The Italian Job

Cheerio, lads.

Keep your voice down, Croker! You're not out yet.

- Sorry, sir. - Good luck, Charles.

Bye-bye, Jack.

Remember me to the old woman, Charlie.

I will, Harry. I will.

Say hello to the big world for me, Charlie.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye, Mr Bridger.

Did you hear that? He said, "Goodbye, Mr Bridger."

Well, he's going, Mr Bridger.

Well, as long as he doesn't come back. That's all I care.

They say he's going to do a job in Italy.

Well, I hope he likes spaghetti.

They serve it four times a day in the Italian prisons.

Charlie.

Well, you're the last person I expected to see, Lorna.

Oh, Charlie, I've been counting the days.

Yeah? Well, why didn't you come and see me when I was inside then?

Charlie, you know that's not my scene.

I mean, can you see me sitting there holding your hands across the table,

with all those weeping wives around with their howling kids,

and then the guards looking at me

as if I've got something hidden up my dress?

- I did miss you, Charlie. - Yeah?

I made an appointment for you to go to the tailor first.

And then you go to the shirt maker and…

This car belongs to the Pakistani ambassador.

- It does? - Typical, isn't it?

I've been out of jail five minutes and already I'm in a hot car.

Charlie, I just wanted you to come out in style, baby.

Take me to my tailor.

Very elegant, sir. I do believe you've put on a little weight.

Yes, well, I've been in America, you see.

It's the bread in the hamburgers.

- Is that so? - Yes.

Well, I'm glad you're out. I mean, back.

I don't want to be rude, Charles, but times have changed.

I'll tell you something, Adrian, when I went in that was all the go.

What did you do? Life?

You know, Charles, you could put all these in a museum.

I'll tell you what I'll do with you, Adrian. I'll tell you what I'll do.

- I'll take this lot now, eh? - Quite revolting.

I'll take this lot now. You wrap them up.

- And do us a favour, Adrian. - Yeah.

Shorten the sleeves will you, love? I'm not a gorilla.

Yes. Yes. Well, there we are, Captain Croker.

I think you'll find we've kept it in perfect tone.

I'll just run the engine for you, shall I?

You'll be able to hear what it sounds like.

There we are. How's that?

- I say. - Yes?

- I say. - Hello?

There you are. I thought I'd lost you for a second.

No, I came round here. I was just thinking,

maybe it needs a little more air…

- Yeah. - …through the second carburettor.

- Do you think so? - Yeah, listen. There.

- Yes, maybe you're right. - Yes.

- Yes. All right, I'll… - No, I'll do it. Just stay there.

Would you open the bonnet for me, please?

- Yes. - Yes, thank you.

- I wonder if you'd hold this for me? - The…

- The bonnet, yes. - Oh, yes, of course.

Thank you.

- I didn't quite… - Yes. There we are.

- Do you want me to just… - Hold. Thank you very much.

- There we are. - Now…

- Yes. I can… - How are you doing?

I can see what's wrong. It's very, very small.

Maybe… I don't know. No, it's all right. Leave it. Leave it.

- Shall I… - Yes, you shut it and I'll lock it all.

Thank you.

How are you doing? All right?

Yes, it's a long time since I was in here.

I dare say. There we are.

I haven't been in this car for so long.

Yes, I gather you've been in India for about two years, sir.

- Yeah, shooting tigers. - Oh, really? Splendid.

The garage bill, sir.

- Yeah? - Well, I'm afraid it's £200.

But, of course, if you insist we can charge it.

No, no. Please, please.

There's a bounty for shooting tigers, you know?

- Well… - Yes, it's £50 a head.

- Really? There's no need to pay… I see. - These are wrapped in bundles of 200.

- Well, there's no need to pay… - No, that's quite all right.

Yes, you must have shot an awful lot of tigers, sir.

Yes, I used a machine gun.

Calling Mr Williams. Mr R. J. Williams.

Will Mr Williams please come to reception…

- Lord Croker. I am expected. - Yes, Your Lordship. Suite 602.

And there's a message.

Thank you.

Hello, Charlie.

Well, shut the door, Charlie. You're gonna cause a terrible draught.

Ladies?

Hey, Charlie.

- Hello, Charlie. - Hi, Charlie.

- Love you, Charlie. - Ciao, Charlie.

- Nice, Charlie. - Good to see you, Charlie.

Sweet, Charlie.

Well, I thought, a coming-out present.

Very nice. Very nice.

- Now, what would you like? - Everything.

- Where's your old man? - He is dead.

In the Alps, in a car crash. It wasn't an accident.

Well, there goes the job, then.

- Wait, Mr Croker. - Yes, Mrs Becker man.

This is for you.

What's this? Some sort of a consolation prize?

These are all the plans that my husband didn't have time to complete.

- He wants you to finish them. - Oh, he does, does he?

Tell me, where do you figure

in the plans your husband didn't have time to complete?

I don't.

I am going to New York tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m.

Pity.

But that still gives us four hours to kill.

And you still in your widow's weeds.

- Charlie Croker, I am dead. - Hello, Roger.

So I have arranged for my widow to deliver some material to you in England.

Yes, I got it.

There you must find the backing to do the job.

You must, Charlie, because it is a work of genius.

Just think of it.

A city in chaos, a smash-and-grab raid

and $4 million through a traffic jam.

$4 million?

This is the city of Turin, the industrial capital of Italy,

the most modern in Europe, famed for its architecture,

and soon, I trust, for the greatest robbery of the 20th century.

This is the Fiat armoured convoy.

It leaves Turin airport every week.

It never carries less than $4 million.

I think we could take that over, Roger.

To reach its destination, the convoy has to travel

through one of the busiest traffic systems in Europe,

a system which is controlled by television cameras

and by the computer in this building, the Turin Traffic Control Centre.

If you can get into this room, Charlie,

you will cause the biggest traffic jam in the history of the world.

Every street in the city will be paralysed,

and then you will have a chance to ambush the convoy.

Very nice.

Now, Charlie, first you neutralise the TV cameras

which overlook the convoy's route.

You do this with these little gadgets here. Look.

- Yeah. - Second,

you break into the computer building and substitute this new programme.

- Got it. - And this causes the jam.

Right.

Third, you attack the convoy in your own inimitable way, Charlie.

And fourth, you escape

on the only route out of the city which is not blocked up with traffic.

You'll find the details of the route in this portfolio.

Within just two hours,

you will be over the Alps and into Switzerland.

And within three, you'll have the money safe and sound in a Geneva bank.

- Make it work, Charlie. - I will, Roger.

$4 million through a traffic jam.

Money received from the collection of Brighton so far is £15,000.

Hello. Camp Freddie?

Charlie Croker. I thought you were in Italy.

- I want to see Bridger. - Mr Bridger to you.

I've got a job.

If it's the GPO, City Road, it's being done next week.

Freddie, this job is bigger than anything Bridger's done up until now.

If it's the Bank of England, it's out.

Mr Bridger's very worried about the economy of the country.

Exactly, Freddie. Now, tell Bridger this is a foreign job

to help with this country's balance of payments.

Charlie, I don't think you have the kind of scheme

that yields the size of profit that Mr Bridger is accustomed to.

But, Freddie, this job is big.

Charlie, you wouldn't even know how to spell big.

B-I-G. Big.

Now then, Butch Harry, tell us about Fulham.

Well, now, Fulham, a bit dodgy at the moment.

How are you? How do you feel about a little outing?

Now I need Hazel. Hazel, my lovely, out you come.

Come on, then, for me. There you are.

It's a long time since you've seen the nightlife, innit, darling?

Wait a minute. Where's my torch? Where's my bloody torch?

- Good evening, Mr Bridger. - Croker.

- Mr Bridger, I've got a job lined up. - Get out of here.

It's all here, maps, drawings, plans, everything.

You've been put up to this, haven't you?

You've been bribed to upset my natural rhythm and ruin my health.

No, Mr Bridger. Mr Bridger, this is important.

$4 million. Europe.

The Common Market. Italy, the Fiat car factory.

- Croker, this is my toilet. - Please. Just read it, Mr Bridger.

Get out.

Are you all right, Mr Bridger? You all right?

He's all right.

I can always take it to the Americans.

They're people who recognise young talent

and give it a chance, they are.

Last night, Mr Governor, my toilet was broken into.