Open Marriage

Damn it.

Here, let me do that.

No, I'll fix it.

You'll just re-injure your back

and we'll be screwed for another year.

Becca, I told you, I'll do it.

The doctor said I'm good to go back to work.

It's about time.

Your workers' comp. Ran out two months ago.

Babe, you need to relax about all this stuff.

Okay?

I told you, it's gonna be okay.

And we can start trying again to get pregnant.

It's gonna happen.

That's my girl.

And...

there's no time like the present

to start trying again.

There's no time, period.

I have to go to work.

I hate to burst your bubble,

but this whole infertility thing,

it might not be me.

I know, I'm gonna... I'm gonna get checked out.

You said that before.

I mean it this time.

I am.

Oh, don't forget, we got to go to Max and Mindy's tomorrow.

Okay, I'm going to work.

Love you too.

Hi.

I swear, I still need a G.P.S.

to make my way around this place.

See? I told you, darling.

The guests should use the maid's bathroom.

It's so much closer.

Have our guests use the help's bathroom?

No, not in my house.

Our house, darling. It's our house.

See, honey? Now you've started an argument.

Mindy and I don't argue... ever.

You know, that's actually true.

You don't argue?

No way. Every couple argues.

I hate to be blunt, but it's because we're rich.

Max!

What? That's so gauche.

He's become so obnoxious lately,

ever since he closed that real-estate deal on Rodeo Drive.

Oh, he's been doing that ever since our fraternity days.

He's humble bragging. Look, all I'm saying

is that, statistically, the number one thing

couples argue about the most is money,

or the lack thereof.

So if you take that off the table,

what else is there to argue about?

Like I said before, Ron,

if you ever need a little help, all you have to do is ask.

And like I said before, don't be ridiculous.

You know, all I need is one big construction job

and we'll be flush again.

And once he's done redoing the loft,

we're gonna flip it for a fortune.

So don't you worry.

We'll be fine.

Mindy, I really like your new hair.

Oh, thanks.

You know, it is so true what they say,

blondes have way more fun.

Hope our husbands don't get us confused.

Speaking of which...

how's your sex life these days?

Uh, it's... it's... it's great.

Yeah? Yeah, no complaints.

Yeah, couldn't be better.

That's what you think.

So being rich gives you guys better sex too?

Come on, guys.

Yeah, what's with you two today?

Well, actually, that's the point.

You see, it's not just us two.

What's not just us two?

Yeah, what are you talking about?

Mindy and I have been on an extraordinary adventure.

We've... opened our marriage.

It's a whole new glorious world.

Wait, so... so you guys are having sex with other people?

Yes, we are.

Isn't that dangerous? Like playing with fire?

Mm, it is, but playing with fire is what makes it so hot.

Until you get burned.

That's where the rules come in, sweetie.

We have our limits.

I mean, I never thought I would ever do this.

I'm the one that demanded a cheating clause in our prenup.

Which was completely unnecessary.

But as long as you follow the rules that you make,

nobody gets hurt.

Rules? Yeah, like what?

Like, for example, our number one rule is...

No extracurricular activities

without the other person. Boom.

Really?

And practice safe sex, of course?

Of course. Of course, of course.

Wow.

You know what, it's getting really late.

I think we should get going.

Suit yourself.

I just have a really early morning tomorrow.

Yeah, we'll, uh, we'll continue this discussion another time.

Hope we didn't scare you off.

So what'd you think?

You go first.

Morning, babe.

Morning.

So Mindy was in rare form last night.

Were you as surprised as I was

about their extracurricular activities?

Yeah, completely. I didn't think they were that type.

Are we?

Are we what?

The type?

I mean...

I don't...

I... I just...

Come on, be honest.

You clearly got excited about the idea.

Well, you were obviously excited yourself.

'Cause it was hot to think about.

But I don't know if I could actually do it.

I mean, I would never do anything you didn't want to do.

You know I would never do anything to hurt you.

I know.

I mean, maybe it would be a welcome distraction.

From?

You know, stuff.

Yeah.

Stuff's been pretty rough lately.

Obviously... it would be entirely up to you.

Great.

So, if it doesn't go right, then it's all on me.

Yeah, I mean I wasn't seriously considering it.

Yeah, right.

I don't know if you noticed, but I finally finished

stripping the paint off the brick yesterday.

Are we still scheduled to move out in March?

Probably more like May or June.

It's a better time to flip properties then anyway.

I know it's no big deal to you,

but I'm having a harder time with this uncertainty.

You mean about money coming in?

That's part of it.

Please, babe, don't rub it in.

I feel guilty enough that you have to work double shifts at the hospital.

Ron, look at me.

It's my turn to be the breadwinner.

I'm okay with that.

Really.

Than what is it?

Someday I'd like to feel like our home is our home,

and if we're ever able to start a family,

I don't want to be so transient.

I'm sorry, honey.

Maybe Max and Mindy have the right idea.

About open relationships?

No, about money solving stuff.

Oh, that.

Yeah.

I see what you mean.

All right, I got to get to work.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Last night was the first time that you and Ron had sex in three months?

Yeah.

I thought you two were trying to have a baby,

a lot, like bunnies.

We are. Well, we were.

I guess we are again.

Okay, well, that's good, but why the sudden change?

I don't know.

Come on, spill it.

Okay, so last night,

we went up to our rich friend's house in Malibu,

and they suggested that we... try opening...

A lemonade stand?

No.

Okay, that Ron and I try opening up our marriage.

Oh.

This just got interesting.

You know, to like spice things up.

Hmm.

So you two had a four-way with Max and Mindy last night.

No! We just talked about it.

Okay. I believe you.

Then what happened?

Then I guess the conversation

just got Ron and I a little frisky.

And when we got home, you know, things just...

kinda happened.