Best Night Ever

Are you really going to film everything?

Yes.

Hi. Hi, Claire.

Trust me. One day you'll watch this and thank me for capturing your last night of freedom.

So come on, you're on.

Okay. Hi, I'm Claire Russell...

soon to be Clair Russell-Morris...

as I'm getting married next Saturday.

Whoo!

And we're on our way to Vegas.

For my bachelorette party.

Whoo!

Yeah!

I don't know what else to say. I feel stupid.

Just say anything. Say whatever you want.

I'm in love.

With my soul mate Dave Morris...

and I can't believe it...

but I really did find the one.

Punch buggy.

Ow.

I'm Zoe. I'm Claire's best friend.

And not a lot of people know...

but when Claire was 12...

I taught her how to kiss.

Shut up.

We need to get everything out in the open.

No, but... But seriously. No joke.

You are my BFF...

and you've always been there for me.

Whenever I've been in trouble.

Yeah, like...

Like anything.

You've always been there for me.

And even though you're getting hitched...

we're still going to have a girls' night out, right?

Yes, Zoe.

I love this girl.

Punch buggy!

All right, Leslie, you're up.

Pass.

Come on. Just say who you are.

Leslie bowman, Clair's wiser older sister...

only by a couple of years.

Five, but who's counting?

Yeah, burn. Burn. Sss.

I'm sorry. How do you and Claire even know each other?

I have a mobile dog grooming business...

you know, the kind that go to your house.

Oh.

Yeah, I've been shaving Claire's muffin for about three years now.

Her dog's name is scout.

I know. I was talking about her pussy.

Punch... Punch... punch pick up.

Stickers! Stickers!

You guys not from around here?

No.

Los Angeles.

Oh, yeah.

We're on our way to Vegas.

- Oh, you're on your way to Vegas? - Yeah.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Yeah.

Mack mack all dressed in black black black...

with silver buttons buttons buttons.

All down her back back back.

She jumped too high high high...

I got her.

I need to pee.

Oh, look, champagne.

We should grab a bottle.

I really gotta pee.

Where do we use the restroom?

- Outside. - Outside?

What did you get? Oh, you got a wine.

Whoo! Party in the bathroom.

Don't drink all my wine.

Is it good?

Want some?

Yeah.

Par... Oh, you're driving.

You're driving.

Whoo! Vegas, here we come!

Whoo-hoo!

We're here!

Okay, let's go over the itinerary.

We check into the hotel...

penthouse suite of course.

Hey, I don't go no penthouse money.

Relax. It's on me.

Leslie married a rich dude.

She's a one-percenter.

We'll have a privately catered in-suite dinner...

lobster, caviar, the works.

Lobster!

Then we'll see Celine Dion in concert...

front row center seats.

Wake up to brunch pool side at the Bellagio.

Thank you, Leslie.

It sounds amazing. It's very generous of you.

Yeah, sounds awesome.

But I never heard the words "man-ass" or "footlong"

anywhere in your itinerary.

That's because it's not that kind of bachelorette party.

Oh.

What about games?

What game?

The bachelorette party game.

You know, like, getting a random guy.

To give us his underwear.

Or kissing a dude with a mustache.

Uh, no.

Cool.

Show us your tits!

You show us your balls.

Show her your balls.

Yeah, baby!

Welcome to Vegas, girls!

The valet.

We have a reservation under the name bowman...

Leslie bowman.

Okay, have fun, but not too much fun.

Love you, too.

Bye.

What's Dave doing for his bachelor party?

His friends got a hotel room.

For poker night and "entertainment".

You're okay with that?

It's his bachelor party.

Boys will be boys.

But I trust him.

Sucker.

I have you for one night in the penthouse.

Excellent, that's our most opulent suite.

It's over 3,000 square feet.

With four separate bedroom suites...

marble baths, eight flat screens...

and a full time Butler.

Holy shit, I think I just squirted.

Perfect.

The room is $4,500 a night...

and I'll need a credit card deposit for additional incidentals.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Bowman...

but your credit card representative would like to speak with you.

Wonder what happened.

I don't know.

Someone got hold of my credit card numbers and just charged up a storm.

Oh, no!

But the credit card company cancelled the cards.

I won't get new cards for a couple of days.

I'm sorry.

Look, we don't need the penthouse suite anyway.

How much for just a normal room?

I'm sorry, but we're completely booked.

Seriously? Nothing?

I wish I could help, but there's a shoe convention this weekend.

You're going to have a tough time finding a room anywhere.

Check these out!

I got us bathrobes.

Egyptian cotton, super comfy.

You mind if I charge these to the room?

What?

Okay. Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.

Now, it's nothing fancy, but I got us a room.

Yeah!

This isn't that bad.

Oh, God.

- What? - Nothing. Nothing.

Home sweet home.

Ugh.

I call bed!

- Comfy? - Yes.

Very comfy.

This place is a dump.

No, it's fine.

Oh.

What's that?

It's a black light app.

To show us if the sheets are clean.

- Ew. - Oh.