Brasserie Valentine (Brasserie Valentijn)

Based on Brasserie Romance by Joël Vanhoebrouck

This film has been made possible by the Dutch Film Production Incentive

on February the fourteenth, at seven thirty

For you, because you're my Valentine every day.

How sweet, thank you.

Kiss-ass. -You never get anything, so sad.

You're sad yourself. -I'm in love.

Yes, for the first time in two years. Love at first sight.

Even though I don't believe in that. But then suddenly it happens.

Just take a look and see how pretty she is.

And she smells so incredibly nice.

She's mine, but you're allowed to sniff.

Really musty.

How was your day? -I'm hungry.

Shall daddy make you something then?

How about liver?

Or would you prefer scrapple or head cheese?

Or how about lamb's testicles with a light foam and a sauce made of fish eggs?

Give me a steak.

Did you hear anything from Lesley? -No.

I'm done with him.

Yes. -I mean it.

How was school today? -Your incredible niece got a B+ for math.

And you may think a B+ is not that good, but the test was really difficult.

It was really, really difficult. -Right. And how about French?

Yes, that was not so good. An F.

But French is a stupid language.

Nee, French is not a stupid language. I'll help you.

Valentine? -Emma?

What's that square on your back?

That tattoo? -Well, there's something underneath there.

Like what? -Nothing, just a name. Clyde.

Long time ago and a long story for another time.

I'm also getting a tattoo. -Really? What kind?

My mother's name, on my shoulder.

Oh, sweetie.

And your name as well. -Touching, but I'm not buying it.

Okay, but can I have my own room?

You do know that you can't stay here, right?

When Angelo has everything sorted, you'll go live with him.

You're my favourite person, you know that. And your father loves you too.

Can you zip me up?

Why do you want your own room anyway? Are you expecting someone?

Yes, two 21 -year-old guys for a gang bang.

Of course, a gang bang is so romantic.

Valentine, what did you do with the menu?

This is so cheap, we still need to pay off the kitchen.

Who insisted on the most expensive and the best equipment?

If we want that Michelin star... -We're completely booked tonight.

Then it would be great if Lesley finally showed up.

Look, our second commander is on time. -As always.

Just saying, we're paying you. -Yo, Kev.

Hey, are you all right? -Yes.

Jim, do you know where Lesley is?

Probably in bed. With a girl. Naked.

We have two gluten free. -Great, the gluten hype.

Gluten, a real health hazard.

But so good.

Brasserie Valentine

Hello, Valentine.

Hello, Frank.

You haven't changed at all.

What are you doing here?

I have a reservation under the name Janssens.

Is it just you? -Yes.

Just me.

Looks nice.

It's been like this for a while.

And it's still nice.

Let me take your coat.

Is that your brother?

Yes. -He really got old.

Why are you here? -Good evening.

Hi, Roos.

How are you?

Well, we're here again.

Well, let the evening begin.

Yes, it's the safest car on the market. No, that's not a sales pitch.

Did you're wife just have a baby? For the little ones it's also the safest option.

No, I know what you mean.

I used to put her in the car for a drive. Then she would sleep like a baby.

Here you go.

Great, thank you.

It's difficult to talk now, I'm in a restaurant.

Here you go. -Sit down, so we can talk.

I really can't right now, I have a lot of guests, so...

Later, then.

Why don't I call you back tomorrow? Or you can call me.

Okay, bye.

Guess.

Chanel No. 5? -How did you know?

This was the only thing... -Marilyn Monroe wore in bed?

Yes, you told me the same story last year. -No.

Really?

How stupid of me.

Didn't you like it? -No.

Chef, behind you.

Thank you.

Valentine, four amuses are plated. -Three.

Three?

We only have couples tonight.

Who's that? -Nobody.

Nobody? A man alone on Valentine's Day?

It's not what you think. -Yes, it is.

Be very nice to him, because those Michelin people pay attention to service.

He's not from Michelin, I told you so.

Where's Lesley? -This will be his last night.

He's our best waiter. -He was our best waiter.

Is. -Was.

Have a nice evening. -I can wait for you.

No, I have to work, I'm busy. Sorry.

But it's Valentine's Day. -That's not really my problem, is it?

We agreed that we would keep it casual, didn't we?

Listen, Elly. -Nelly.

Nelly, you're a wonderful woman.

And hundreds of, no thousands of men would love to be your Valentine.

Love is all around.

Good evening.

I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Next week is possible.

Could you spell that for me?

Yes, B. -Chef?

Did you say B or P?

No, a B or a P?

Emma, beautiful girl. Homework, nice.

Chef. -You're late.

Where were you? -In the bed of a girl.

It smelled like fabric softener. -It was a rhetorical question, Lesley.

Jimmy, I'm always straightforward, right?

I always say right away that this is a one-time thing.

But they all fall in love with me and want to watch romantic movies all day.

Is that normal? -You're just irresistible.

Right, that's enough.

Lesley, be on time. Discipline. What do you I pay for?

If you can't respect me, you can leave right now.

Good evening. Do you have a reservation?

Yes, that's right. Table seven.

Right, I remember. Mia. Table seven.

Table seven, follow me.

So there are no cute boys in your class? -Nope.

Wait, one moment.

And I a different class? -They're all stupid.

I'm just not in love with any one. -Nice, love only brings you problems.

Yeah, right.

I don't believe you. I see you blushing.

No way. -Hello? That's quite enough.

Do you want to wait for your companion?

I'm actually not sure if he's coming.

Of course he will. No man would stand up such a beautiful woman.

One drink.

Do you remember this?

You gave me this book.

Siddhartha.

Long time ago.

Found it in my old room.

It hasn't changed since twelve years ago.

Sorry, I...

What's wrong with her? She doesn't look really happy.

I think she's all right.

I reckon she should get laid.

Why don't you say that to her face?

What? -'Valentine, I think you should get laid.'

Me, as a car salesman, I know everything about that.

I screw everyone, big or small.

And I see it as my duty to give my body...

or better yet, my penis, to you.

Don't be stupid. -Don't be modest.

With that gorgeous body of yours. Valentine.

All those years in the gym haven't been for nothing.

Everything in order? Something wrong with the amuse-bouche?

Paul noticed that you need a big... -Pat on the back.

Really, you have been doing so great all those years.

It's unbelievable. Well done, well done.

Thank you very much. I'll let Angelo know.

What's wrong with you?

Great, parsnip cream. Delicious.

Compliment from the Volvo family. -Really? No way.

Miracles do happen.

Did you hear, Em? They love daddy's food.

Your food is so disgusting. -The right one is for the Michelin man.

Walt? What are you doing here?

You know that this so-called romantic day is just a commercial ruse.

You're such a smart-ass. -Yes, but I have a date.

Oh, nice. Who's the lucky one?

Her name is Silvia and I met her online. -Online, amazing.

Beautiful, right? But that's not your date, that's Mia.

Count your blessings, she's weird.

Thank you. -Do you want something to drink?

Water, please.

Congratulations Maarten, you solved the puzzle.

I think you're handsome and sweet and cute.

And a little weird, but in a good way.

On February 14, at seven thirty p.m...

I will be waiting at George Hendrik Breitner's Girl in a White Kimono.

In the Rijksmuseum.

Will you join me?

Dude.

Look at yourself.

Mister Hendriks, what a coincidence.

Don't you need a new car? Your car is more like a disposable vehicle.