Scrubs

Gunshot wound to the left side. Seems to have missed the heart

but shredded the lung.

BP dropping. He's hypoxic. He's 70.

He must have nicked a vessel. Gotta find the bleeder.

Prep for a thoracotomy. On my count. Three, two, one.

- Order two units of O-neg. - Scalpel?

A career in medicine can take you down many different paths.

- Spreader? -

If you're lucky, you end up where you're supposed to be.

- Found it. Clamp. -

Clamping.

- - BP rising. Great save, J.D.

Great. Let's get him to the OR, guys.

No.

- Stop it. Stop. - Dorian! Dorian!

- Stop it. - Dorian!

- You guys are crazy. Stop it. No. - Dorian! Dorian! Dorian!

- Dr. Dorian? - Yeah?

- Will you sign my tattoo? - Sure.

That was a good hair day.

- Dorian! Dorian! - Great job, man.

- Glad you're feeling better. - Dorian! Dorian! Dorian! Whoo!

Dr. Dorian?

Sure, being a concierge doctor isn't nonstop excitement,

but I have more time to see my kids.

No, Frank. For cuts this small, we just use a little dab of glue.

Fantastic job keeping your food journal, Lisa.

I just didn't expect to see the word "smash burger" on every page.

It's really been a full four hours? We gotta get that thing down, Reggie.

And making house calls for the upper crust sure pays well.

I'm more concerned with how it's leaning.

Yep, this was my life now.

That's why it felt so weird to be back at Sacred Heart.

I live an hour away, but one of my patients collapsed

at her grandson's soccer tournament nearby and got admitted. So here I am.

Okay, listen up, people. Listen up.

That means you, neck brace.

Some things never change.

This hospital is code black, which means we are at capacity.

So, unless you got a baby's head peeking out from between your legs,

do not ask me how much longer.

How much longer, mamacita ?

I'll mess you up.

Oh, my God. Bambi.

- What the hell? -

Does Turk know you're here?

He has no idea.

J.D. is here.

- Turk! - J.D.!

Coming in hot!

Ready to receive!

- Oh. - Eagle!

Yeehaw...

- Oh, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. - My back.

- No, no, it's your sciatica. - Get off.

- Engage your core, C-Bear. - Oh, God. No. Oh, I'm going down.

- Pull up, pull up. - I'm going down!

- -

I think it might be time to retire Eagle.

She's right, J.D. It's time. Call it.

Okay.

Time of death…

You know, I actually can't see that without my glasses.

So, now that you're in town, should we go out to dinner?

Yes. Do you guys have a place you usually go?

Buddy, we haven't been out to dinner since the Disney princesses were white.

- - Besides, baby,

I could really use some man time.

Turk was surrounded by female energy.

He had four daughters,

- Izzy, Ellie, Sophia and Nora. - Bye, Dad.

Love you.

Izzy, Beetle, take care of Ella Bella.

Daddy, why don't I have a nickname?

Oh. You do, sweetness.

- You're The Accident. - Turk!

- Fine. Have your guys' night out. - Yes!

- I'll see you later? - See you later, guys.

- All right, give me some. - Ow!

Nostalgia washed over me.

The smell of the bleached floors, the blinding fluorescent lights,

the closet where Elliot and I hid from our very first code.

That's where our love story began.

Do me right here.

- Okay. - See?

- Oh. Holy crap. J.D. - Ow!

Good God, you're like a blonde ninja.

What the frick? Why are you here?

Oh, by the way, our marriage didn't make it.

I have a patient. I'll be gone soon, I promise.

Your promises mean just about as much as…

We agreed in couples' counseling

that in order to have a healthy post-divorce life,

we need to respect each other's space.

I hate couples' counseling.

Could you please be mindful of your tone

to avoid negative patterns from our marriage?

I love couples' counseling.

Look, J.D., I've really been working on myself, okay?

I've been lighting a candle for every resentment I had about our marriage

and floating them across the pond at Winston Park.

I'm in a good place. I don't wanna backslide.

I can't just light all those candles again.

It was really cold, and I got a ticket for scaring the ducks.

There's my gal.

Oh, goodness, Jonathan.

They got teenagers working here.

Those are just interns, Mrs. Brooks.

Okay, your labs look fine. I think you're just dehydrated.

Who admitted you?

- I did. - Oh. Uh, can I ask why? No judgment.

None taken.

I admitted her because I'm a good doctor.

Oh. "Dr. Park," is it?

When doctors fight in front of a patient,

they always try to make it sound friendly.

These labs are normal for a woman of her age.

If it helps, I could explain to you what all these fancy numbers mean.

It's so nice to meet…

An incredibly stupid person.

Her abdominal pain suggests ischemic bowel.

No, all she needs is hydration and emollient laxatives.

And there he was, the chief of medicine, my mentor.

At least he couldn't call me newbie anymore.

- What can I do for you there, oldie? - Damn it.

Perry, Dr. Park here needs to know that my medical expertise is on par with his.

Well, now, Dr. Park graduated top of his class at Stanford,

whereas your current claim to fame is handing out erections

like tiny hot dogs at a bar mitzvah.

Well, run a blood gas on her and see who's right.

Dr. Park is teaching me Korean.

Did I hear my name in there?

No. Walk with me.

I, uh, heard about the divorce. Sorry about that.

Also… …thankful I, uh, won five dollars off of Mickhead.

I took the under.

Actually, it is good to see you. I miss the days when you were an intern.

Aw. You don't have to say that.

I knew it. He's about to ask you to play golf at his fancy private club.

Damn it. Why did you only learn the mini kind?

Get a load of this motley crew.

No, no, no. Sorry.

I am not sure how to teach these kids.

I can't work them crazy hours or even abuse them anymore.

- And that's a bad thing? - Yeah, exactly.

I wasn't sure if you would get that.

I am now supposed to watch every word that comes out of my mouth

because apparently they are all fragile little Christmas ornaments.

Case in point.

TikTok-tock.

Oh. Hey, Dr. Cox.

Tomorrow, I am going to perform a central line placement,

and it would just be fabulous if you could come in early and observe.

I'm good. I just watched one on YouTube, like, two days ago. It slapped.

Do you know Dr. Randy? He's my favorite creator.

He breaks down procedures while doing bedtime ASMR.

It'll give you really graphic dreams.

I'll send it to you. You're gonna die.

I will die if you send it to me, 'cause then I'll just have to murder you.

And with all these witnesses,

I think it's pretty safe to assume they'll give me the chair.

Dr. Cox, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and… bring it down.

Work-life balance is a core principle of our wellness program.

Now, if you can't embrace that,

then you'll have to join me at my sensitivity training workshop.

- Don't I get three strikes? - You have 900 strikes.

Woman is like the damn feelings police.

Feelings police?

Ugh. Go change your shirt. You look chubby in that.

- -

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- You know he's insecure about his body. - Thank you.

He's just not ready to show you his vulnerability yet.

Wow.

You're really in touch with male feelings.

How do you think I became a feelings cop?

- - What the hell?

- -

I could help so many people.

- Hey. - Good morning, sir.

Dr. ChapStick is flirting with you?

I don't know. I'm never sure.

Last Thursday, he did tell me that he thought I had a cute burp.

Turk, thoughts?

Yeah, he totally wants to get on that flat ass.

Score. I had planned to accidentally burp

near him again today, but then J.D. threw me off my game.

Oh, stop worrying about J.D. Here.

Chug half of that and go launch a cute burp into that man's face.

Okay.

- Hey, guys. -

Frick. I cannot believe I wasted that on you.

- I actually missed those. - Ooh.

Hey, by the way, if you can get out of here early,

we can hit the happy hour that has those awesome free wings.

Dashana, can you go see if there's an open OR?

You know, our diabetic guy, Mr. Kiefer? Let's move his toe amputation up to now.

On it, Dr. Turk. I'll tell the patient there's a free wing issue.

- Don't do that. Don't do that. - Don't mention the wings, please. No, no.