and I will stay.

- We can stay, too. - No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry.

You know what? I just didn't want my party to end.

- It's okay. You guys go. - We understand.

Just go. Have a good time.

Sweetie, are you sure? You okay?

You're doing great.

- We'll make it up to you. - Okay.

- Mischa! - Thank you.

You know, we gotta get to the grandparents,

but we'll be back for the leftovers.

Hi, sweetie. Time to go.

- Okay. - Okay.

Yay, yay.

Mom, I'll help.

Oh, no, no. You need your sleep.

It's an early morning tomorrow.

Your birthday's coming up. December 30th?

Yeah. Yeah. Thirtieth.

Maybe we shouldn't go skiing.

Why not?

Maybe we should be here.

For my birthday?

Yeah. I mean, you shouldn't be alone,

like, all by yourself on your birthday.

I'm not gonna be alone. I'll be with my girlfriends.

You don't have to worry about that.

But shouldn't we have a party?

You know what? We'll have cake when you get back.

But you're gonna have some fun on the day, right?

Yes. I am gonna have so much fun

that I'm gonna track you down, call you,

and make you sing Happy Birthday to me.

- Promise? - Promise. Go to bed.

- Night, Mom. - Good night.

- Love you. - Love you, too.

This chocolate Santa was in your stocking.

But you're not really eating sweets, right?

No, you can have it. Just don't eat it for breakfast.

- Yeah. I love you. - I love you.

I love you. I love you.

- Bye, Mom. - I love you, Mom.

I love you, too. Have fun.

Merry Christmas!