Somebody Feed Phil

I understand this is where they shot the famous Game of Thrones walk of shame.

My advice to anyone

who has to do a walk of shame…

You should do it a little like this.

Shameful enough?

Croatia.

It's a word that was fraught in my mind as being war-torn maybe.

Former Yugoslavia

splitting up into separate countries after a decade of brutal strife.

But there's been peace here in this Balkan nation on the Adriatic

since the mid-'90s.

And I kept hearing about the Croatian coast,

dotted with islands and a sparkling sea. Right across from Italy.

Ancient towns with their own traditions.

Obviously, I want to see it all, so that's what we're doing.

Skipping around the country to find out what goes on here.

My first stop is the town of Split.

Yep, that's the name. Split.

We're clearly steeped in history here.

It's like a movie set. Universal Studios.

Spectacular.

The only thing that would make it more perfect is a bakery.

"Kruščik Bakery."

"Kruščić."

-Kruščić Bakery. - Yeah.

Kruščić Bakery!

-Ah, this is the place. -Hello.

I just read that this used to be a convent in the 11th century?

-So a thousand years ago? -Yes.

-You're making good use of the space. -Yes, I am.

By the way, your hat says "bad hair day."

-You know, it's… It's kinda… -Oh.

Yes, it's very bad.

Yeah, but it's okay.

My father had the same head, and I loved him too.

If you make a plate for me

of your favorite things, I will eat them.

-Great. -

What do you call that one?

-This? - Yeah.

This is… We call "viška pogača."

Sure, you do.

Viška pogača?

I had the viška pogača at Kruščić Bakery.

And then my mouth fell apart from saying these words.

-Which one you want? -This, this.

-That? - Yes.

And then your thing here.

Thank you, my friend.

I loved meeting you. And your hair is perfect.

Thank you.

Oh, look at that.

So far, this is the winner.

Okay, that was breakfast. Next…

We're going to the Diocletian Palace.

It was built for the emperor Diocletian.

-Gordon. -Hi.

Are you lavender shopping?

-I'm… Smell it. -That's very nice.

-I should get some for my wife, friend. -There you go. That's for… I don't know.

That's for my wife?

-For your wife. -Can I say it's from me?

Of course you can.

So Gordon picked me up from the airport two days ago

and has been my faithful companion.

Consigliere.

Consigliere.

-Oh, what should we do? -Well, it's--

Okay. So, this… We're in the…

Yeah, this is the entrance into Diocletian Palace.

This palace, what we're calling "the palace"

is the whole old city of Split.

The whole old city of Split, of course,

which started growing inside of the old fort.

So you had four entrances,

one in the water and on each side of the wall.

-This here, in the center, is that. -Yes.

That, yes.

- That was his mausoleum. - That was his mausoleum.

And then over the centuries it became a church.

You're walking amongst, not just ruins,

but standing structures from thousands of years ago.

So I read that this sphinx was a gift to Diocletian from Egypt.

- Yes. -So this is, like, 2000 B.C.

-Yes, yes. -And it's just sitting out here.

It's just there.

This was thousands of years old before this.

Before Diocletian.

Actually, you know, he got it as a gift.

Wow. Such a beautiful space.

Can you imagine that was also probably painted and everything?

- Yes. -This is where everything went down.

- We're seeing the bare bones of it. -Yes.

It was probably marble.

These are the outer walls the sea came to.

See how much they developed the port and everything?

The king had a nice view.

Actually, he came here to retire.

-What do you think about retiring? -I think I'm retiring today.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

That's the mausoleum.

- That's the mausoleum. -That became the cathedral.

Which is the oldest cathedral in Europe.

- In all of Europe? -In all of Europe.

So Diocletian, he was normal with the Catholics

until the end of his rule. Then he started persecuting them.

And then he killed Duje, Saint Duje, which is the saint patron of Split.

So now, this is the Saint Duje's Cathedral.

- So was it built for Diocletian? -Yes.

He killed this man who became a saint.

Saint patron of Split.

And now Diocletian's mausoleum. Ha-ha!

- Can you imagine? -"I build my cathedral on your grave."

"On your grave," yeah.

-"I kicked you out of your grave." -Pretty good.

- Pretty good, yeah. -See, I love a good story.

And who can resist a tower built for revenge?

I'll spare you all the panting and schlepping,

and just show you the pretty part.

That was helpful, because now I know the rest of Split isn't actually a palace.

It just looks like one.

A palace with very nice food, by the way.

Oh. Are you Mr. Burek?

-Yeah, we are St. Burek. -

-Saint Burek? -Yeah.

-Oh, you've been elevated. -Yeah.

-What's your name? -Tim.

-Tim. I'm Phil. Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, sir.

I wanna try a burek I never had.

What's your favorite?

-Mine? A meat one. -Okay.

-You want one meat, one spinach to try? -Yeah.

-Two. -Thank you.

Oh boy.

Uh-oh. I see what's happening.

I've ordered way too much, as usual.

But it's my job.

A lot of food. Trying a lot of food.

-Thank you, my friend. -You need a plastic bag, sir?

No, because I'm gonna eat it right in front of you. Oh, it's warm!

- It is. -Very warm.

Cheese and spinach.

This one is cheese and… Oh!

Come on. That's a nice lunch.

An ancient dish of fillings wrapped in filo

brought here centuries ago by the Ottoman Turks.

It's like a flaky, buttery, beautiful pastry.

I love this.

Thank you, sir.

Burek!

I'm on to the meat one. You ready?

Born ready.

Burek, let me say this to you.

Burek!

This would be my lunch every day.

-Every day? -Yeah.

Say it with me. Burek!

Burek! People!

Get your burek!

I like how that sounds. Burek. Burek!

What else sounds good around here? Let's look.

So people are telling me I gotta go to Kantun Paulina for a ćevapi.

What's a ćevapi?

- Hello. -Hello, I'm Phil.

-I'm Andre. Nice to meet you. -Hi, Andre. Nice to meet you.

I've heard about your place.

Everyone tells me it's the best ćevapi in all of Split.

And I don't know what a ćevapi is.

- Ćevapi is a little beef sausage. -Yes?

And it's more famous

than hamburgers and cheeseburgers and everything else in the Balkans.

- Oh, the bread is so nice and soft. - Yes.

-I hope you can appreciate this. -Enjoy.

It's on this soft, pillowy roll with these,

you know, sausages inside,

and the beautiful sauce, and the tomato and every…

It's delicious!

The oldest burger.

-The oldest burger is a ćevapi. -Yes, sir.

I never knew.

Croatia!

I said, "Oh my God."

"This Croatian ćevapi, it's phenomenal!" It's not Croatian.

Wow, that's good.

It's Bosnian.

Ćevapi.

It is good, though. I don't care.

People, resolve your differences

so I can just enjoy the sandwich.

And now, dessert.

Look how nice. Look at how sweet.

It's special for you.

Special for me.