Singles

I was living in this duplex. For the first time, I was alone.

No dorm, no roommates, my own place. I was so happy.

I had my own parking space.

Where I come from, they don't keep them in cages.

They keep them in bins, you know, so you can reach in and touch them.

-Hello. -Need some help?

No, l... Well, yeah, thanks.

I'm from Spain.

-Really? Which part? -Galicia.

I'm taking engineering at U of W. I like Seattle.

"U-Dub." That's what people call it here.

Finally, a local tells me some secrets.

You don't have to stay. This is gonna take some time.

Where else do I have to go?

In one week, I have to go back to Spain. My visa runs out.

U-Dub.

This is Linda Powell from the Seattle Environmental Council.

Okay, great. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Yes, that's right, there's another spill in Bellingham.

We gotta get somebody out there...

Ruth, how long have I been saying there are no guys?

Forever.

I met one. I met one when I was least expecting it.

You held out on me.

He's an engineering student from Spain.

His visa runs out in two days. He's...

He's like a comet. What do I do?

I wish you could stay.

If I overstay my visa, I can't come back for five years.

-Were you ever gonna come back? -Well, now I have a reason.

I want you to have this.

I wish I was better able to tell you what I am thinking.

But this is a symbol of our future.

I want to return in two months and see you again.

I don't really have much to give you, but...

It's important to me.

Use this when you get back.

You'll always have a parking space.

Hello.

Don't wake up. I'm getting on the plane. I wanted to say bye.

-I'll see you soon. Goodbye, Linda. -Goodbye, honey. I miss you already.

Did you perform any other acts with him before he left?

It's amazing. We can't hide things in language. We speak in basics.

"Basics"?

If I married him, he could live here. I'd always have someone to go out with.

You're talking about marrying this guy?

I'm tired of all the games.

If you were married, would we still go out dancing?

-We will always go out dancing. -What?!

We will always go out dancing!

This is the Genie. Can't go wrong with this garage-door opener.

Here's the Liftrex and the Liftrex Super. Might be more than you need.

And, of course, the Linear pocket pager, beeper...

...garage-door opener combo.

Give me the best one you have. I'll never lose it again.

I recently broke up with Jennifer, my last girlfriend.

I did it in a crowded restaurant.

She just stared at me with that look: "How can you pass me up?"

I told her we weren't right, all the stuff we both knew.

I realized I was wrong, tried to get back with her. She won't see me.

Now she's with Tony.

Tony knows my friend Bailey, who's friends with Tony's other girl, Rita.

Rita, who I broke up with to go out with Jennifer.

So do I tell Jennifer I know Tony's going out with Rita...

...or do I tell Rita I know about Tony and Jennifer?

Tony will tell Jennifer I was dating Rita when I was with her.

How does stuff get so complicated? I don't know.

Sometimes I wish it was as simple as this postcard somebody sent me once.

Isn't that great?

I don't know. I think...

Cliff! I'm talking here, man.

I'm back to the beginning.

My dad left home when I was 8. He said to me:

"Have fun. Stay single."

I was 8.

My mom's a teacher. She took me to a doctor to learn about sex.

He was from Boston.

The father and the mother have finally learned to come together.

The father inserts his penis...

You do know what the penis is, don't you, Steve?

The father inserts the penis into the mother's vagina.

This is called intercourse, and what comes out is called sperm.

And then, the man keeps moving until something squirts out of his penis.

-What? -Yeah, what comes out?

-Spam! -Oh, man!

So maybe it was never simple. I'll tell you this...

...for the next three years, I'm going to concentrate on work.

Work is the only thing I have complete control over.

Work.

I gotta go.

I'm 23. Remember how old 23 seemed when you were little?

I thought people would be traveling in air locks and I'd have five kids.

Here I am, 23.

Things are... They're basically the same.

I think time's running out to do something bizarre.

Somewhere around 25, bizarre becomes immature.

I get inspiration from my boyfriend. He's a musician.

His band put out an independent album last month. He's a good artist too.

He's like a Renaissance man.

I'm so glad he moved into my building.

Janet. What's the ordeal?

Your machine wasn't on, and I was supposed to see you Saturday but...

So I just thought I'd come by and say, hi.

-Hi. -Hey.

-So how about this weekend? -This weekend we're really busy.

-We got that show, right? -Yeah, that show.

-We got these guys coming from L.A. -Great.

-It's gonna be rocking. -Bye, Cliff.

-So come over after. -Deal.

Look, Janet, you know I see other people still, right?

You do know that, don't you?

You don't fool me.

Janet, I could not be fooling you less.

Cliff, you gotta move your truck, man.

I know what you're thinking. We connected.

And when you make the connection, chemistry takes care of itself.

So sit back and enjoy it because you know when it's real. This is real.

We just don't even have to discuss it.

Janet, you're spazzing off on me.

Hey, Cliff, while we're young.

So I'll see you Saturday, and then I'll help you with your speakers.

What can I say, man? She's crazy about me.

Check it out, my new Gortec watch.

I can store 20 numbers. Tonight, I'll fill it.

All or nothing. Tonight, I'll be the super me.

What if the super you meets the super her, and the super her rejects you?

-Then it's no problem. -Why?

Because it was never you. It was just an act.

-I live my life like a French movie. -What?

Webster and 24th, it should be here.

Let's ask this clown where the club is.

Hey, man...

...where's De Soto?

I get it, you're a mime. Mime the address.

Well, give me a ride, and I'll show you.

Where's De Soto? Our car broke down.

I'll tell you about love. Love disappears, baby.

When I've been broke, babe has been off like a prom dress.

Maybe it's the girls you choose.

Maybe I've been hurt, or I've been dogged!

-Know where this place is? -Do I look like a Thomas Guide?

-You really shouldn't speak. -Yes.

-Where do you work? -I'm a maître d' .

-Department of Transportation. -Solving the gridlock.

I build airplanes.

-Hey. -Hello.

My friend and I have this argument, and here it is.

He says when you're at a place like this...

...you can't just be yourself, you need an act.

So anyway, I saw you standing there...

...so I thought, I could just leave you alone.

I could come up with an act, or C: I could just be myself.

I chose C.

What do you think?

I think that You have an act...

...and that Not having an act is your act.

Thank you.

Cliff, any comments on the Seattle sound and Citizen Dick's place in it?

I don't like to reduce us just to being part of Seattle.

I think of us expanding more.

We're huge in Europe right now.

We've got records... A big record just broke in Belgium.

A song like "Touch Me, I'm Dick" is about what?

I think "Touch Me, I'm Dick, " in essence, speaks for itself.

I think, you know, that's basically what the song is about.

It's about, you know...

A lot of people might think it's actually about...

...my name is Dick, and you can touch me...

...but I think, you know, it can be seen either way.

-Hey, excuse me! Hello. -Hi.

-Want to meet up later? -Where you going?

-Anywhere you're going. -Anywhere you're going.

-We're going home. -Going home.

-Do you have a...? -See you.

"Anywhere you're going."

Always get their numbers. I got 20 numbers.

Twenty numbers.

Bailey, you got 20 numbers of 20 girls that you will never call...

...never go out with, never see in the daylight.

Twenty numbers that exist only to make you feel like you can get 20 numbers.

-Watch the volume. -Sorry. Tinnitus.

-Club disease. -You kids are all going to be deaf.

Bailey.

This is my night.

-What? -Look.

Linda, don't look over.

Cliff, I need another double latte, no cream, skim milk, decaf.

I'm going to use that video date you got me last Christmas.

-It was a joke. -I know. I know.

You think it's something desperate people do. You are wrong!

Expect the Best is the best video-dating in the country. Hi!

Debbie Hunt. Call me before I go to Cabo.

-Your medication, Miss Hunt. -Thank you.

You make the greatest coffee. Doesn't he make...? You...

My roommate has no domestic... Guys just don't know...

-Did you get the tunnel stuff? -I'll call you back.

The l-90 construction is behind. No green time from the exits.

The Times asked why there's gridlock on the l-5.

It's God's way of saying, "Listen to the radio."

Did you read my proposal? What'd you think?