Hill Street Blues

I need a ride home later on, okay?

See that coat over there?

All right. Item 14.

We've still got a gang of juveniles at 119th Street

hitting on old people, cashing Social Security checks.

So, uh, how about let's give that situation

a little extra effort, huh?

Hear, hear!

All right. Item 15. Item 15!

At this point in time, we got the same purse snatcher

working wolf from the projects on South.

He's a male black, age approximately 30,

6'6" tall, medium build.

He's further described as wearing a long blond wig...

powder blue cocktail-type dress

gathered in little tucks at the waist.

Ain't that sweet?

Item 16: gang homicides.

We had two last night.

There are gonna be reprisals.

You got anything to add to that, Lamonica?

Yes, Sarge. Looks like the 124th Street gang done it.

Oh, pure genius, Lamonica.

- No kidding! - All right, last item.

Last item is a directive from Divisional Commander Swanson.

Concerning the alleged carrying of bizarre and unauthorized weapons

by the officers of this precinct.

Said officers are hereby warned

to immediately surrender such weapons

to the custody of their sergeant or face disciplinary action.

Said weapons inspection starts now!

All right, that's it. Let's roll.

Hey, let's be careful out there.

So she's standing in her apartment door in her bathrobe,

see, and showing me her driver's license.

She says, "Renko, the time has come. Let's get on it and get it on."

- Get on it and get it on, huh? - Get on it and get it on!

Hey, Renko, hold on, hold on.

Did you grow some recently?

No, no, it's my boots. They make me tall.

Actually, they're your basic dress boots.

Oh, they're nice, Renko. Real nice.

They make you look, uh, strong.

Stronger than a mare's breath, my friend.

Oh, no.

Now, don't you be doing that to me!

You tell that girl next time she comes in here

to have some respect for an officer of the law.

You move it, hair bag!

Belker.

I said move!

Hey, this is a rout!

- He's crazy! - Right this way, ladies.

Your accommodations are ready. Smoking or nonsmoking?

Dispatch. We have a 9-11.

Armed robbery in progress.

See Surplus Store, corner of People's Drive and 124th Street.

- I'm glad. - Whoo!

What? What?

What are you looking at? What are you looking at?

- Let go, man! - Hey! Hey! Hey!

I told you to shut up!

Or I'm gonna send you all to a psychiatrist.

You die, huh!

Look at this.

You got the address wrong on their warrant.

Captain, we never should've stopped doing these in pencil.

So when the man understandably objects to being arrested,

Earps here hits him with a board.

We had to, boss. We couldn't get his attention.

Get him outta here. Buy him breakfast.

Tell him we owe him one.

And don't hurt him anymore. Don't touch him.

Don't even shake his hand!

I don't know, Phil.

We all err, Francis.

What?

Grade school and precinct visitation program?

Sure we got one. We've had one up here for years.

To interface with the police.

To interface with the police experience. I see.

Yes, I knew you would understand.

Yeah, ma'am. Yeah, well, ma'am?

Ma'am, why not take my word for it?

I doubt there's a kid in this district

who hasn't interfaced with the police experience.

Interfaced?

Okay, gorgeous, come on.

- Let's go save the public. - Mm-hmm.

It's her, man. She's back.

Uh-huh.

All right, Furillo. I want him and I want him now.

- Where is he? - Where is who?

Ray, would you instruct the lady to please have a seat outside...

My client is due in court in exactly 45 minutes!

Now, where is he?

Ten-four.

Care for a little while you're waiting?

Sure. Why not.

- Cream in your coffee? - No, thank you.

I'm Detective John LaRue.

That's nice.

Oh, may I?

Oh, those are beautiful.

Do you know what they're worth by the ounce?

Are you quite finished?

No, ma'am.

I never seem to quite finish for hours and hours.

Miss Davenport, the captain will see you now.

What about it? Is he here or is he elsewhere?

Don't get excited, Counselor, we're working on it.

How's this for logic, Furillo?

If he's not here, and if he's not elsewhere,

- he's lost. - We didn't say that, Counselor.

- You lost my client. - Not lost, per se.

- Misplaced is more like it. - Look, Ms. Davenport,

the way it lays out is this.

- Besides being a pervert... - Alleged pervert.

Mr. Thorpe, because he convinced the duty officer he was claustrophobic,

got transferred to County Medical.

I called County Medical. He's not there either.

Now, that isn't necessarily true.

A prisoner might be there, or might not be there,

- in an official sense... - For that matter,

he could be in transit between facilities.

Or he could've gotten on the wrong bus.

You know, those buses from county lockup are not legibly marked.

Francis, we oughta interface with County on that one.

Never in my entire life have I listened to so much incompetence

covered up by so much unmitigated crap!

And don't think for one minute, Furillo,

that the court isn't going to hear about this.

Because, if I am not mistaken, you are sitting in contempt.

Counselor, suppose we drive off

- that bridge when we come to it. - That's so typically fascist!

Now, if you'll excuse us…

Find my client, Furillo,

or I swear, I'll have you up on charges.

Mm, that young woman has a very handsome carriage.

With 20 more pounds, she would be perfect.

Call around, will you, Ray?

- Huh? - Put a flag out on him.

You're crazy, man!

Hey, guys, break it up!

Somebody get this guy!

I got him! I got him!

Hey, a little help!

Break it up!

Let me up!

- I got ya! - Don't do it! No biting!

No biting, Mick.

Okay, just keep him down here.

- You promised me, Captain. - Take it easy!

- Get his legs! - Take it easy, Mick.

You know, that's not fair!

No, that's not fair!

All right, two years ago I bit off a nose.

That's one lousy nose!

I'm branded for life here! "Belker the biter."

Do you think I don't know what I'm called behind my back?

Do you think I don't know?

Take it easy. Take it easy.

Nobody's gonna hurt you. Ya hear me?

We're gonna take you to the hospital now.

Do you understand what I'm saying to you, huh?

Don't think I don't know who was copping the cheap feel

during the fight, huh? Let's go. Let's go.

Come on, baby. You're okay, honey.

- You're okay, kid. Hold onto me. - I got him back here.

- Hold right onto me. That's good. - Get his head. Lucy, get his head.

Can we make some room here? Coming through here now.

Bad scene. Sorry you had to see it come down.

You certainly did your part to help out.

I'm undercover. Hey, look, this is a war zone here, huh?

Come on. Let's talk about you.

What are you like when you, uh, let your hair down?

My hair is down.

Yeah, she's a special woman, Cowboy.

They all are for the first six weeks.

You know, huh?

You've never stuck with one woman for six hours.

Well, they can't handle me any longer than that.

What about these kids? Don't that bother you?

Well, I thought it might, but it doesn't.

It's like they're my own.

Well, I always hate to see a good animal get his spirit broke.

- Uh-oh. - Let's hit it!

Stay down there, Renko!

All right, you boys in there,

now you come out with your hands held high!

- I don't think they heard me. - Get that feeling, do you?

I said come out!

Mama bless me!

It may or may not be a hostage situation in that liquor store.

- We don't know that yet, Commander. - We're still sealing the zone.

And we won't know that until we've interfaced

with the perpetrators.

I don't want anybody hurt here!

Move back!

Hello, operator?