The Alchemist Cookbook

You don't want to see this, Cas.

Shh.

Cas, run for it!

Cas, run for it!

Run for it.

Cas.

Cas!

Come on, come on.

Can't bring this stuff in.

Wait, stop.

Where are you?!

Yo, Sean.

Yo, open the door.

There's bees out here, nigga.

Open the door, man.

What up, gimp.

Damn, why you gotta be so loud, man?

Just a warning knock, nigga.

Can't walk in while you beating your dick on the floor,

no shit like that.

Ha, what up, Cas.

Cas, what up, homie?

What up, homie?

Hey, shh.

You can't be that loud over here.

Man, chill, paranoid motherfucker.

Ain't nobody gonna find your ass out here, shit.

What's up, Cas?

What's the deal, man?

Got your claws out for me, Bre?

Where's my stuff?

Nigga, you ain't even gonna say what up first?

You ain't gonna check my shit out, dog?

Look at that shit.

Huh?

I finally got it, dog.

It's mine.

Remember that shit?

No, where's my shit?

Cas remember.

You remember this Cas?

Remember my jacket, Cas?

Remember?

Remember when we went to the club?

Come one, come on, come on, come on.

What you wanna dance, nigga?

You wanna dance?

You wanna dance?

I knew you was a fag.

Come on, man.

I got that shit parked on a hill.

Hey! Hey, man.

Fucking pay attention, dude.

Shit.

Fuckin' scary ass.

Get this shit, man.

Here.

Fuckin' stinky in here, man.

You need to open a fuckin' window or something, dog.

Did you get the gas?

Yes, nigga.

I know what the fuck I'm doing, all right.

I left that shit outside.

Want you blowing yourself up in this fucked up,

bunsen burner of a fuckin' kitchen you got here.

I don't see my pills.

They in there, man.

Relax.

What the fuck going out here in these swamps, man?

You finished your shit yet?

I'm close.

Shit.

Same shit.

I gotta hugeass dick, even though I'm a bitchass,

punkass nigga.

Trying to tell you, you need to go ahead and get you

a fuckin' job, all right.

Then you can just go buy you some of this shit.

You don't even have a fuckin' job, Cortez.

Nigga, yo mama ain't got no fuckin' job.

Fuck you.

Nigga, fuck you.

Dude, where the batteries?

Brown box.

Got AA, got AAA, got that weirdass 9-volt shit

you was asking for.

Shit.

Batteries not included, my ass.

Oh, shit.

You got a shitload of bills, nigga.

And these look like they from the courthouse, too, man.

You owe these fools.

They coming for yo ass.

They want you in person, dog.

I don't want to see any of that shit.

I don't owe them shit.

I think you do, Bre.

Why don't you go down there and tell them,

they don't own me anymore.

Yeah, sure.

I'll tell them that shit next week,

when I'm down there.

I'm sure they'll be cool with it.

Dude, this is a toy.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Dollar store always got that cute shit.

What is this?

You know I don't have a freezer.

Fuck, man.

Thought I was being a fuckin' gentleman and shit,

when I bought that piece of shit.

Oh wait.

This isn't right either.

Fuck you talkin' about, nigga?

It's cat food.

Corkin's Best?

Yeah.

Cats love that good shit.

It ain't for you.

No, he doesn't.

Nigga, he's a cat.

What the fuck he know?

He knows this is junk.

Man.

Look, I specifically put Curry brand.

In capital letters.

Give me that shit, dog.

Look at that.

Let me see that shit, let me see.

Nigga, white tuna in this bitch, dog.

Is you trippin'?

This is the shit, man.

If cats don't like shit, I'll eat this shit, dog.

You crazy.

Really?

Hell, yeah, nigga.

This shit gourmet.

Go ahead and eat it.

Go ahead.

I fuckin' dare you.

You dare me?

I fuckin' dare you.

Eat it.

Nigga, I'm 'bout to chomp on this shit

like fuckin' Mad Max, nigga.

Straight from the can.

You 'bout to miss out, dude.

Mm.

Shit.

I fuckin' love tuna, dog.

Shit fuckin' stinks.

Nigga, it smells amazing to me.

Hurry up and eat that shit.

I'm 'bout to--

Fuck.

Mm.

Nigga.

Mm.

I forgot, I was supposed to give you this shit,

right here.

You asked me to get these tapes.

I got this one right here.

Fuck these tapes.

No, no.

I just want to, let me give them to you now,

before I forget.

That's,

that shit just dropped yesterday.

This right here--

Man, whatever, whatever--

This that old shit.

So you enjoy that shit right there, dog.

Stop fuckin' stallin'.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Shit, chill.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Chunky, just like I like it.

The shit that got the crunchies.

You won't do it.

I'm 'bout to do it, it's nothing.

You're not gonna do it, that shit fuckin' stinks.

It's nothin', nigga.

It's nothin'.

This ain't shit, dog.

What can I tell you?

It's nothing.

Mm.

Nasty motherfucker.

It's dry, dog.

It's just a little dry, but it's good.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Nigga, round two, nigga.

Fuckin' white tuna.

Round two, dog.

This ain't shit to me.

I'm 'bout to get the big chunks goin'?

You want some?

Little pussy, dog.