South Park

All right, this time it's me and Kenny

versus you two assholes.

- Fine. - Oh, dude!

What's with all the homeless people?

Sir, could you move a little please?

Spare some change?

Oh, dude, he smells like Kenny's house.

Get outta here!

You guys, that's not cool.

These people have nowhere to go.

They don't have food or shelter.

We have to do something.

Well, dude, what are we supposed to do?

Yeah, what are we supposed to do?

No, Kyle's right, you guys.

We should do something.

Really? Yeah.

I know what you're thinking, Kyle,

and I'm with you.

I know exactly what we should do.

Gather around and witness the glory

as Eric Cartman attempts to jump

his skateboard over the homeless.

Thank you, thank you!

The ramp ready?

Yeah, it's all set.

He won't make it.

Excuse me!

This isn't exactly what I had in mind!

All right, here we go!

Jimmy?

Oof... Ugh!

Yes!

I did it!

I jumped over the homeless!

Yes!

That was a sweet idea, Kyle.

God damn it... that wasn't my idea!

All right, people, we need to come up with answers.

There are homeless sprouting up all over town.

What are we supposed to do?

Well, I sort of had an idea.

Please, Mr. Valmer.

We could give the homeless

all designer sleeping bags and make-overs.

At least that way they'd be pleasant to look at.

- Oh, that's a good idea. - I like it.

Well, I was thinking

we could turn the homeless into tires,

so that we'd still have homeless,

but we could use them on our cars.

- Ooh, that's a good one! - Nice one, Randy.

That's like recycling.

All right, enough!

I find this whole conversation to be extremely offensive.

The homeless aren't monsters, they are people.

Like you and me.

You mean they've adapted?

Copied our D.N.A.?

Excuse me.

I am the top researcher of homeless studies

for Park County.

I don't know why more homeless people

are showing up in town,

but I do know that we must be extremely careful.

If we give them anything, there could be more.

Hi.

I've, uh, I've been saving up for a new Xbox game, but...

But I think you could use the money

a lot more than I could.

Listen, I... I want you to take this.

It's $20.

Got any more?

No, that's... I thought that was a lot.

Spare any change?

You're welcome.

Oh, crap.

Dude, what are all these homeless people

doing in front of your house?

I don't know!

There's a bunch outside my house, too.

Spare any change, sir?

No! Fuck off!

I don't get it.

My dad said as long as nobody

gave them money they'd move on.

- He did? - Well, this is bullcrap.

Somebody has to be responsible.

Well, I kind of gave a homeless guy $20 last night.

You what?!

Oh, come on, that can't be why they're all here.

There has to be another reason!

Kyle, what were you thinking?!

Yeah!

I can't possibly jump this many homeless people!

I won't risk it!

I could jump two homeless people, maybe three.

But asking me to jump this many

is asking me to risk my life, Kyle!

I don't want you to jump them, retard!

Spare some change?

No, sorry, I don't have any change.

Got any change?

No, sorry.

Can you spare some change?

Change?

Agh... I don't have any change!

- Change? - No!

Change?

Spare some change?

Leave me alone, I don't have any change!

All right, God bless you, sir.

Oh, now I feel bad.

Here!

Hagh... Hagh!

- Change? Change? - Change?

No, no, that was really all the change I had.

Spare some change?

I just gave you change!

Change?!

- Change? - Change? - Change? - Change?

Spare some change? Change?

Agh!

- Change? - Change?

I don't have any more change!

- Change? Spare some change? - All right, God bless.

No!

I don't have any change!

I don't have any change!

Okay, that'll be great.

Let's also make sure we have enough chairs

in the community center for everyone to attend.

Agh!

Agh!

Stay away, stay away!

Randy?!

Randy what happened?!

Agh!

I don't have any change!

I don't have any change!

This is a news 5 special bulletin

with Chris Swollenballs.

South Park has become overrun with the homeless.

Nearly every square inch of public property

is now riddled with homeless, shutting down roadways

and making getting around impossible.

Many people are trapped throughout the town.

Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help me! Help us!

Dude, it's our dads!

Oh, my God.

In the meantime, South Park citizens are being advised

to stay indoors and protect their change.

Spare some change?

What the... You can't be in here.

You got any change, sir?

No, I don't have any change.

How'd he get in here?

Change?!

No... please... I don't have any change!

Honest, I don't! I don't have any...

You see what you did, Kyle?!

Come on, we have to try and help

our stupid parents.

Change! They're everywhere!

What are you boys doing?

Get in!

Change? Spare change?

- Spare any change, sir? - Ahh!

Come on, let's go!

Change?

What the hell are you doing outside?!

Our parents are stuck on top of a building in town.

You aren't getting into town!

It's completely overrun with these things!

Ahh!

Ahg! Ahg! Ahg! Ahg!

No!

No, I don't need my windshield cleaned!

Stop it, stop it!

Look, our only hope is to talk to

the homeless researcher out on Travis street.

He understands what's going on better than anybody.

Just stick with me, kids.

Agh!

Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh!

Ahh!

Holy shit, dude!

Over here!

Jump down! Go!

Oh, God, it really smells

like Kenny's house down here!

Dude, shut the fuck up about my house!

Whoa, Kenny, relax, dude!

We need to work together!

Come on, we gotta get to that scientist's house.

- Change? Change? - Spare some change? Change?

Change?

Spare some change?

No sign of anybody else.