Crocodile

I'M TELLING YOU, MAN--PIZZA.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO, HANDS DOWN.

IT'S LIKE SEX.

IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

OH, EXPLAIN, PLEASE. ENLIGHTEN ME.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, WHEN IT'S GOOD, IT'S GREAT, RIGHT?

YEAH.

AND WHEN IT'S BAD...

MMM.

IT'S STILL PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

YOU'RE A MORON, YOU KNOW THAT?

COME ON, DUDE, HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

YOU'VE GOT ONE FOOD TO EAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,

AND IT IS...

YAMS.

YAMS?

THERE'S A TRIBE-- I THINK IT'S IN AFRICA--

THAT SUBSISTS SOLELY ON THE YAM.

WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS SHIT?

HEY, I'M JUST BEING PRACTICAL.

WHOO-HOO! HA HA HA!

COME ON, BITCH.

AAH!

HEY, BRADY.

[YOUTHS SHOUTING AND LAUGHING]

YOU LITTLE SHIT!

OH, THEY'RE GOING TO GET IT.

I SWEAR TO GOD, THEY'RE GOING TO GET IT.

I...

I, UH--UH...

WHAT? WHAT WAS--

WHAT? HER BEST FRIEND WENT TO CABO WITHOUT HER, MAN.

WHAT COULD I DO?

YOU INVITED HER?YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.

CLAIREDOESN'T IS GOING TO--KNOW.

AND SHE WON'T FIND OUT, SO CHILL OUT.

HEY, BOYS!

[YOUTHS SHOUTING AND LAUGHING]

BESIDES, DUDE, YOU SAID YOURSELF IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE.

OUR FRESHMEN WEEK WAS A LONG TIME AGO FOR HER, TOO, PAL.

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, D.

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, MAN.

I AM SO DEAD.

A RECKLESS LIFE IS THE ONLY LIFE WORTH LIVING, MY FRIEND.

SWEETIE PIE.

HEY, WHERE'S MY ANNABELLE? HEY.

PERFECT.

5 DAYS ON THE LAKE,

AND THE WILD WOMAN'S GOING TO START COMING THROUGH.

5 DAYS ON THIS LAKE, THEN WE GO SHOPPING BIG TIME.

THAT'S THE DEAL, SWEETIE.

FRESH AIR,

ALL OF THIS WATER--

IT'S GOING TO DO SOME CRAZY THINGS TO YOU.

HMM.

I'M GOING TO MAKE AN OUTDOORS GIRL OUT OF YOU YET.

I DON'T THINK SO.

GO BACK TO KANSAS, TOTO. GET OUT OF HERE.

GET OUT OF HERE.

BRADY.

HI.

HI.

OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

YEAH.

THIS TRIP'S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN.

I KNOW. IT'S GOING TO BE A BLAST. I CAN'T WAIT.

WELCOME TO LAKE SOBEK. I AM YOUR HOST.

SPIKE, HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?

HER NAME IS PRINCESS,

AND CAREFUL WITH THAT BOW.

EXCUSE ME.

CLAIRE!

BRADY.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WANTED TO BE WITH ME.

CHILL OUT, SUNSHINE.

YOU ALWAYS GOT ME.

ICK.

I'D RATHER SUCK ON A TROUT.

YOU MISS ME?

YOU KNOW IT. MMM.

AHEM.

DUNCAN, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO--

GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, CLAIRE.

HEY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS CLAIRE.

SHE AND I AND DUNCAN WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER.

BRADY'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU GUYS.

EVEN THE JUICY STUFF?

THERE'S NO JUICY STUFF.

HA HA HA! BUT WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED, RIGHT?

OH, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

NOBODY'S STARTING ANY DAMN THING AROUND HERE

UNTIL WE COME TO A DECISION.

WHAT?

NOW, WHO EXACTLY...

IS BUYING THE BEER?

WHOO!

All: BEER! BEER! BEER!

BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER!

BEER! BEER! BEER!

SO, YOU'RE FROM AROUND HERE?

YEAH. MY WHOLE FAMILY.

YEP. GOT KINFOLK FROM ALL AROUND THESE HERE PARTS.

YEAH, WELL, I'D SHUT UP IF I WERE YOU, MAN.

MY KIN GAVE US A BIG BREAK ON THE BOAT RENTAL,

SO KEEP IT UP, BOY.

UHH!

KIT, HELP ME, PLEASE.

Kit: COMING TO THE RESCUE, SWEETIE.

GUYS, WE COULD USE SOME HELP OVER HERE.

HEY.

YOU ALL COULD HELP ME BY SHOWING ME A LITTLE I.D.

THERE YOU GO.

NOW, LOOK, KIDS,

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE.

PARTY TIME.

HA HA HA.

HECK, I USED TO DO THAT MYSELF.

AMAZING YOU FOUND THE TIME,

WHAT WITH ALL THE PIG SHOWS

AND TRACTOR PULLS AND SUCH.

Boy: AHEM.

SON...

DO YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR VACATION

LOOKING AT THE LAKE THROUGH A SET OF BARS?

NO, SIR.

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

NOW, YOU ALL MAKE SURE THAT WHOEVER'S DRIVING YOUR RIG

IS SOBER, YOU GOT ME?

LAST YEAR, SOME BOZO CAME THROUGH HERE,

WENT JET-SKIING AFTER A KEGGER--

RAN RIGHT INTO A BOAT.

THERE WASN'T MUCH LEFT OF HIM,

BUT MY MEN WERE ABLE TO SCRAPE ENOUGH OF HIM

OFF THE PROPELLER TO KNOW

THAT HE HAD A B.A.C. OF 0.25.

WE'LL BE CAREFUL, SIR.

GOOD.

NOW, SPRING BREAK IS VACATION FOR YOU KIDS.

FOR ME?

THAT'S MY BUSY SEASON,

SO YOU TRY TO KEEP THAT IN MIND.

YES, SIR.

YOU GOT IT.

WELL, THEN...

PRINCESS,

DON'T BOTHER THE NICE SHERIFF.

YOU BETTER GET THAT FLUFF BALL ON A LEASH.

WE DON'T LIKE THAT MAN, DO WE?

NO. NO.

YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

YEAH.

GOOD. GOOD.

DID YOU HAVE TO BRING DUNCAN HERE WITH US?

CLAIRE,

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS THING

BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.

I JUST THINK HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

HE'S NOT THAT BAD.

YOU'VE NEVER EVEN GIVEN HIM A FAIR CHANCE.

HE'S PRETTY COOL.

HE GOT YOU EXPELLED FOR CHEATING, BABE.

THAT WAS PARTIALLY MY FAULT, AND YOU KNOW THAT.

WE TALKED ABOUT THAT.

I'M SORRY.

I'M...

I'M JUST PISSED, YOU KNOW?

I WANT YOU AT SCHOOL WITH ME.

AND I'LL BE THERE.

12 MORE UNITS,

AND THEN I CAN TRANSFER.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BABE.

YOU DO?

YEAH.

JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND KEEP DUNCAN THE HELL AWAY FROM ME

THIS WEEK, OK?

YOU GOT IT.

GIVE ME A HUG.

HEY, BRADY,

COME ON, MAN, WE'RE DOING BODY SHOTS OFF SUNNY.

LET'S GO.