Adult Material

Stayin' Alive by Tropical Fuck Storm

Why does she do this to me?

How we doing?

I'm so sorry. You're like the sexiest woman in the world to me.

I literally wank over you every night. I dunno what's...

Don't you inject? All right, lovely!

Neil... Lee.

Just, er...take a minute, eh? Sort yourself out.

Sabs, go and get a bite to eat or something.

Hello, baby!

Hi, babes.

Mwah!

Are you finished?

He don't inject.

Fuck sake. Do you know what I mean, though?

Late again, Jo. I got a flat tyre!

Oh, of course you did.

Well, go on. I wanna be ready in 15.

Jesus' nads!

She used to work in Pret A Manger. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Oi, love you.

Love you too, darling. Now, stir those stubs.

What's that, mate? Wet string?

Is your chest still bad, babe?

Ugh, a bit. Dave made me soup. Aww.

Jo, this is Amy.

She wanted to say hello.

Hi, sweetheart. Oh.

I like your top. Where's that from?

Aw, is it...River Island. I dunno.

It's nice. It really suits you.

You.

You take two of these now.

Two in four hours.

When you get home, boil the kettle, towel over your head,

a drop of Olbus Oil, spoonful of honey and an early night. OK?

OK. Promise me?

I said OK!

She loves me really.

I can't help it, I'm a mummy.

Amy's shooting with you later.

She's, like, two hours early. Aww!

Have you ever shot with Bang Cherry before?

She's never shot with anyone before. Oh.

Oh, you'll be great.

Did you want a coffee?

No, thanks. I've got this.

What's that? Hot chocolate with hazelnut syrup.

Oh, very good. All the food groups.

I like sweet things.

Sabs...can you please just give the poor bastard a hand?

So we can all get home before midnight.

Good luck!

Sabs, sorry about this, babe...

Sorry!

Staring. Sorry.

It's just my boyfriend worships you.

Aww!

So, this is your first shoot, is it? Yeah.

I'm a dancer. I was in Spice Up Your Life.

It's a Spice Girls tribute band.

I was playing Scary but it's just so weird,

cos I'm so much more of a Baby.

Right. Yeah, that is weird.

Yeah. But I wanna get more into, like, choreography, because...

..as a dancer, your career ends basically when you're, like, 35.

Right, yeah. Same here!

So, how come you wanted to get into this, then?

Tore a meniscus, haven't I?

Have you? Yeah.

I won't have to do kneeling, will I?

I can go on all fours.

I just can't put my weight on this knee,

cos then it'll set the physio back... Sorry.

Sorry, it's just...

I can't believe this.

You're Jolene Dollar.

I wasn't just saying that.

I actually... I can't kneel.

Oh, no. Of course.

I love sex.

Who'd you have to fuck to get a cuppa tea round here?

Well, that is a good place to start.

What it is, we got the planning permission,

but because the work's taking so long,

the neighbours have built this...like...conservatory.

Oh, so they were overlooked, were they?

Yeah, we'd to take the whole Velux out and move it again. Did you?

Yeah, it was a nightmare.

Do the whites tonight, colours in the morning,

hang them out before the school run,

get that mince out the freezer for tonight, iron Phoebe's shirts.

Mind your backs, then. Watch yourself.

Mommy Complex by Peaches

Turn over.

And...action.

Ooh, yeah.

My account number?

894463.

12th of April 1985.

Zanzibar.

What's the pop shot?

Facial.

Still rolling.

All right. Go for it, mate.

Aw, you're a star.

Your tits look so good today, Nads!

Yeah, all right.

Well done, babe.

Aw, cheers. Oh.

Are you happy?

Now, there's a question.

You met Amy?

I did. She can't kneel.

She has to kneel. It's the key shot.

Well, she can't. So don't make her.

You coming to Carroll's on Sunday?

No.

Sunday's family day. Bring 'em.

He's got some American talent over. Wants to impress them.

He said you were mandatory.

Oh.

So you're not asking me, you're telling me.

Who is it?

Tom Pain.

You know him?

No.

No, I don't know him. I've met him...

..I don't know him. Why's he coming over?

Well, Carroll's mates with him, isn't he?

And Tom's with Hazewire, same as Carroll.

Hazewire want them to shoot some content together.

Vertical integration, innit?

Are you all right?

No, just...

..I didn't think that Carroll would be mates with someone like Tom.

You know he vomits in girls' mouths?

He dresses them up as little girls

and puts braces on... Yeah, they look young.

Yeah, they LOOK about 11.

They're meant to look about 11.

Some of them actually say, "I am 11."

He's on my No List. Yeah.

Well, I think I got that.

Dave, we're ready for you.

Kiss Me, Honey Honey, Kiss Me by Shirley Bassey

Aww, no joy?

Right, slip these down for me,

cos you don't want marks before we shoot.

And is your mascara waterproof, yeah? Mm-hmm.

So, I've been thinking about my name.

Yeah? Close your eyes.

Yeah, um...

I was thinking...

..Hailey something?

Just cos when I was little, I always wanted to be called Hailey.

Just... I love that name.

That's my real name. Is it?! Yeah.

Oh, my God... Close your eyes.

Sorry, but how old are you?

33.

Thank God for Botox.

But you don't need to worry about all that.

I didn't start till I was about 24, 25.

The last home I was in, one of the workers had so much Botox

the younger kids just, like, freaked out whenever she was on-duty.

Right, we're ready to start soft-core stills.

Er, Amy, we'll start with you first.

Oh. Good luck, baby.

OK. Where's stepmum?

Jo!

Did you consent to everything that happened

during the shoot today? Yes. Yes.

Were you hurt in any way during the shoot? No. No.

Did you feel like you were raped during the shoot? No. No!

Sorry. It's all right.

They have to ask.

Oh, my God...

Thank you so much!

Seriously, that was like... You were brilliant.

Least you got it in the end.

Took 40 minutes to come. That's just rude.

I can look for someone.

Hey, baby. What's up?

We've got another scene to shoot.

Chantelle's just rung. Some shit about her Fallopian tubes bursting.

I thought Amy might want a go.

But she's not sure.

What's the scene?

It's her first day, mate.

I know, I know.

I mean, if you don't fancy it, it's totally... I mean...

Nobody's gonna hold it against you.

Can you guys just give us a second?

Meet you in the car, babe.

See ya later. Bye, baby.

Dave meant that, you know?

They're all sound. No-one's gonna be cross if you don't wanna do it.

Uhh...

..how much d'you get for it?