The L Word - Third Season

Previously on The L Word...

This is Bette. This is Angelica's other mother.

Thanks for letting us hang with Angelica today.

- You want me to take a picture? - A family picture.

You're Angelica's intended parent.

California court would almost certainly grant the adoption.

That's not what I want. I don't want 50-50 joint custody.

Don't tell me you're trying to get out of child support.

I want sole custody.

Her blood pressure started to fall...

and inspite of our best efforts

her heart failed and we couldn't bring her back.

Are you gonna sell out?

Start sleeping with the enemy?

If you think men are the enemy, than you and I have a problem.

I'm her girlfriend.

We live in the same house and we sleep in the same bed.

- ...mother. - Get out. Both of you.

Do you marry me?

Yes.

- Hi. - Hi.

Come in.

Scratch me.

- Oh Harder. - I don't wanna hurt you.

It's ok. I just wanna feel something.

I want you to make me bleed.

Please, make me bleed.

It's sort of like a Mexican wedding cake. it's got pineapple and walnuts in it.

Lara, you are a culinary genious.

Do you guys think that Shane's gonna go through with it?

I have to admit, I'm a little bit surprised that she's gotten this far.

All I can say is she'd better go through with it because...

I put 15 rooms at the Fairmont Chateau Whistler.

Not to mention the...what was it?

- The fondue. - The massages.

That's very generous of you.

It's nice to have rich friends, isn't it?

You know, it makes me...

happy to to it 'cause...

Shane doesn't have any family and Carmen...

I don't know if any of the them coming.

Are there any of her family coming?

Oh my God! You guys haven't heard about Shane?

- You know? - What?

That Shane's meeting with her dad tomorrow.

- What? - I thought Shane was an orphan.

Yeah I thought she was an orphan too.

A couple of weeks ago...

Her dad's wife was in a beauty salon or whatever...

and she was reading Angelina Magazine.

- I did that. - Alright, that piece about WAX.

I didn't see that.

She gave it to her dad, and her dad called...

Anyway, Shane is going to Oregon City...

to visit Gabriel...

- ...McCutcheon. - Wow!

I think I'm gonna go, you guys.

- Byebye. - Bye Alice.

- Your cake was fantastic. - Oh thank you.

It was really good.

Kit, can i have your cake?

Bye!

- Hey Alice? - Yeah?

Are you ok?

Yeah. I am.

I just have a lot to do with the wedding and everything.

Thanks for asking.

No. I don't want Carmen to know. I don't wanna get her hopes up.

Just make sure the hotel's holding the rooms, alright?

You should see Carmen, she looks incredible!

Fine. I've gotta go. Bye.

...twist and turn and shake it all loud.

I don't know. What should I do? Should I go like bridal femme?

Should I totally try and push it up in some way?

What's Shane doing? Is she wearing a traditional tux?

No, It's Shane. So she's not gonna do anything traditional.

You know what? It doesn't matter.

You should just do whatever feels good for you.

Try this one.

- What? - I don't know. I don't know.

Am i really trying to marry the most unobtainable

person on the face of this planet?

It's ok.

You were thinking about ditching on me, weren't you?

- No, I... - Yes, you were. I saw it in your eyes.

Come on. It's ok.

So you're a hairdresser in a skateboard shop.

I might need an explanation.

Don't really have one. It's just what I do.

Ok!

Have you always wanted to do that?

Did you go to school for it?

No, I just kinda picked it up on the way.

You're not giving me a lot to work with here.

You don't like answering questions, huh?

Well, I don't either.

So go ahead,

ask me something.

Why did you wanna meet me?

I didn't.

My wife Carla made me.

At least you're honest.

When I saw you standing up there on the street...

when I saw you deciding if you were gonna ditch me...

I was thinking the exact same thing.

I bet you were.

Kind of like when I was little, right?

Kind of sorta.

This needs to be taken in like this.

- That's a lot though. - I don't like it.

Jenny, what did you wear when you got married.

- You were married? - Oh yes.

I wore a beautiful pair of black Converse

with a great pair of rich tights with dirt on them.

A jeans skirt and then I wore this...

beautiful old ripped stained pink sweatshirt.

That's not exactly your wedding dress of your childhood dreams.

I didn't really have that childhood thing of...

you know, getting married.

You know that all little girls are supposed to have that kind of dream, right?

Not little gay girls.

Oh, wow. This has 'Jenny' written all over it.

That's beautiful.

Look at the beats.

When Tina and I were talking about getting married,

We both wanted to have fabulous dresses.

How come you guys didn't get married?

Tina thought it would be too conventional.

She didn't wanna cleave to the heterosexual paradigm.

Now it's cleaving all over her.

Oh God!

Come back to us, Tina. Come back on our site.

Fuck that. They can have her.

I think you would look beautiful in your wedding dress.

Go on, Bette. Try it on.

No thanks.

I mean, I knew I was gay since I was 12, but...

I don't know, I was just kinda dreaming of something like this.

I was working until I hurt my back.

Now I drive a truck for a beverage distributor.

How did you hurt your back?

Thank you.

We have these long bags, you know?

And we tend to hunch forward to slant our shoulders.

You always did as a kid.

I used to come watch you.

I'd see you on the playground at Church School.

You always looked...

so pissed off.

You never talked to me.

It wouldn't have been much good to you back then.

All I cared was getting high...

getting laid...

I'd probably still be doing it...

if my friend Chuck hadn't OD'ed.

I'm sorry.

As strong as I was, it really shakes you hard when you lose someone...

that's really close to you.

Yeah.

I...

I just lost a really close friend recently.

So...

Why don't you come home with me for dinner?

It'd be a good time to meet Carla and Shay.

Shay?

We almost called him Shane because I love the name so much.

I named you that, you know?

She's been with Tina and Henry for the last two nights.

I don't know why I should have to share my time.

Because it would look bad in court if Tina tells the judge...

that you refused to fly on the same plane with her.

Her boyfriend is coming up on the weekend.

Why can't she just wait and go up with him?

Joyce, I can't be in close corners with her.

I just can't.

Just be genial and civil, ok?

Just do it for your kid.

But whatever you do, Bette, please...

don't cause a scene.

What if she brings up the custody plan?

You don't tell her that we're going for sole custody.

We don't want her to know about that until we tell her.

I know.

- Ok? - Yeah.

I think I'm gonna take that job.

Excellent! That will play very well in court.

Dean of a prestigious art school...

And it can't hurt when it comes to pulling in chicks.

Excuse me?

Lots of pretty young art students...

It'll be like a kid in a candy store.

God Joyce.

You're clearly unethical. I would never do anything like that.

Excuse me, I'm so sorry, counselor...

- I need to talk to you. It's important. - What is the matter?

- Let's just go. - Excuse me.

Why do go in the bathroom?

- What's that? - What do you think?

That's a home pregnancy test.

Oh come on Kit, you're in menopause,