Kler (Clergy) (Kler)

"Watch out for false prophets.

They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

By their fruit you will recognize them." Matthew 7: 15-16

CLERGY

It was getting dark

When I saw some messengers arriving

I was still in the middle of ploughing

But I eagerly listened to them saying

They said: Mary's got a son

Mary's got a son

Mary's got a son

Mary's got a son

Mary's got a son

You managed to drag us out.

You weren't afraid at all, right?

To our miraculous rescue!

"He said to them, 'My house will be a house of prayer,

but you have made it 'a den of robbers."

The Gospel of St Luke, chapter nineteen, verse forty-five to forty-eight.

"Don't try to prove your manhood by how much you can drink.

Wine has been the ruin of many."

That's why I don't drink wine.

- He doesn't know! - He doesn't know!

The Wisdom of Sirach.

Chapter thirty-one verse twenty-five.

Do you know the best part of the story?

That...

one year before the miracle was proclaimed

they called for a tender

to build a parking place for forty coaches.

Praise the Lord...

- ...bucks and gold. - ...bucks and gold.

Tell me something.

Aren't you good here?

- On the contrary. - Why Rome then?

What do we do?

Go!

Thirteen seconds!

It's a home run!

Fuck!

What are you doing here?

I came to Father Kukula.

Mrs Nowak's dying.

I'm going in vain again.

She's supposed to die today.

- Do you need a lift? - No, I've got my bike.

Your father's drinking again?

It's OK.

Mary's got a son...

Fuck, you must have seen it...

Yes.

And who's got the banks?

Who the fuck has the banks?

Vatican...

- I'm not saying it's Jews. - ...and Toruń.

Fuck!

Praised be Jesus Christ.

Now and for ever.

Through this holy anointing

may the Lord in his love and mercy,

infinite mercy,

help you with the grace of the Holy Spirit.

- Amen. - Amen.

Formed by divine teaching we dare to say:

Our Father, who art in Heaven...

A funeral parlour. Trustworthy and I can recommend them.

Great!

Let go of me!

- What are you doing? - Calm down.

Stop it! Now! What's it all about?

Sgt Madecki, District Police Department.

You've been reported to disturb quiet hours.

- Your IDs! - But it's OK now, isn't it?

Your ID and car documents, Father.

He ripped off my mirror.

Give me your ID!

And the breathalyser for Father 'cause he's been driving drunk.

Hi.

There's a misunderstanding at my church.

It's Stg Madecki. Talk to him.

Inspector Bury wants to speak with you.

Hallo?

- But... - The card ...

Yes, Sir.

God be with you.

Get it! You'll buy a new one.

What am I supposed to do?

- I'll move the car. - What am I...

We'll talk later. Wait!

...and it occurred he had a wife.

And I got scared I wouldn't manage myself.

And I killed my unborn child.

And what was its name?

Whose name?

The child's name.

But, Father...

All right.

Your penance will be ten "Our Fathers" and ten "The Hail Marys".

And "The Chaplet of Divine Mercy".

Leave it!

You promised you wouldn't drive drunk.

I've killed a hare.

Go to bed!

Bring Zajdel over! The car needs fixing, right?

How are you going to go to school like that?

I'm OK.

- Has Jan called? - Yes, he has.

He said his mother was getting better and he would be back a day after tomorrow.

Good.

Of course it's good.

People start talking he's got a woman and that's why he's always away.

What is it?

Praised be Jesus Christ.

GBP don't agree.

What do you mean they don't agree?

Who's responsible for that?

Rabczynski, but he won't pick up the phone.

So find him and make him bring the geologist over.

The mass is in a week and it'll be broadcast all over Poland.

I can't do anything about that. Limos can't come closer than 100 metres

provided it doesn't rain.

Have you ever seen an archbishop walking in mud?

And what if the president's wife is going to wear high heels?

Those examinations sucked.

The geologist carried them out when it was dry.

He wrote the ground couldn't get wet.

The contractor didn't secure it. It's your fault.

Our fucking fault? Forgive me, Father! Our fault?

You must remove mud and build the road to the altar.

Substructure's made of crushed aggregate. I can't I'll pour lean concrete on it.

Do you have any fucking road in these plans?

If that comes out, I'll go to prison, not you, or Father.

Later, you can tear off the asphalt and there will be no trace of any road.

The good of the Church requires to bypass the regulations.

I don't know. We must put at least two layers of asphalt here,

prepare everything, empty the dumper, bring over two rollers...

- remove the ground, right? - Yeah.

How much?

Eight by one hundred fifty. I don't know...

...a thousand square metres?

How much money?

Hanka!

Praised be Jesus Christ. You called for me, Father.

I've got a problem.

I was coming from dinner at a fellow priest's.

We hanged out a bit longer and a hare or deer jumped out on the road.

I didn't manage to swerve. How much?

The headlight, bumper, mirror...

Wouldn't it be better to change the car after Christmas pastoral visits?

At least...

...a thousand.

And five hundred.

We can make a deal.

OK, but take the car in the evening so that people don't talk.

- Praised be Jesus Christ. - Now and for ever.

What brings you here?

- We must... - We'd like to get married.

Wait a minute.

We'll need to speed up pre-marital counselling to avoid scandal.

But how? I have no time slots.

I've got money. I'll pay.

Good.

As you can see our parish is poor.

Drainpipes must be changed. Do you know how much they cost now?

Two thousand. As much as a wedding.

I won't charge much for the baptism. You're young. Give as much as you can.

- Praised be Jesus Christ. - Now and for ever.

- Are we playing today? - When will you return my slingshot?

When you win.

Rudy! Pass it here!

Goal!

Come and play with us.

...two, three, four, five. The line is here. Stand here.

Make a nice wall and cover yourselves.

Now! Go on!

Stop! Once again! Stop!

Give it here!

Why didn't Rysiek play?

Thank you for calling back, Tomek. I need some asphalt... for tomorrow.

I get it... not over the phone. I'll drop by. God be with you.

Miracles are your domain, not ours. Everything went for Balice.

How much if we skip invoices?

A hundred and twenty.

But in cash and today.

A priest is walking down the street and he sees some shit.

"Damn it, I said "shit",

Fuck, I said "damn it".

Fuck it, I didn't want to be a priest anyway.

- Praised be Jesus Christ. - Now and for ever.

Can we have a word?

What's the problem with the building site?

A problem? It's a little damp there. The mass isn't jeopardised. Let's talk.

If the EU withdraws the grants for missing the deadline, we're fucked.

Soon, I'll need 150 grand for the road substructure and asphalt. In cash.

How am I going to get it?

The engineer blew it. Morda chose him so he should give the dough.

Otherwise, fucking forget about the mass.

...once when lying on the beach in Nice I felt hatred for birds

which wanted to make holes in one of my greatest works.

- Praised be Jesus Christ. - Praised be Jesus Christ.