Royal Pains

Previously on Royal Pains...

How about today we save two for the price of one?

You let a billionaire hospital trustee die

To save some kid off the street. I made a judgment call.

- You made a mistake. - This trip is gonna get you

Back on your feet. What trip?

To the Hamptons.

- Boris Kuester Von Jurgens-Ratenicz.

Stay in my guest cottage for the summer.

Be my concierge doctor.

Concierge doctor to the rich

And an on-call doctor to the rest of us.

A Robin hood of medicine. Apparently the check

You wrote them for our new portable EKG machine

Just bounced. What's up?

- We're broke. - What do you mean, broke?

- We got scammed. - By who?

I can't believe you didn't tell me

That dad took all our money.

All right, so it took a little longer than I thought.

It's still the same shade of green.

**

Ow. Ow.

Some right you got there, Hank, huh?

I would know.

Oh, yeah, you look

Like the real barroom brawl type.

Yeah, looks can be deceiving.

Okay. All done, rocky.

The setup you've got here is just amazing.

Look at this. My sons, huh?

One's a doctor. One's a businessman.

You're working together.

This is too much.

I mean, I remember

When you were still little pishers.

You need directions to the highway?

Look, I understand about the check, okay.

It didn't cover the whole thing.

But you know that I'm still good for it.

We know you're good for it, dad.

Oh, yeah, he's good for it.

Come on. Hank!

You know, Hank,

I've had a pain in my heart for 20 years

Since the last time I saw you.

Today, first time, it's gone.

Drive safe.

What was that? You all right?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Okay, stop, are your eyes sensitive to the light?

Well, it's a little glare-y.

It's a sign of a concussion.

Okay, that's it.

You're not driving with a concussion, dad.

We're not gonna let him drive with a concussion, right?

Doctor?

I'll get some Tylenol

And a blanket.

Can you walk?

Huh? Yeah.

Oh, God.

Evan!

Oh, my God. They're here?

They sure are.

What is it?

It's opportunity, Hank.

Souvenirs. Yes.

People are gonna see this,

And they're gonna think Dr. Hank Lawson.

No, they'll wonder if I'm a physician

Or batting cleanup.

no, they're gonna wonder

If I'm a physician or batting cleanup.

- You're not funny. - So good.

Why are we spending money we don't have

On merchandise nobody needs?

I ordered them before the incident, okay.

I would return them. They're customized.

What do you want me to do? It's a good business move.

Where's Eddie r.?

- Who knows? - He just--he took off?

Don't worry. I'm sure he'll call in 20 years.

Eddie r. Will be back, okay.

Not that I'm keeping score or anything,

But back at the Waldorf, you also said

He wasn't coming back, but then he came back,

So let the record show that you were wrong.

The record will reflect that.

Get ready. We got to go.

So awesome.

I'm thirsty.

Why are we here?

To welcome back Ms. Newberg's stepdaughter.

- Where was she? - I don't know.

- Who is she? - No idea.

- So why are we here? - Out of respect.

Ms. Newberg's one of our top clients.

And given our current predicament,

Financially, we can't afford

To pass up any opportunity to drum up business.

Know what I mean?

I'll catch up with you later.

Hello, Ms. Newberg.

Ms. Casey.

Hello, Dr. Lawson.

- Congratulations on the homecoming of your--

Save it, Hank.

She didn't come home?

She came home, all right.

She was supposed to come home from Lyon, France,

Where she was supposed to be finishing

At a very prestigious cooking school.

Turns out she had met an American guy in France,

Quit cooking school, and followed him to San Francisco,

Where he teaches yoga.

We do not approve. Mm.

I've heard this story three times.

- Got it. - I thought she was going

To come home a confectioner.

Instead, she's doing downward-facing dog

In my living room with a man

Who wears athletic shorts for a living.

Jill, why can't Blake find

A nice, young doctor like you did?

Oh, uh...

Well, we're not together anymore.

You're single? Perfect.

Blake, there's someone I want you to meet.

- Oh, doesn't Blake have a-- - Blake, this is Hank.

Hank is my doctor.

Tutu, not again.

And he's single. Right, Jill?

Uh, yeah.

It's nice to meet you.

This is my boyfriend Jamie.

- Oh, yeah, I wasn't-- - It's okay.

You are the third single man

Ms. Newberg has introduced Blake to.

Apparently, I haven't made the cut.

Tell him what you do, Jamie.

Well, aside from loving Blake,

I teach yoga.

Stop being so humble.

He owns six yoga studios

Throughout Northern California,

Not to mention that he writes a blog

And travels the world promoting wellness.

I have no idea what that means.

Tutu's been doing this

Since I got out of college.

If a man isn't a lawyer, a doctor, or a banker,

Then he isn't worth considering.

And since I married all three,

Tutu would know.

I'm sorry, guys. Tutu?

I married her father when she was just a year old.

So I was her second mother and she called me two.

For some reason I kept repeating it,

And it became tutu.

And then it stuck.

She really is giving this marrying raj thing 100%.

Yeah, nothing says commitment

Like feeding another human being shellfish in public.

And I thought it was free bat day.

This...

- Oh, God. - Is awesome.

I know. Just look at this!

It's subliminal.

I don't think you know what subliminal means.

It's just good advertising.

I put a HankMed head on every third table.

- HankMed head? - Yeah.

Oh, this just keeps getting better.

It's catchy, right? HankMed head.

Okay. Pick up and destroy every one of 'em.

- Come on, look how cute-- - Every one.

Now.

Go. Wait, no.

This HankMed head would sell for a fortune

At my yard sale.

But then again, how do you put a price

On something like this? You're having a yard sale?

Well, technically, it's a sell everything

That Charlie every owned, touched, or gave me sale,

But that was too tricky to put on a sign.

Those are brutal. Do you have help?

Well, no,

Not yet, but I'll manage.

If you need an extra pair of hands,

We could do--yeah. - Yeah.

It's Blake. She's in trouble.

Lungs and heart sound normal.

All right, tell me exactly what happened.

- Well, we were-- we had been--

- This is my fault. I had Blake doing

An advanced pose and got carried away.

So you two were doing yoga in the middle of your party?

You have to understand. Blake hates parties.

I hate being the center of attention.