The Bear

So let us begin.

Imagine yourself on a journey to places vast and magical,

like Evanston and Pilsen and maybe, just one day,

maybe if we're lucky, Schaumburg.

The Original Beef of Chicagoland's franchise expansion pack

will allow for the same beautiful and majestic sandwich of Orleans Avenue

to be delivered throughout Illinois.

On behalf of myself and Chi-Chi Zucchero

and Chuckie DeValentino, Albert Schner and Cheese,

we promise to deliver the same bodacious Berzanno quality

day in and day out,

without having the nuisance of… …dining room and baskets.

No.

Stop talking, Carmen.

Your blue eyes will not faze me.

Hmm?

I expect your signature immediately.

I accept.

Buongiorno, Natalia.

Ah. Buongiorno. Grazie.

We alive?

Well, barely.

Tina's at the farmers market right now and it's tight,

but we're gonna have enough to get us through a couple days.

The meat deliveries are back on with a reduced order…

- Okay. - …and we are gonna make payroll.

Incredible.

- Yeah. - What? Not incredible?

If every night for the rest of our lives was like last night,

then, yes, it would be incredible.

What was our profit?

None.

None?

How the fuck is that even possible?

We got to pay people and we got to buy things.

We had to buy a bunch of pipes. We had to fix a wall.

Our margins are terrible. We're already at 190 a head.

What if we raise that?

190 feels like a special occasion. 200 feels out of control.

Hey, do you remember a couple that got engaged here?

Oh, yeah. Neil and I officiated it.

Well, they work for Pellegrino,

and they invited you to an international hospitality seminar.

International?

Where?

Japan.

Whoa.

Yeah.

So, I'll RSVP for you, okay?

Yeah, I got to check my schedule, um.

Sweeps and I are, um…

Putting some finishing touches on the Path to Success chart,

and there's a host of other things that's kind of...

Richard…

You should go.

When was the last time you were even on a plane?

I'll think about it.

Okay, you think about it and you let me know.

How many turns tonight?

Incredible.

- Yeah, should be good. - Yep.

- Yeah, exactly. - Exactly.

I told you to do that.

I'm gonna…

- I'm gonna check the roof. - Okay.

- Yeah, do you need help? - No.

Okay, okay, okay.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - No, no. I'll get that.

- I told you to do that. - That's what I was gonna do.

- I told you you just need a wrench... - No, I did. The tape was gonna hold.

- No, the tape was never gonna hold. - Yes, it was.

- I didn't have that tool. - It can't hold anything.

So what actually happened?

Hard to say. He just kind of like fell through.

Who fell through?

Ted.

What was Ted doing on the roof?

I honestly have no idea.

He just kind of went off rope, you know?

Okay, is this everything?

Yes, Chef.

More than we had yesterday.

That's the goal.

A little more each day?

Yeah, but… Pfft.

- What? - Never mind, it's stupid. Uh, nothing.

Okay, no, I mean... What? What is it?

Well, last night we had less to work with.

- Yeah. - And it kept getting worse.

But it was, like, the best.

I want to do that again.

- What, am I weird? - No, not at all.

And afterward, it was like… I was all hyped up. I couldn't sleep.

- Me too. - Yeah.

But then I was thinking, like, yeah, we have one arm

mostly two arms tied behind our backs, and we still did all right.

Right? Like, I kept thinking this is not over.

You can't count this out, not yet.

You know? We're gonna…

We're gonna fight, all together.

I like that.

- Me too. - Yeah… …I know.

I know.

- That's why I made you my CDC. - That's it.

Well, that's it.

Morning.

Look who it is.

Where did that bench come from?

Basement. Plumbers brought it out.

May I sit?

You may.

- I'm sorry I didn't tell you... - I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself.

You know…

I got…

On one side of my brain,

you know, like, the business side, side is not so hot right now,

I keep thinking, you know, "This nephew of mine,

he really ran this business of mine into the fucking ground."

You know, upsetting to me.

- I know. I know. That's… - Hold on, hold on.

I got some real anger there, you know.

Some, like, hot fucking lightning-bolt- flying-out-of-my-cock anger,

and I don't think that's out of line.

You know, again, as somebody who invested in you, right?

And got fucked up and down the street, right?

Now, to be clear, that was my decision, right,

to enter this colorful world of fucking food service fuckery.

So as far as I'm concerned, that's on me, that's my problem, all right?

Which kind of point…

I mean, that's not the side of my brain

from whence I told you to go fuck yourself.

Sorry, which part of your brain told me to go fuck myself?

The other side.

The side where I, um…

I just love you so fucking much.

Carm, I don't.

I don't want you to give up on things.

All right?

You can't stop doing something just because it's hard, you know,

or your fucking uncle's mad at you or you're sad.

And we got a real serious quitting problem in this family.

Not the freaking Kumbaya restaurant family.

- I'm talking about our family, you know. - I hear you.

I have quit… …every job I ever tried,

every single fucking one of them, yep.

I'm not interested in a fucking thing.

You know, I just follow the money, which is such a solid strategy.

Because look at how fucking broke I am now.

Again, not your fault, my fault.

I am so fucking broke.

I have to rely on the good graces

of that blue-chip investment firm of Computer, Cheese

and fuck my ass to stake me with Ebra.

Okay? That's where I'm at, right? So no quitting shit.

Sorry, what about Ebra?

He said he was gonna talk to you.

He didn't talk to you? Some fucking franchise idea.

What do you mean? For The Bear?

No, The Beef.

Ghost kitchens in the suburbs, whatever the fuck that means.

Fuck me. That's…

That's really smart.

It is?

Yeah, it is.

Look, Uncle J, everything you're saying…

I agree with.

Okay, everything you're saying…

That's why I have to leave.

Well, Lee was right.

Whoa.

First time in a long span of history anybody ever said that.

Yeah.

Now, what was that rat-faced little butt zit right about?

To break patterns, you have to break patterns.

Wow.

Fucking fancy.

You know, this place is gonna be okay.

Oh, my God, now you're scaring me again.

She's the real deal.

I-I-I know that. The fucking restaurants are not.

This one is.

How do you know, young man?

Well, I've been in a few of them.

- Can I ask you a question? - Hmm.

If I want to get with DD,

do I gotta ask for your fucking hand or something?

- I'm not talking to you about this. - Come on.

- I'm trying to do the right thing. - I'm not talking to you about this.

I just want to take her to fucking dinner.

Hey, thanks so much for getting back to me. I'm...

Oh, yeah?

Well, um, like, I know I called you guys and I left some messages,

but I actually found a job as a sommelier.

I-I know, I know. It's crazy, man. It's like a family place.

Been there forever. I start today, so…

No, no, I feel good about it. I feel good about it.

So, I'm gonna give it a shot,

but I really appreciate you looking out for me, man.

And I'm sorry if I let you down in any kind of way,

but I'll let you know if I can send somebody your way.