The Mallorca Files

?

Senorita?!

? When the moonlight shines

? Down on the sea

? And you think that you got

? Better set me free

? You gotta set me free

? I'll surrender

? Surrender.?

A new case. Anything interesting?

Just some crazy people who live in the hills.

One of them, a fashion model, has gone missing.

Probably just attention seeking.

Not exactly high profile, then.

Which is why I'm giving it to you.

OK, please don't take this the wrong way, Ines,

but you can't just palm off the cases that you don't want your team to do.

I am the chief of police.

I think you'll find I can.

You know, Max and I have a specific remit that we...

The crazies are German, so get on with it.

Where's your boyfriend?

OK, Max isn't my... Morning!

How's my favourite lady today?

Buenos dias, Ines. Buenos dias.

When did she get such a kick out of winding me up?

I just don't understand why she dislikes me so much.

Well, you can be quite rude,

you don't like taking orders,

you drink very weak coffee.

And Ines can't bear anyone who drinks weak coffee.

You rarely show any human emotion,

and there's that look that you give when you're really pissed...

Yes.

It's her birthday tomorrow.

Extend the hand of friendship, buy her a present.

There's no time for shopping.

We've got a missing person to find.

A Valentina Caligari, some model.

It's not just some model.

It's the highest-paid model in Germany.

Oh, yeah, and it's just Valentina.

She's famous enough to be known by only one name.

Well, if she's so famous, then why has nobody spotted her?

Come on.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Did you know that morning sunshine increases serotonin levels?

Yeah, I don't care about happy hormones, Max.

I care about being prepared when we get to...

Otto Caligari's house.

That man is the most sought-after interior designer in Berlin.

HE LAUGHS You'll never guess what he uses

for his signature feature wall.

It's his missing sister we need to focus on.

All right.

So Valentina took the train to Palma yesterday morning,

and hasn't come back? Mm-hm.

She does have a reputation for hedonism.

Maybe she was partying too hard and is somewhere, having a chillax?

OK, you're too old to use the word chillax.

BELL RINGS

Clearly, these people value their privacy.

Palma Police.

Open Sesame.

Ines called the Caligaris crazy people who live in the hills.

Yeah, that's because Ines has no time for the avant-garde.

Finally, something we agree on.

DISTANT LAUGHTER AND CHATTER

FUNK MUSIC

Where would we find Otto Caligari?

Are you a model?

Excuse me?

I could use a few more girls like you on my books.

I mean, the vanilla look is so hot right now.

People are bored of the glowing, beautiful girls.

Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.

My mistake.

Yes, it was.

Otto Caligari?

I see you met my sister's agent.

Oh, class, such verve.

That's one word for it.

Your reputation precedes you, Mr Caligari.

I read all about your feature wall. It's genius.

Genius for some, I suppose.

I just go where my instinct leads me, detective.

So the last time you saw your sister was when? Yesterday morning.

She left at 10 to take the Soller train into Palma.

No-one has seen her since.

Hey, hey, hey!

She just disappeared into thin air.

I mean, how is that possible?

It's not.

But what is possible is that she could have got sidetracked, maybe?

Gone to party somewhere in Palma?

Of course, I've thought of that, detective.

But how can no-one have seen her?

She spends her life dealing with adoring fans and the paparazzi.

We'll need a photo.

My sister is the most recognised face in German fashion industry.

This will do.

What?!

Custom-made Kurt Holtz sunglasses?

Ah.

It was a gift from me to Valentina.

Holtz is a personal friend of mine.

Whatever I ask, he gives.

You know, aren't cultural differences fascinating?

Because in the UK, having your initials on your accessories

is seen as being extremely unsophisticated.

SHE CHUCKLES

You're here about Valentina?

These are detectives Winter and Blake.

Azra is my sister's girlfriend.

We're having a baby and she just disappears.

It's OK.

The police will find her.

Have you any idea where Valentina might have gone?

My girlfriend is a very complicated woman.

Two hearts become one?

She's staying to my end.

FUNKY MUSIC AND CHAT

Who is that?

My sister's fashion designer, Hades Jaffar.

He knows how to have a good time!

No, I'm talking about the waiter.

Richard Webb, best chef on the island.

We need a complete list of all the names of your guests and staff,

Mr Caligari. And who was the last person to see Valentina?

Valentina was my very best friend.

We used to share a flat when we first started out.

Who knew then the dizzy heights we'd reach in our careers?

Folk call me the most influential fashion icon in Europe.

Well, I'm not one for flattery.

Oh, it's the latest facial treatment.

Snail slime?

These are organically-fed snails.

Their mucus contains amazing antioxidants.

Extraordinary.

I must try it. Yes.

So you spoke to Valentina before she left on Monday? Mm-hm.

And did she tell you anything about her plans for that day?

Yeah, she said she was going to Palma for some shopping.

Oh, how she loved shopping.

I mean, who doesn't?

But for me, going out in public is becoming a problem, you know?

My legion of fans.

In fact, the Vogue article lauding my influence...

We know Valentina left the villa at 10.

So what time did this conversation take place with her?

Your hair is magnificent, Ms Olsen.

Yes.

Had it done yesterday in a top salon in Soller.

Didn't charge me, obviously, such good publicity.

You should go in. Mention my name.

Yeah.

As you said, it was ten in the morning

when I last spoke to Valentina, before she went to Palma.

Are you sure about that?

Absolutely.

Well, that was very, very helpful.

Thank you so much for your time, Miss Olsen.

Snails left a little something brown on your cheek.

I don't think it's an antioxidant.

Well, that's an hour of my life I'll never get back.

I thought it was a very interesting way to spend the morning.

The world would be a very dull place without the avant-garde.

I've never met such egotistical, arrogant people in my life.

Thank God you were there.

Whoa! Two compliments in one day.

If it's money you're after, I don't have any.

I meant because you speak their language

and I don't mean German.

Are you referring to my knowledge of contemporary culture

or my ability to gain rapport and get the best out of people?

If you think having "rapport" with a woman who puts snails on her face

is something to be proud of, then...

You just don't like Miss Olsen because she insulted your hair.

Blake!

Ow!

One minute she was there, the next...

...gone.

She can't have just vanished in a puff of smoke.

There's no sign of her getting off at Palma.

You don't think she was with anyone?

Not that I could see.

OK.

We'll get a copy of the footage,

see if forensics can zoom in on the details of the commuters.

Where the hell is she?

So Valentina got on the train in Soller, but never got off at Palma.

It's totally illogical.

There has to be an explanation.

What are you thinking?

How good this ice cream tastes. Want a lick?

OK, never ask me that again.

Just... it sounds wrong.

The last time the ticket inspector saw Valentina, they were in a tunnel

and he followed her to the end of the train. But she was gone.

So then what?