Betrayed

That's wonderful. Do you have any views on lesbian priests?

- I'm not interested. - Masturbation?

- I don't believe in it. - Just let it be?

Just let it all hang out.

Do you believe in that statute in Arizona

that says if you get an erection it's a felony or a misdemeanour?

You can't go around and expose yourself to everybody.

The welfare system is creating generations of freeloaders.

So overexaggerated, welfare. You're worried about a mother of eight.

If these are reborn Christians as they claim they are,

if they took care of the underprivileged, we wouldn't have a welfare state.

Instead of building glass cathedrals, buying TV stations, paying off prostitutes.

If Jesus came back today he'd never stop throwing up.

Since he's repeatedly talked about his homosexuality on the air,

you're very quick, you know?

You know what I saw this morning that was real disgusting?

Yeah, you saw yourself in a mirror.

Why are you listenin' now? You must have a need to be miserable.

You don't make me miserable.

You see what a hypocrite you're makin' of yourself?

You can't enjoy my show, cos you got no sense of humour. Take a hike!

- How much did you say you weigh? - 167.

That's insane. Your body's supposed to be a temple, a cathedral.

You're making it a garbage disposal. Call me up when you lose 50 pounds.

Weapons is a big business. We fall for the old patriotic crap.

Right now, Iran is the most hated country in the US.

We need an enemy so we can make more weapons.

In ten years we'll all be driving Iranian cars, the Khomeini wagon,

and goin' to chichi Iranian restaurants.

Remember what barbarians the Japs were?

You're always doing all the speaking.

21 minutes remaining in the hour.

Hey, people, you know what we're talkin' about tonight?

Jew-boys. Anti-Semitism, racism, hate.

There's a lotta kike-haters among you nice Gentiles.

Let's hear from you. You're not ashamed of what you believe in, are you?

This is Kraus. WLD, the voice of the Midwest. 90,000 watts from Chicago.

Sickago. Whatever you wanna call it. Hey, you know what, partner?

I'm an old Jew myself. Yeah. Show me how brave you are, now.

Call up this Jew-boy and we'll talk turkey right after this message.

- You're askin' for it tonight, Dan. - Fuck 'em if they can't take it.

You hate Jews because they all got syphilis? How do you know that?

It's in the Bible, in Genesis.

Don't tell me about the Bible. You never read it.

A TV evangelist quoted you the anti-Semitic parts. Take a walk!

Line two, you're on the air. What?

I just wanted to say that the Holocaust, that was a big exaggeration.

An exaggeration?

I mean, there were some Jews killed, but that was just war.

- There were a lot of Gis killed too. - What about the gas chambers?

All that was, those Jews had to get their lice taken off.

- It was like taking 'em to the dry-cleaners. - Did you say dry-cleaners?

Uh-huh. You take somethin' to the dry-cleaners, it don't hurt it any.

Sometimes it shrinks a little, but you can still wear it.

People say "How can you let these guys on the air with all their hate?"

Short of inciting a riot, let 'em say what they want, as ugly as it may be.

That's a free enterprise of ideas.

Bye-bye.

- We just about blew the damn board. - Bob, what've we got tomorrow?

- Transsexuals. - God bless America.

Good night.

No!

Damn you, son of a bitch. I'll kick the shit outta you.

Lighten up, Ronnie.

Boy, you got a mouth on you.

My boy and me were target shootin'.

I guess we forgot all about it.

Do you know what somethin' like that would do to my rotor?

I didn't think you were gonna cut this section today.

- You're supposed to clear these fields. - Ooh, you got a temper too, don't ya?

- Maybe. - Where you from, girl?

- Texas. - Real cowgirl, huh?

Look, I don't need this shit. I'm just trying to do my job.

What do you get if you mix five Mexicans, a Chinaman and five coloured?

A water sprinkler that sounds like this.

Spic-spic-spic-spic-spic-chink- nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger-nigger.

Give me a Colorado Motherfucker.

Yes, ma'am.

- Ever have a Colorado Motherfucker? - Mm-mm.

He's cute.

I'm real glad I went back on the pill.

Here's your Motherfucker, ma'am.

- Taste this. You gotta taste this. - No, thanks.

...backs his car into the window of the bank

and dumps the cow on the floor of the lobby, to pay 'em back for what he owes.

- You're yankin' my chain. - I'm not. It really happened in Crawford.

- Who is she? - I never seen her before.

She must be from the combines.

Hey, cowgirl. Buy you a beer.

- Got a beer. - Well, I'll buy you another beer.

No, thanks.

You always like this, or do some folks just bring it out in you?

Come on, Texas, let's go out there. We can have one dance, can't we?

I'll keep my hands in my pockets and I won't bust your feet. I promise.

You can take your hands out of your pockets.

Yee-haw!

Let's get outta here.

- What's your name? - Katie Phillips.

I'm Gary. Hi.

So, you dance with all the girls who work the combines?

Honey, you combine girls are the biggest thing to hit this town.

These old boys here, every year about this time, they think it's Santa Claus.

- Texas, right? - Texas.

It's the first time I've danced in three years.

- Right. - Since my wife died.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Old Doc Adams, if he didn't know somethin', he'd tell you it was nerves.

These young doctors, in air-conditioned offices, usin' all these big words...

They tell you what you got. I liked it better the other way.

What is it exactly you do got, Shorty?

Haemorrhoids.

Howdy, Hank.

- I said howdy, Hank. - Howdy.

I gotta go. I gotta put my kids to bed.

- I'll give you a ride. - I'll just be ridin' with Betty J...

I think Betty Jo is gonna need the car.

Wayne isn't old enough for a driver's licence yet.

Come on. I'll keep my hands in my pockets.

You ever seen a man drive with his feet?

- You like workin' them combines? - Well, I used to work in a diner.

You know, waitin' tips and pushin' their hands away.

I miss that guy. You ever listen to that guy?

- Radio guy that got killed. - Oh, I just saw about it on the TV.

Yeah, well, there ain't nothin' on the radio now, that's for sure.

There's rock'n'roll.

I hate rock'n'roll. It gives me a headache.

I suppose you like rock'n'roll?

I hate heavy metal. That gives me a headache.

- Hey, we got somethin' in common. - Yeah.

Hey! Hello!

Hello!

- Hi. - Hi.

- Daddy said to bring this. I'm Rachel. - Well, thanks, Rachel.

Daddy said to ask you to come over to dinner with us tonight.

- Excuse me. Dinner? - Grandma's makin' a pot roast.

A pot roast?

She makes the best pot roast in the whole wide world.

- What does she put in it? - Garlic.

Garlic? You like garlic?

Yep. But if I eat too much, I get diarrhoea. Do you ever get diarrhoea?

- I sure try not to. - Is it fun riding up there?

- It is. You want a ride? - Sure.

You got great music up here.

Wait till I tell Joey. He's gonna get red-assed.

- Who's Joey? - My brother.

- Hi, Shorty. - Hi, Katie. How you doin'?

- Good. - Good.

- Hi! I stuck my finger in the pot roast. - Ooh, is it good?

Great. Grandma, Katie's here.

Hi. I'm Gladys. Gary's mom.

- Hi. Katie Phillips. - That roast is all ready.

I don't know where the fellas are. Probably tendin' to that poor old horse.

Sit yourself down. Would you like somethin' to drink?

- She likes beer. - Ah. I think I'll join you.

It's so darned hot.

She never lets me do anything. She still thinks I'm a baby.

Our horse is real sick. I hope she'll be OK.

Hi, Katie. This is my son Joey.

Pleasure to meet you.

There's the next President. Ain't that a kick in the ass?

Is that what you wanna do when you grow up?

Oh.

I'm announcing my candidacy because it's time for someone to start telling the truth.

Who knows? Maybe, huh, Joey?

Sit down, please. Get comfortable.

- We have to return America... - You can sit here.

...to real Americans.

That's the message of the Jack Carpenter candidacy.

Well, he's kinda cute.

Him? He's a turkey. They're all a bunch of turkeys.

Hey, thanks, Mom. Just what I wanted. Katie?

- I'll get another for myself. - Oh.

...tried and tested in the bureaucratic battlefield in Washington.

May I introduce Mr Robert Flynn.

- Bob? - Thank you, Jack.

Bobby.

What this country desperately needs

is leadership.

And Jack Carpenter is a leader who can put this country back on track.

Do you know...

- Excuse me. - That's OK.

Do you know him?

Nah.

Give us your best shot. We expect a lot of your left-Iiberal barbs and we're ready.

- I'm really glad you came. - Thanks.

You guys... Maybe you oughta wash your hands before dinner or somethin'?

Mm. This tastes so good.

Do you think I could have some more potatoes?

- She's still growin'. Eats like a mule. - Well, she looks growed just fine to me.

Me too.

- Did you really give her a ride? - I told you he was gonna get red-assed.

Young lady, I'm just gonna wash your mouth out with soap.

- Daddy says it. - Well, Daddy's a man.

Can you give me a ride sometime too?

- She's real busy. She got work to do. - Sure I can, Joey.

Thanks! Can she ride on the merry-go-round with us tomorrow too?

- Don't know why not, if... - Neato! That's neato!

Before you excuse yourself, young man, you help Grandma clear the table.

We got white cake later, if you want.

- Oh, I love white cake. - I do hate those store-bought cakes.