King of the Nerds

Previously on king of the nerds...

This week you'll be tested in pure intelligence.

The teams battled to be the first to solve

a difficult puzzle.

What in the world?

And team Blextrophy managed a come-from-behind victory...

Got it!

To crush their opposition.

You have won the nerd war!

With old scores to settle, Danielle finally got her revenge

when the servants of the forsaken orb

chose Joshua to go to the nerd-off.

Someone cuts you, there's still a scar.

Team Blextrophy selected Ivan

to go into what would prove to be an epic battle.

There's nothing more epic than a sumo wrestler.

Ivan won by the skin of his dragon's teeth.

- How's it feel, buddy? - Bittersweet.

And Joshua's thirst to sit atop the throne of games

and be crowned king of the nerds never be quenched.

Damn.

That sumo kicked my ass.

My team is at their strength right now

'cause they have me back.

The dragon has been awoken.

He picked you up with one hand.

With one...

I was like... I was like, "one hand?"

Joshua got one right in the ear.

I laughed.

I didn't... I couldn't...

Joshua was incredibly cocky and obnoxious.

So whatever. You want to be selfish?

You want to be sneaky?

That'll catch up to you in the end.

Tomorrow we have another nerd war.

So I'm just trying to relax, chill out, and clear my head.

This is the best.

I like dancing.

I mean, I occasionally dance naked

in front of the mirror or something.

But I think most people do that.

Virgil's moves are great.

He just puts his whole body into it.

He scores better than I do at that game,

so I'm not going to criticize it.

Do it, do it.

Good job.

Calling all nerds!

Join us in our fabulous courtyard!

Wow.

Oh, they got my hair.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my. What is going on?

Look at his shoes.

My first thought was that we were gonna be making a meth lab.

You know, you look great.

Good morning, my little nerds.

Good morning.

The one thing missing from Nerdvana is an anthem!

For this week's nerd war, you will be writing, producing,

and performing a song that epitomizes the nerd experience.

Your nerd anthem should be full of nerdy references,

celebrate all things nerdy,

and be catchy enough that other nerds

will want it as their ringtone.

We're gonna write an anthem for all of nerdkind.

Oh, man.

We're really excited 'cause it's creative,

and we love doing creative stuff.

You will work with your own music producer...

What?

To record your song and a choreographer...

What?

To hone your team's performance.

Tomorrow you will perform your song for three guest judges.

Are you ready to unleash your nerd rock gods?

- That means go. - Let's do it.

I'm very, very worried

about feeling comfortable in front of a live audience.

I remember for the live debate,

I was panicking, and I was crying.

Um...

I am nervous about freezing up again.

The chorus is, like, "I don't care if it's klingon or na'vi",

"talk nerdy to me." - Mm.

It's all about how smart guys are hot.

I am taking the lead on this nerd-off.

And Clark Kent's the hottest one.

I do feel like I'm the most qualified

because I've had a lot of vocal training.

Take me up the staircase of your mind

and me till the sun shines.

That was beyond inappropriate.

I really had to tone down my references.

Integrate by parts, u-substitution.

I originally wanted to make a reference

based on a very common "c" programming error,

you know, like, the buffer overflow error.

But, you know, 'cause you can make it kind of sexual.

Um, but I'm just like, "no one's gonna get that."

No, our love diverges,

'cause, like, it's, like, a divergence of an integral.

I don't get it.

What is your vocal ability?

- I can carry a tune. - Okay.

I can't sing, but I actually can rap.

That's kind of what I was thinking.

I've written a lot of nerdy parody songs on the Internet.

I think it'd be really funny if we went like,

"rolling d-20s, I can afford cristal."

Like, "I'm the pokemaster. Get in my ball."

My lyrics are, like, out of control.

One of the lyrics is like,

"while other girls are dreaming of jocks in locker rooms,

I was fantasizing about riding Harry's broom."

Just inappropriate and hilarious.

The one that I wrote down is,

"you call me nerd like it's a bad thing,

"but it's our time to make a stand.

"If it wasn't clear, we live without fear,

and nerds will rule the land."

Doesn't rhyme.

Oh, I guess it does.

But in music, it's generally a little more catchy than that.

Danielle's full of emotional strife.

She'e's really hard to be around sometimes.

I'll work on mine.

I'm jingle Jared from jingle punks.

- Virgil. - Virgil, hey.

I'm here to help you guys make a hit song.

- All right, awesome. - Awesome.

- Let's do this. - Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let me pick some guitar chords, and we'll start there.

The music producer was wizardly.

I'm gonna see what this sounds like with auto-tune.

This is usually where you make a snide remark

about the state of pop music today.

But I don't know... I mean, I was a little impressed.

No, that's not how it goes, honey.

I think Virgil's pretty tone-deaf.

He can't carry a tune in a bucket,

so the strategy is to have him speak-sing his lines.

Yeah, that's better.

- I'm Ivan. - I'm Rick.

Rick?

I feel like our song just speaks about nerds in general.

So you want to do, like, a hip-hop number.

I'm really going snoop dogg on it.

It's funny... when I first met you,

I was thinking you kind of reminded me of him, man.

Really? All right.

- Oh, my goodness. - I'm dungeons & dragons.

Danielle's games.

And moo is science.

I think if we touch on all of those things together,

we can cover most of nerd splendor.

I liked it the original way you did it, to be honest.

Danielle has a very strong, vocal personality,

and sometimes it takes over everything.

It keeps getting lower and lower.

It almost sounds disconnected from the rest of the song.

I grew up all my life in a musical family,

and I kind of know what I'm talking about, kind of.

- Hi! - How's it going?

- Good. How are you? - I'm Lauren.

You're from... oh, my God!

That's Lauren and Napoleon

from so you think you can dance!

Oh, my God!

- Hi, I'm Virgil. - Napoleon, pleasure.

Napoleon?

That's like naming your child genghis Khan or something.

Don't get me wrong, I mean,

Napoleon was, like, a very impressive man and all,

but is he, like, a positive figure in history?

There's two beats right there.

And all I want you to go is whack, whack, strong.

There it is. Go.

Living life as a skinny academic.

That was very subpar.

All right, we're almost there.

I think the choreography will look awesome

if we could all do it at the same time.

Hip, hip.

I'm having a hard time picking up the choreography.

That's it. Ooh, girl.

No, it's awful!

I don't have much rhythm, and I'm a terrible dancer.

- Just drop. - Drop.

And then forward.

I seem to be dancing okay.

I think the worst I am is slightly below average.

That's easy.

I have been to dance clubs before,

but it hasn't been for dancing, it's been for meetings.

Hacker meetings often take place in back rooms of dance clubs.

It has a nice ambience.

- Hello. - Hello.

I can't wait to meet this choreographer.