Glass Casa

All units respond.

Here's the story that my uncle told me.

Code blue.

Jamie, you okay?

This is what happened the night I was born.

Jamie.

Jay?

Oh, shit, something's up with her.

I told you this was a bad idea.

Yeah, sorry.

Jamie.

Jamie.

Gotcha.

Oh, my God, very funny.

Yes, yes on time.

Oh, look at her

Okay, come on, come one.

Okay- Bachelorette party.

Bachelorette party.

Come with me if you want to party.

Come on, wait till see this place.

Oh, my God, where are we?

Oh, my God, oh, it's heavy.

Check it out.

Got the whole place to ourselves.

Ta-da. - What?

Oh, my God, what happened to doing something super low-key?

This is gonna be low key AF,

unless we get crazy with the pillow flight.

Ooh, can we tell ghost stories and swap secrets?

Yeah.

Have a seance and eat cookie dough?

Yes.

Mm, creepy.

Ooh.

God, it's freezing, it's like 20 degrees cooler in here.

Grab the stuff,

I'm going to see if I can figure out the heater.

And the hot tub.

This place would actually be perfect

for my murder mystery.

Oh, you two writing a new script?

Oh, just me.

Bianca's too busy with school these days.

Good, I'm glad you found her calling.

Hint, hint.

No, I thought you finally decided

to give writing your all.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't wanna be a burden.

Well, you can't keep bouncing around forever.

And what does Alex think?

Alex is ready to be a dad.

And I hear mama hood is a full-time job.

Wow.

Before Alex, you were a full-time woman-child yourself.

What is that supposed to mean?

It means that he's finally locked Trashy Kitty Jamie

in the litter box.

He's giving you direction, it's a good thing.

Master suite's downstairs.

Suit up.

I get the master suite, I the master suite.

Guys, guys, guys, there's someone down there.

What?

Where?

In one of the rooms, just some fucking dude.

Where did you find this place?

One of Alex's douchey broker friends, Hector Sanchez.

I'm calling the cops, I'm calling the cops.

Please.

No need for that.

I'm sorry to startle.

My name is Charlie, and I come in peace.

So what are you doing here then?

I am just passing through.

I've been traveling, living on the road.

A buddy of mine, Cy Marks,

tipped me off to this sweet vacant crash pad.

Cy Marks?

So wait, what, you're like a squatter?

I prefer location independent.

But this pad is no longer vacant,

so I will go ahead and grab my bag and I will be on my way.

Thank you for not stabbing me.

And best of luck with this beast of a glass casa,

I swear it has a mind of its own.

Hang on.

Do you know how to work the spa?

Yes, I do.

You have to download an app,

and you can control the whole house through that.

I feel kind of bad now,

kicking him out of the only temporary home he's ever known.

How am I supposed to download an app

if I don't have service?

You can't, you need WiFi.

Why doesn't everything have to be so difficult?

He probably knows.

Go, hurry.

You know, dinner and a Korean spa

would've been low-key enough.

At least then there would've been a cold plunge

to dunk Evie and Bianca into if things got heated.

Oh, what was that drama about?

Oh, wow.

Holy Krishna, look at this place.

Oh, you don't wanna touch me, came straight from work.

Oh.

I tried to call and no one answered.

Well, we seem to be in a dead zone.

Hmm.

Who is the scrappy hunk?

I found him in one of the bajillion rooms.

Hmm.

My psychic did say a tall stranger would arrive

around the full moon.

Hmm, well.

His aura prints totally read Gemini.

I like his hat.

Oh, hi.

Slut.

Oh, excuse me, my allergies to horrible people

must be acting up again.

A-Ha-ha.

All right guys, we need to clear the air.

Hash it out right here, right now.

You're both my BFFs, and it's my party,

so you have to do what I say.

I have nothing but love for everyone in this room.

Ditto.

All good in this hood, my friend.

Did the hobo get your phone set up with the appy thing?

Not PC, and no, I told him to stick around for a while.

We're gonna need an on site techie.

What?

No, he's not sticking around.

Why is it so cold in here?

That's what I said.

Charlie can fix that.

Or we can freeze all night.

He can help us and leave, period.

Fine, exclamation mark.

Just send the poor lost soul out into the wild.

It's where he came from.

Oh, my God, he's a nomad not an animal.

Still, we can't let him stay, even if he camps far away

and we'll freeze to death without him here.

Right, he could be an ax murderer.

Oh, my God.

You're not letting an ax murderer crash my party.

However, if these are our final moments,

we should start making them count.

So how's the dating scene going?

Oh, it's the worst, I can't even

She's dating a,

art doctor.

We're tantric boinking, not dating.

So like a sexy professor.

He's got a doctorate in art or music or something,

but he's a big dumb-dumb, like really big.

A lot more going on down there.

Oh, you should invite him.

It's Jamie's last chance for a lap dance pass.

Yeah, I don't know, I think you might get a little excited

and have the baby right here.

I think I can handle it.

Besides, you are the one

that didn't want the conventional party

with strippers and penis games.

So maybe I'm not the prude one anymore.

Waywardin' Ways by Axel Alberts?

Yeah, I found it out here and I kind of got hooked.

I am ready for a soak though.

Ooh.

Oh, y'all look like ghosts.

Sorry to interrupt, I was just seeing if I had left my,

ah, there it is.

Oh, sorry, I didn't realize that was yours.

I found it, I kind of got into it.

Oh, gosh, I hope it wasn't too awful.

I think it could be okay with a little editing.

You wrote it?

Yeah, lived it, typed it, self-published it.

What's with the alias, Axel?

Oh yeah, I thought it had a sweeter ring to it

than Charlie Beeker.

You know what?

You keep this one, I got more.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I actually found a couple of good trees down there

to hang my camp bed from, just down yonder.

Ew.

Out in the cold with the bugs?

Wouldn't sleeping in your car

in a neighborhood far, far, far away from here be better?

You know what?

I actually like sleeping outside.

It'll help me get an early start.

Where are you off to next?